Jerks—you either know one, love one, or are one.
This is a jerk-shaming session, appendages out, high key, full offense.
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I’m not talking those big jerkish actions, I’m talking the little offenses committed by people who were “raised in a barn” as your mom would say. There is a certain baseline level of politeness that you have to exhibit in order to qualify for participation in society, okay? I didn’t just make these rules up.
The following people are about to be called the truck out. You know what I mean, kids.
Exit Strategy
You might be thinking to yourself, who in their right mind would park perfectly blocking a path to an emergency helicopter? This guy. This guy would.
Five Feet Apart
I just want to reach through my phone screen into this photograph and throw the trash away properly . I’m ashamed on behalf of all humanity.
Wrap God
Are you happy with the mess you’ve made, wrapper man? Are you proud of yourself?
Someone hold my purse. Mama’s gettin’ heated.
The Clean Up Song
Your kindergarten teacher did not work her butt off day and night just to have Kevin from Virginia and his high school buddies treat the public library like a dumping ground.
She taught you better than that, Kevin.
Park-our
I can’t stay on this photo for too long. It’s too infuriating. I don’t understand. I don’t want to understand.
Pumped Up Kicks
People pay to be at baseball games. People pay real money .
Linda LISTEN .
Air Bud
This fellow thought it would be cool fun and fresh to dispose of the garbage from his flight dinner in the plane aisle .
There’s this part in the song ‘I love you’ by Billie Eillish that’s like “I wish we’d never learned to fly” and you know what? I GET IT NOW.
Catch Up Time
This is what restaurant staff are forced to deal with on a daily basis. Tip your server. Tip your server well .
Light It Up
The middle of a crowded movie theater? Perfect time to crack open your brightly lit laptop and do some good ol’ web surfing. It’s not like we’re watching a movie or anything.
………
I would describe my facial expression to you right now, but you just know .
Shots Fired
Okay, yeah, let’s do target practice on an actual memorial to someone who has passed away. Don’t see anything wrong with that. Not at all. I love humans.
Swiper No Swiping
Stealing a single plant from someone’s garden is hella weird, but you have the nerve to steal twenty-nine ?
I repeat.
TWENTY. NINE. TWO DASH NINE. COMES BEFORE THIRTY. AFTER TWENTY EIGHT.
I am truly baffled.
Far From Home
This is fair, right? It’s not like there are cart areas specifically made to bring your cart back to, right?
R̴̯̠̀͌̾̆̾̏̏͑Ì̸̧͕̼̦̮͜G̷̛̛͕͊͆̊͂̆̓̈̔̕͠Ḧ̴̛͎̺̦͙̘̠͙̝̬̦́̊͂̆̎͗̆̄̉̉̒͜T̸̡̢̠̹͙̦̣͔̻̯̫̙͙̐̈͋̓̆̍͑̽̉͜?̸̢̧̜̜̝̳̼̣̗̼̯͓͚̜̽̒͠ͅ
Nice Gum Where Ya From?
I didn’t need to cross the street anyway. I’ll just go around. It’s not worth it. NOTHING IS ANYMORE .
Crapachino
Elizabeth, we’re enemies now. I hope you’re reading this. I hope you know that our relationship can never be repaired. I just can’t have that kind of toxicity in my life, Elizabeth.
Nice knowing you.
The Stakes Are High
I don’t even know what to say to these kinds of people anymore. Are you okay? Who hurt you? Who raised you? How do you live with yourself?
Ice Box
I’ll take my mixed drink warm actually. Thanks anyway. No really, it’s fine . I DON’T WANT THE ICE KAREN IT’S FINE. I’VE SEEN WHERE IT HAS BEEN.
Corn On The Knob
My mother never would have let me leave a movie theater like that. All of our mothers are collectively screaming. I’m screaming. We’re all screaming. Guys stop it’s getting a little loud.
CopierCat
I know that this person was just trying to make a point, but my lad, you very much missed the mark.
Proudfoot
Plane rides are already stressful enough without someone offering up their stompers for a free pedicure.
Shame. On. You.
Glass Half Full
I hope this kid steps on Legos next time he gets up for a glass of water in the middle of the night.
Yeah, I said it.
Video Killed The Radio Star
No no, it’s fine. I only go out to eat at fancy restaurants so that I can hear a child fall asleep to the blaring ear blood of a Donkey Kong game. Isn’t that why you go out?
Ah Nuts
Pick. Up. Your. Damn. Mess. In. Public. Places. Please. And. Thank. You.
Sinfluencer
This girl was repeatedly asked to stop climbing into the plant enclosures to take Instagram pictures, yet she continued to do it anyway. This is why I don’t go anywhere anymore.
Apple Sauce
Did I ever mention how much I don’t crave apple pie at this particular moment? Yeah, it’s like I’m allergic to it, similar to how I’m allergic to Walmart.
Petals On The Wind
Sure, just leave your mess of plastic flower petals all over the public park. That’s normal, rational, considerate behavior, right?
Not A Big Fan
When there’s only one fan in a crowded, hot waiting room, the considerate thing to do is obviously to keep it all to yourself and cool your cooch.
The Wheels On The Bus
Public transit itself isn’t that bad—it’s the people riding public transit who make the whole experience an actual living hell.
No Butting!
I can’t stand people who hope to get farther ahead in a line by standing on the outside, trying to get people to let them sneak ahead. Please, for the love of God, wait your turn .
Shake It Off
Apparently there was a woman on her phone in a restaurant while her kid did, um, that , to all the salt shakers.
I love birth control.
Lazy Boy
If you do this in the airport lobby, you have to sit in the isle during your flight.
Sorry, I don’t make the rules.
Hanger Games
Neighbors are overrated. Houses? Overrated. Human society? OVERRATED. I’m moving to the Swiss mountains to become a goat herder.
Ch Ch Ch Changes
Restaurants? Cancelled. Honestly, I’m done with eating out. You can’t trust anybody anymore.
Mama Bear
This is a very particular kind of person. You know her. Her name is Christie.
Scooter Gone
These people thought it would be an excellent idea to throw all of the company scooters into the lake.
SO FUNNY.
You’re covering the cost of that, right?
Tough Mudder
This is a public soccer field that the neighborhood puts their own money into in order to maintain, and someone decided to do donuts in their truck and ruin it for everyone .
Congrats.
Driver’s Ed
Cars are also cancelled apparently, since people can’t use common sense when driving them.
Breadwinner
This woman is kneeling on bread, so she can get a closer look at other bread.
Do people know that grocery stores aren’t just for them?
If It’s Yellow, Don’t Let It Mellow
Someone has been peeing in plastic bottles and throwing them in the trash can. In a bathroom .
Just…why?
Part Of The Band
This mom thought it was a good idea to sit this close to the band in order to film her kid. Not in the bleachers like a normal person, not even in an aisle, but right with the players.
I think this is the last straw for me. Jerks of the world, you win. Here’s a gold star.
“My husband is a jerk… Yes every cookie has a bite mark in it…”
Some men aren’t looking for anything logical. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
If You’re Gonna Park Like That, Expect Consequences!
I mean, I’d probably leave a passive-aggressive note on the windshield maybe. This, however, seems a little extreme!
Landlord’s Hidden Cameras
This guy’s landlord secretly installed a 360° wifi surveillance camera, which also records audio without telling their tenants.
Cue nervous looking around
Killing Innocent Horses
People, if you have a dog… CLEAN UP AFTER IT! It is not only damaging to animals, but it can be harmful to kids as well! Don’t be a d*ck!
A True Disappointment
I’ll let you decide whether you think that the present is the bigger disappointment, or child complaining about it.
The Reason Your Mail Is Late
As though people don’t have enough problems receiving mail! Then this “pratt” (I love that word) comes along and causes further delays for a parking spot!
The Worst Way To Tip
We’ve already established that tipping is very important, but dear God not this kind. These people work too hard for a poor political joke as a tip.
The Note This Person Left After Hitting Someone’s Car
Wow, you bring trashy to a new level, you’re just owning it. It’d be kind of impressive if it wasn’t so disgusting.
Wannabe Pandas
The person who took this explained that kids had cut down their grandparents’ bamboo garden, camped out in it, made panda signs, and then drilled holes in the bamboo that they didn’t cut down.
However, they posted an update comment explaining that their grandfather had caught the kids at a later date, and the kids never came back.
Critiquing A Shelter
Yes, some delightful person wrote this complaint on the back of a raffle ticket given out by an animal shelter that takes in strays and surrendered animals.
Please Keep Off The Dunes
Yep, what a great message to send to your children: The laws don’t apply to you so long as you post what you’re doing on social media.
Bears Can Be Jerks Too
See, it’s not only humans who can be jerks, animals can too! (Thought this would offer a bit of slight relief amongst the plethora of terrible people!)
Social Media Influencers: A National Crisis
Dear. Lord.
Whoever this person is, I sincerely hope that they got caught and had to clean this up. Oh, wait, this is the real world where people are as*holes, so that probably never happened.
Tattooing A Cat
This tattoo artist deserves to be charged with animal cruelty! Apparently the cat has received four tattoos and was drugged to allow the process to happen.
“The Way My Mum Opened These Chocolates!?”
Well, now they’re just going to go everywhere! Looks like you’re just going to have to eat them all in one sitting, what a shame.
I thought I’d leave you on a moderately humorous one, as looking through the rest of these has slowly eroded a lot of my faith in humanity! I think I need a good wholesome article after that!
Toy Story 5: The Massacre
I can’t even begin to explain all of the ways that this is genuinely not okay. I won’t even try. At this point, I’m tired.
