Many times in marriage and life, women feel that they carry a large set of responsibilities. When it comes to parenting, many things happen to fall on moms more so than dads. While many dads step up and help, moms seem to do a lot of the heavy lifting and labor when it comes to parenting.
Many moms believe they do about 80% of the parenting in the house.
According to surveys of families, over 80% of moms feel they do a lot of the work around the house, especially during the pandemic this past year.
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Some moms, however, feel like their husbands step up a lot.
Some moms and wives share that they have helpful husbands who are hands-on fathers, and people always respond that they are “so lucky” to have this type of partner.
Recently, one Facebook user spoke out against people who say these kind of statements to describe dads.
Blogger Laura Mazza posted a lengthy statement saying she wished people would stop telling women, “You are lucky to have a man who helps.”
She said that moms never have alone time and that they wear “10 hats”.
“Mothers are never left alone, they poop with an audience, they are busy every minute of the day and rarely have relief at night.
They are chefs, a cleaners, a maids, referees, appointment keepers, book keepers, accountants, taxi drivers, nurses. THEY ARE IT ALL.
And they are someone who carries it all, no matter how heavy. Including the mental load. Mothers are told to be grateful on their hardest days and told she will miss them so they are encouraged with guilt,” she wrote.
She said moms are always asked to put themselves last.
“On top of being a full time parent, she is expected to look good, bang on demand, be a vixen but be respectable, be dressed immaculately, have the pressure of children who behave perfectly. Work a job. Have friends and hobbies but not at the expense of her family. Put herself last and everyone first,” she continued.
Laura also said that it’s not “lucky,” it’s just “equal.”
“She is miraculous when she is carrying a baby in her womb but when she gives birth she is treated like she is a second-class citizen…
And yet without any praise to her, we tell her, oh you’re lucky to have a man who helps,
No. That doesn’t make her lucky. That makes her an equal in the relationship to have a man who appreciates her and does his fair share.
Her family is lucky to have someone who does it all for them. And she should be treated as such,” she added.
She said it’s time to step saying it’s “lucky” when a man steps up as an equal.
“Please stop telling mothers they are lucky to have men who are equal partners. Women deserve better than that and so do men. They aren’t uncaring or cold beings.
Dads are not babysitters, they’re not helpers, they’re parents.
Mothers are not machines, they aren’t robots. They matter, they deserve love and respect and a helluva lot more than, ‘you’re lucky he helps,'” she concluded.
Some people disagreed with Laura’s post.
Some women said that the women with a supporting and helping husband “are lucky,” because not everyone has that in their lives.
However, one person made a good point about the meaning of the post.
One commenter said it’s not that they aren’t lucky, it’s that the expectations of men should not be “so low” that when they do what they are supposed to do, it’s considered “lucky.”
What do you think of this?
