32 year-old black woman, married to her 34 year-old white husband for 6 years, has had to endure her mother-in-law’s racially charged comments. Her mother-in-law, Lisa, has made sly comments about her hair and physical features, and even expressed disappointment when her daughter was born with brown eyes. This all came to a head at a party, when Lisa introduced her as her “black daughter-in-law” and the pent up anger erupted into an unexpected outburst. How will things resolve between them? Read on to find out more and get comments and reactions from our readers.
A 32-year-old woman’s 6-year marriage is tested when her mother-in-law makes racially charged comments about her “nappy” hair.
Lisa’s MIL sparked an unexpected outburst with her racially charged comments, despite claiming she wasn’t racist.
My son’s physical features sparked a racially charged comment from my mother-in-law, leaving me questioning her views!
A 56-year-old mother-in-law sparks an unexpected outburst with her racially charged comments at her son’s anniversary party
Unexpected outburst after mother-in-law’s racially charged comments. “You people are so sensitive”
Anger erupted after mother-in-law’s racially charged comments, leading to an unexpected outburst
Commotion erupts after mother-in-law’s “racially charged” remarks
Family tensions escalate after a mother-in-law’s racially charged comments lead to an unexpected outburst
A racially charged comment sparks an unexpected outburst
NTA: We don’t apologize to racists.
The comment expresses that the original poster (OP) should not apologize to their racist mother-in-law. Several replies suggest that the OP’s husband is being complicit by downplaying the harm in what his mother has said and should understand that it is his job to be an anti-racist ally. They also suggest the OP reconsider their marriage.”
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MIL’s racism sparks
The comment suggested that the MIL is a racist a**hole, but the biggest a**hole is the husband for not standing up for the OP and allowing the racism. The replies further urged the OP to act quickly and decisively to protect her children from the MIL’s racism.
MIL’s racism sparks outrage!
Holy sh*t, the OP is NTA! The MIL is 56 and has no excuse for her racism – it’s not a product of her time. The comment replies also agree that age is no excuse for racism and that the OP should never apologize for her MIL’s racism.
Tackling racism with humor
The comment suggested introducing the mother-in-law as a “racist mother-in-law” matter-of-factly, which other users found hilarious and agreed with. One user even commented “100% here for this comment”, while another added “Startled the baby laughing at this “.
MIL’s racist attitudes ♀️ NTA
The commenter asserts that the MIL is not a ‘product of her time’ as her husband suggested, but is simply racist and has had plenty of time to catch up. Replies point out that the MIL knows she is racist and should not be enabled, while others emphasize that the MIL is a product of her upbringing, not her generation. Everyone agrees that the MIL is NTA.
Mother-in-law’s racism
The section comment is about a mother-in-law who made a racist comment insinuating that her son married an “angry black woman”. Replies to the comment were outraged at the mother-in-law’s behavior and encouraged the poster to “block and delete her” and to “ditch the son and the mother”. No one in the comment section defended the mother-in-law’s racism.
Weak Husband, Strong Words
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The commenter didn’t read the article but assumed the mother-in-law was being a “racist b*tch”. After reading the article, they suggested the OP take away their Black children to protect their sense of self from the people around them. NTA.
Calling out racism
The comment condemns a mother-in-law for her racially charged comments and tags her as a racist. A reply encourages her to learn and do better, and be nice to someone her son loves.
Husband’s lack of support
The commenter calls out the mother-in-law for being racist, noting that she is not too old to understand her actions. They also point out that the husband’s lack of support in the situation is not okay.
Standing up against racism
The commenter is calling out the mother-in-law’s racially charged comments and standing up for the husband and their children, declaring that she is NTA (not the a**hole) and the defense of her being a “product of her time” is a bunch of b–llshit.
NTA! 56-yr-old woman calls out a**hole MIL
The 56-year-old woman commented that the mother-in-law’s behavior is unacceptable and there is never a suitable excuse for it. She also added that the husband should have the wife’s back. In the replies, the 55-year-old agrees and says that the MIL is not a product of her generation. They also discuss why the MIL wasn’t asked what she said, and why the husband didn’t stand up for his wife.
Mother-in-law’s shocking behavior
The comment suggests that the mother-in-law purposely put the commenter in a bad spot to make them look bad no matter what they did. The comment recommends counseling for the couple and that the mother-in-law should not be allowed to other the children. The reply agrees and says that the mother-in-law manipulated the situation to lure the commenter into the “angry black woman” role.”
Get out now
The comment suggests that there are many red flags from the mother-in-law, husband, and party guests, and encourages the reader to “get out now” and “get your children away from that toxic situation.”
NTA: Racism should be called out!
The commenter is not the a-hole and is calling out the mother-in-law for her racially charged comments. They suggest marriage counseling and apologize for not realizing the racist connotations of the phrase ‘call a spade a spade’.
NTA: Racism won’t fly!
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The commenter argues that the mother-in-law is not excused by her age, as she is a “racist” and that the husband is potentially also “racist” or “ok with them”. The reply affirms this, with the husband being 57 and not making “racist a**hole remarks”.
MIL’s racist comments spark outrage
The commenter is NTA and had an unexpected outburst after MIL’s comments about ‘nappy hair’ and ‘you people’. The commenter also expresses disappointment that their husband did not stand up for them, and hopes for two apologies. A reply agrees that MIL’s ‘you people’ remark is inexcusable.
MIL is jealous and insecure
NTA. The commenter suggests that the Mother-in-Law’s racism might stem from jealousy and insecurity, and recommends no contact or low contact with her. One reply reveals that the Mother-in-Law was previously sexist and only nice to the commenter before marriage. “We women ought to listen to our husbands,” she said.
Standing up against racism
NTA – the original poster should not feel bad for standing up against their mother-in-law’s racially charged comments. Replies confirm that this is a red flag, and the OP deserves better.
Escape an unhealthy family ✋
The comment suggests NTA (not the a**hole) – take the children and leave the family due to the husband not sticking up for the commenter.
NTA! Your MIL is a racist b**ch
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/46b3d0fc-0ce8-4ff0-ad7d-71b61f6a8cf7.png)
The comment states that the mother-in-law is a racist b**ch, and that the husband is spineless for allowing her to attack the comment author in their own home. It also expresses anger at the people at the party who were mad at the author for defending themselves.
Cutting ties with racism
The commenter is not the a-hole and is offended by the mother-in-law’s comment. They explain that racism is a choice and that racists do not deserve any of their time or energy. They suggest that the bigger problem is the husband, the racist apologist, and that the commenter should consider cutting ties with him if he can’t cut out the racism.
NTA: Talk to your husband
The comment suggests that NTA (not the a**hole) and the poster should have a long talk with their spouse about their mother-in-law’s racially charged comments. Furthermore, the poster questions how their spouse can be married to a person of color (POC) and not understand or accept their point of view. The comment reflects the struggles of the poster, an Asian American, in their relationships.
NTA: ♀️ Husband’s spinelessness
Commenter labels husband as spineless for not confronting his mother’s racism. No replies found.
NTA: Racism won’t go away
Commenter said they were not the a-hole (NTA) and that racism won’t go away. Product of her time is not an excuse and there might be a solution to the problem without splitting up, but it doesn’t sound like it will be easy.
Take the children and ✨run✨ ♀️
The comment advises the poster to not negotiate with their racist mother-in-law and to get a divorce from their husband, who is a passive racist. It further encourages the poster to take their children and run in order to protect them from their a-hole mother-in-law’s toxic environment.
A bigger problem looms…
The commenter believes the OP’s husband needs to support her, or the relationship will end. They suggest therapy as a controlled environment to work things out.
NTA: MIL is racist
The comment author is not the a**hole (NTA) and emphasizes that the mother-in-law is racist, but also highlights that the husband’s dismissive attitude should also be addressed.
Can we unlearn prejudice?
Commenter questions why their mother-in-law’s racist beliefs can’t be unlearned, considering that she has the ability to learn how to use contemporary technology like cell phones, Netflix, and Facebook.
A spineless son and a dreadful woman
The comment describes how the author’s parents, who are also products of their times, would never say what the mother-in-law said, criticizing her as “dreadful” and describing her son as “spineless”. NTA was mentioned, indicating the comment was not the a**hole in the situation.
NTA: Respect is the baseline!
The comment suggests that the couple should take counseling or divorce since the mother-in-law’s “racially charged comments” were not okay. The comment also states that when someone marries someone of another race, respect is the baseline, and the couple should show a united front in cutting out the disrespect. The comment ends with the suggestion that the mother-in-law would have “caught hands” at the disrespectful comment.
Grandma’s racist words
NTA when my parents were getting married, my white grandma born and raised in Georgia since 1926 said “so y’all are gonna have n***** babies?” Growing up with her was awful as she would pit my sister against me because she was lighter skin. She said something “why don’t you tan golden like your sister? We gotta keep you out of the sun so you don’t look like a little black girl”. It is best to keep the MIL away from the kids if she can’t keep her racist comments to herself.
A husband’s silent acceptance of his mother’s racism
The comment is about a mother-in-law’s racially charged comments that sparked an unexpected outburst. The comment states that the husband’s silent acceptance of his mother’s racism is unacceptable, and she should have never referred to her daughter-in-law’s hair as “nappy”. The writer is offended for the daughter-in-law and wonders why the husband’s mother’s feelings are more important than her own.
NTA: testing boundaries ✋
The comment is in agreement with the situation that the mother-in-law tested the boundaries of the commenter and ruined the relationship with them. The commenter suggests that the husband should join them in couple’s therapy to have any hope of a decent marriage.
❗️Leave them be!❗️
The comment advised to leave the man alone, as the commenter declared ‘NTA’ (not the a**hole). No replies were found.
NTA: Calling a when you see it
The comment affirms that the commenter is Not The A-hole and the OP was right to call out the mother-in-law’s racially charged comments. The commenter apologizes for not knowing that the term ‘spade’ can be offensive.
Cut that person out!
The comment advises to cut the person out of life due to their racially charged comments. No replies were found.
What did the wife know?!
The comment questions why a black woman would marry and have children with a man who wouldn’t defend her against his mother’s racism. It also questions why she knowingly brought this situation and her children into her life when she was aware of her in-laws’ behavior.
Black woman’s experience with racist in-laws
A black woman whose partner is white shares her experience with her in-laws being racism. She discusses her expectations of her partner standing up against racism and putting her and her children first. She states that if he doesn’t, she would leave as she would die on this hill.
NTA: Don’t Apologize!
The commenter declared NTA (Not The A**hole) and advised against apologizing for the mother-in-law’s racially charged comments.
Escape from racism ♀️
Commenter suggests that the OP should flee from the mother-in-law’s “anti-Black” environment, as her husband’s downplaying of the racist behavior and blaming of the OP is “VERY concerning.”
Time won’t excuse racism
The commenter NTA (not the a**hole) believes that the mother-in-law’s excuse of being a ‘product of her time’ doesn’t hold up, even if she was born in 1966. The reply adds that the commenter’s 95-year-old grandmother ‘knows better than that.’
NTA: Truth hurts
The comment condemns the mother-in-law’s racially charged comments and labels them as “racist bs”, calling the commenter a Not The A**hole (NTA). No replies found.
