Families are always difficult to deal with, even when you have the best possible relationship with them. There are always going to be moments where there are opinions that divide people.
That’s certainly the case for the Reddit user who decided to tell her story, wondering if she or her husband was in the wrong.
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Families can be hard to navigate.
This is especially true when it comes to the grandparents and the parents disagreeing on something.
And boy, do we have a story to tell you about just that.
Recently, Reddit user Dopamean1408 asked whether she was in the wrong for asking her in-laws to respect her daughter’s boundaries.
“So today was Father’s Day where we live and we went to visit my in laws for the day.”
She continued:
“Originally my husband was going to let us (little one almost two year old daughter and me) take him to breakfast but last minute he decided he wanted to go visit his dad all day.”
She mentioned that her child tends to nap for a good half hour.
However, sometimes she can do it for longer.
But the plan was to go either before or after her little one took a nap since, without traffic, it would only take about 20 minutes to get to their destination.
“Husbands insists I do nap at his parents (I contact nap and nurse during nap).”
“I was hesitant because I have been super exhausted the last few days and I didn’t really think nap would happen. But I agreed. Sure enough LO did not nap.”
“We were there from 930AM-3:30. Without one single nap.”
“Around 3 I told my husband that we were exhausted and we were going to head out (we drove separately). He was cool with it. The visit was great for the most part.”
But what was tough was not the fact that her child didn’t nap.
“What was really tough was my in laws and their lack of ability to respect my daughters autonomy. They know not to force hugs and kisses.”
“I do have to remind them when they try to ask and LO says no.” she explained.
Which, for a lot of new parents this is normal, but for a lot of older people who are from a different generation, it can be hard to wrap their head around it.
The mom has told her daughter and others around her to suggest a high five instead, if she’s feeling comfortable.
She would say no to sitting on her grandfather’s lap, but he would do it anyway, and then she would slide off.
“MIL would then try to place her back and LO was clearly uncomfortable.”
“I finally said “MIL please don’t force my daughter to do things that she does not want to do. She can say no to sitting on grandpas lap.””
But as you can imagine by the tone of this story, this did not go over too well.
In fact, not only did both grandparents roll their eyes, but after the fact, her husband told her that she was completely in the wrong and that she has taught their daughter to disrespect her grandparents.
And the mom wanted to make it clear: this rule is with the whole family.
Which means that people shouldn’t take offence since it’s a rule that everyone has to follow.
“I respect my daughters autonomy with all family. Mine included.”
“The difference with my family is that once they see my daughter is uncomfortable or she says no my parents will say they respect whatever it is and remind her that they love her even when she says no.”
“So it’s a non issue with my parents.” she finished.
For the most part, in the comments people were on her side.
“He’s wrong. What you are teaching her is that she has body autonomy. She has the right to say “No” and have that no be respected.” one person commented .
Now, we want to hear from you.
What do you think about the situation? /Who do you think is in the right and the wrong?
Let us know down below in the comment section. We would love to hear from you!
