Marriage can be difficult, and for some people, it can last far less time than expected. This can be due to many reasons such as rushing into it, not being honest with your significant other, infidelity, and even physical and mental abuse.
One Reddit user asked Reddit the heartbreaking question, “People who separated/divorced within one year of getting married: When did you know it was a mistake?” and the internet responded passionately.
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Here are some of the most shocking and heart-wrenching stories that people had to tell about their short-lived marriages.
Abusive Partner
“I knew a week after I got married when he slammed my head into the wall ‘because he saw me looking at a man’ at an ice cream shop. I’m from the US and got married in England. This dude changed completely right after we got married. A couple of weeks later, I had to get out of there and come back to the US.” — shirleysensei
It’s good that you got out of there, no one deserves to be in a relationship that toxic! There are helplines for if you are suffering in a situation such as this.
In It For The Money
“Not me but my dad. He got remarried after being divorced for about 5 years. I would have been all for it, but he met this woman in another state on a business trip and would travel up to see her every weekend after they hit it off. They knew each other for 6 months before getting engaged. The engagement was only for 3 months. My brother and I tried telling him about all the red flags, telling him to take his time. My dad is very well-off financially, and we kept trying to earn him things were moving too quickly, that she was only in it for the money […]
“The marriage lasted all of 2 weeks. Apparently my dad’s new bride had the gall to ask my dad to leave everything to her in the will and write me and my brother out. Only then did he realize she was in it for the money. The next day he had the marriage annulled.” — whenyesterdaywemet
A Dark Secret
“Not me, but a friend of mine. They had been married for about six weeks. She had just moved in when they returned from the honeymoon, and she was rearranging furniture, organizing closets, etc., one day while he was at work. She started pulling some of his boxes down from a closet shelf to make room for her things, and a box fell down accidentally, spilling hundreds of pictures of child porn. Divorced the pedo after reporting him to the military police (they were both in the military).” — California1234567
That must have been unbearably heartbreaking and shocking for her, but she did the right thing reporting him at least!
Suicide Attempt
“When he said my son’s suicide attempt interfered with his (ex’s) birthday party.” — ersul010762
There are a few things wrong with this one! Call me a sensitive soul but I think a suicide attempt just maybe trumps an ex’s party!
Murder On The Honeymoon
“We dated for 5 years but on the honeymoon, we had a big argument over my liberal use of sunscreen. She refused to wear any because of ‘chemicals’ and I liberally use it due to my ginger skin. We seriously argued over this for a good hour and she refused to even go into the pool with me because of sunscreen chemicals.
“[…] It was then I realized I picked the wrong person. After a few more psycho arguments (mad at me because of something in her dreams, mad because I didn’t remind her to bring an umbrella….)”
If someone got annoyed at me for sunscreen we’d probably just have to call it a day immediately. I wear so much sunscreen that if you cut me open I bleed Ambre Solaire.
Lying About Money
“When I found out he had 500K in debt that he hadn’t told me about beforehand. [Yes, we had a prenup. He just lied about it on the prenup].” — Li54
Wow, thank goodness they got the prenup. According to the person who wrote this, the divorce was thankfully a remarkable easy split.
Jealousy
“Super late to the Party here, but I knew it was over when she started a fight at my Brother’s funeral because female attendees were giving me hugs as part of condolences.” — BigHairyApeMan
All people feel jealousy in some form or another I suppose, but this is a completely different level!
Threatening Behaviour
“When she pulled a knife a month in, I still stayed for a full year like an idiot.” — ologfrog
You weren’t being an idiot at all; relationships can mess with your head a considerable amount, especially if you’re with someone who uses abusive tactics to control your mental state. These things can seem normal until you get away from them.
Family Ties
“She decided she was in love with her step-brother a month after we got married.” — Fractured_Identity
Well, as short as that one was, it really took a shocking turn at the half-way mark there. You’re probably better out of that relationship, sounds like an uneasy situation.
Not Knowing Who Someone Really Is
“My MIL got married the first time when she was really young. Left him a month later. Turns out he was a raging alcoholic. She had no idea because her family was super overprotective and they were never really allowed to spend time together alone before they got married. Who knew spending time with someone could be the key to knowing if they are a good partner??” — raaaaaaaaaaaachel
It is crucial to really know someone inside out before you decide to marry someone, as otherwise there could be an unexpected, and unwanted, surprise waiting for you once the honeymoon period is over.
Assault
“When he choked me against a wall at a party. He was mad that I laughed at another guy’s joke. People were passing by us but just kinda looked and kept going. Lots of other stuff happened but it took me a while to ‘wake up’ and break away. I was in denial for too long.” — SenexPr0xy
It’s hard to believe that no one would even stop to make sure everything was okay. Again, thankfully this person is out of that awful situation now.
Snap Decision
“When I found out she was sending snapchats to a co-worker. Turns out she was sleeping with him.
“We got divorced, I met the girl of my dreams, we just had our first kid together two weeks ago.” —Astrocketexans
Why do cheaters use social media this way? It’s dumb.
Spending Too Much Time With A Coworker
“Less than a year into actively trying to get pregnant he got discouraged, gave up and started staying out until 4:15 am with his ‘coworker’. He posted selfies on her couch on Snapchat and even went as far as asking her to marry him once he could get rid of me. He had 2 biological children (my stepchildren) that he abandoned at home with me while he was out doing this.
“The icing on the cake was that on my favorite holiday while holding my brand new baby nephew in front of his entire family, he told me he wanted a divorce.” — nomadradar.app
This guy has a truly hideous sense of occasion about him, you’re much better off away from someone like that.
Doubting Your Choices
“The next morning I woke up and thought ‘…when would be a socially acceptable time to get divorced?’
“In hindsight that says miles about why I felt I had to get married.” — marguerite_lavache
It is important to remember to take care of yourself as well as others, it’s not worth putting yourself through hell because you think it will help someone close to you in instances such as this.
A Pretty Solid Clue
“Her running off with a guy she met in rehab was a pretty solid clue that it wasn’t meant to be.” —Mister_E_Phister
Some might say “rehab” was the clue, but people should be given the chance to improve. She just failed.
Out Of The Blue
“I was blindsided by it. We lived together for a year about an hour from my hometown. We relocated, upon her request and desire, to my hometown prior to our marriage so that when we had kids, it’s best to be close to family. We had a house we loved, a dog we loved, jobs we both loved working in…or so I thought. Married in October.
“She goes to visit her sister over the next Labor Day weekend and I can’t attend due to work. Comes back the Tuesday after Labor Day and tells me she’s living a lie and someone else’s dream and she needs a divorce. I had no idea.” — War_Hammer55
Death In The Family
“My brother died a week after the wedding and after about 2 months, he told me that was just too big of a thing to happen at the beginning of a marriage. I tried for 6 more months and then just gave up.” — stilllittlespacey
This smacks of a guy regretting his decision and trying to use any excuse to justify his panicky behavior.
Bonding Over Loss
“I had been fooling around with this girl for awhile. I never wanted anything serious, and I KNEW that from the start. Then my mom was killed…I went into a deep depression and this girl was there for me. Her mom had died of cancer about a year earlier and I guess we really bonded over that. It pushed us much further emotionally than we ever should’ve gone.
“We ended up doing a courthouse marriage. I knew within the month that I had f**ked up. BUT I didn’t want to just give up and get divorced. Once the emotions of my moms death passed, I realized how toxic she really was. She was an incredibly unstable person and ended up just taking me into an even deeper depression. We divorced about a year ago (after being married for about 10 months).” —Monkey_Pube
Throwing Knives And Poisoning Dogs
“A friend of mine was married to this guy for 6 months. He seemed like a nice guy. He had a violent history and spent a few years in jail, but she claimed he had changed. After 6 months, he threw a knife at her because she didn’t want him to eat a pie she had just baked. Later, she learned that he was also regularly poisoning her dog. The dog survived and is fine, but the marriage, not so much.” — kingevanxii
At least she got away without any severe injuries and her dog!
Switch Flipped
“The day after we got married when he slapped me across the face (hard and completely out of the blue). No argument, no conversation leading up to it, nothing. He said it wasn’t that hard of a hit, he was just kidding around, and I was being overdramatic.
“He had never gotten violent with me while dating, but as soon as we got married it was like a switch flipped and he was a COMPLETELY different person. It got worse very quickly, and I ended up filing for divorce 73 days after we got married.” —SHEnanigans0312
Getting The Hell Out
“A cousin of mine divorced her husband after six months. She knew when we had to pick her up from her home after having been recently beaten. That day, we packed up all of her stuff and never let her go back.” —justtryingtopassthru
It’s so great that the family was there to support her.
High Standards
“Just that crazy look in his eyes when I didn’t do the dishes to his standards… like he was going to hurt me. I should have left then because I was right.” —loveydovette
Cheating While They’re Away On Tour
“When I was in Iraq and she posted a picture on Facebook of her and another guy laying in bed together, it was obvious that they had just hooked up. Don’t get married to fix relationships (life tip).” — Hiraethion
The fact that she would have the gall to just post it on Facebook means she obviously wanted you to see it. What an unbelievably cold way to try and get out of a relationship.
Gaslighting
“Not a year, but about 18 months. She was constantly complaining she didn’t have friends after moving in with me. Joined a local soccer team, and she talked about one teammate nonstop for months. I had a bad feeling about it from the get go but she assured me they were “just friends” and “how dare I not trust her.”
“Thought I was going crazy because my gut told me something wasn’t right but I was punishing myself for being a bad husband and not trusting my wife. Turned out it was all true, she had been f–king the teammate for months. Most likely f–ked someone else during our engagement. Split amicably officially as of last week without any mess, thank god.” —rythebowtieguy
Green-Eyed Monster
“She nearly killed me because she thought I was cheating from some texts that went to my mother.” —Hevaly_armed_proto
Presumably these were just texts making plans to get together and the odd “Love you!” and not anything even a little bit sexy.
Outdated Values
“Not me, but my cousin and her husband met at work. Both independent and career focused. When they got back from the honeymoon he immediately started treating her like his mum and told her she would need to give up work to look after the house. No talk of that before the wedding at all. I think they lasted 4 weeks married.” —munchingfoo
Oddly Common
“The day after the wedding when he poked me in the chest and said ‘you’re going to do what I say whether you like it or not ‘. Ugh. Big mistake.” —gardengarbage
If a man knows he needs to pretend to care about a woman’s wishes before marriage, why does he assume that in a world where divorce exists, he can just expect this after the “I Do”s.
Questionable Promotions
“A cousin of mine married someone who seemed like the perfect woman. They worked in the same store together, and he would brag about how his wife was getting promoted quickly in the company.
“A few months into the marriage, she tells him she’s going out with friends for the evening. An hour or so later, my cousin gets a call from one of his friends. The friend saw her having dinner in a restaurant… With the manager of the store that they both worked at. Once he confronted her about it, that was basically the end of the marriage.” —DeathSpiral321
Kind Of Happy Ending
“Not me, but my friends sister. Her sister got engaged 8 months into a relationship and got married 4 months later. Everything went well the first 5 months, but the husband started acting different. He wasn’t chatty, his good morning/goodnight kisses became dull, etc.
“Her sister would ask if everything was okay and he would say ‘I’m fine’ every time. […]
“One evening after eating dinner, the husband said he wanted to talk about their relationship. Before he could talk about it, he started crying. He cried for a few minutes and then told her he’s gay.
“The sister filed for divorce and after the divorce was settled, she wasn’t really mad at him anymore, so she went to see him and forgave him. They became good friends and the sister helped him become comfortable with his sexuality. She even helped him come out to his close friends and then to his family.” —kindatoastytoes
Powerful Words
“Day after we got engaged. He changed. Then he uninvited my family to the wedding- said they would take my attention away from him.
“We lasted three months, and then I ran and hid.
“To everyone who is asking ‘Then why did you marry him then?!?’ I totally get that question. Here is the answer:
“I felt worthless.
“So when you grow up feeling worthless, and a partner says ‘Yeah, you are worthless, and everyone can see that, but you know what? I will love you anyway.’ You jump on that sh*t like it’s the last living plant in a nuclear wasteland.
“I didn’t leave because I honestly believed it was either him or suicide. I left because he was killing me anyway and I decided it would be less painful to just die on my own. Then I lived.” —Babblewocky
Infidelity
“She went out for girls’ night and met a new friend named Nicole at a bar. Started texting her a lot, then going to hang out now and then. We had a baby at home and she kept trying to go hang out with this girl from another town over with no last name whom I was not allowed to meet. His real name was Wesley.” — NotTheMan378
Getting over something like this can be a long and hard road. It’s important to remember in these moments that not everyone is like this, and it is possible to trust again.
Reorganizing Closets
“Not me, but a friend of mine. They had been married about six weeks. She had just moved in when they returned from the honeymoon, and she was rearranging furniture, organizing closets, etc., one day while he was at work.
“She started pulling some of his boxes down from a closet shelf to make room for her things, and a box fell down accidentally, spilling hundreds of pictures of child porn. Divorced the pedo after reporting him to the military police (they were both in the military).” —California1234567
Hiding Who You Really Are
“Not me, but a cousin. Me and my family were at her wedding reception sitting outside on a deck. My cousin comes out to sit with us for a bit and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. Her first words were ‘please don’t tell him I smoke’.
“They moved to California a few weeks later and divorced within a week of being there. Should mention they were engaged before she got out of high school.” —32151134
The fact that you’re hiding things on your wedding day is not necessarily a good sign.
After Visiting The Doctors
“A couple of weeks into our marriage, the sex started to physically hurt. I went to my OB and after a test or two, she informed me I had contracted chlamydia. That’s when I knew. Turns out, my newlywed husband had been banging his coworker for months.” — GalacticPingvin
That is a horrific way to find out. I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to convince you that it had been “dormant” or some such nonsense.
