There are basically two ways you can go when you decide to go for the ol’ snip trip: treating your crotch with a bag of frozen peas and your soul with a pint of ice cream, or having a party for your lost boys.
Well, the lost function of your boys, anyway.
This couple seems to understand that having a sense of humor in life makes it a helluva lot easier! So they went for the option that’s a heck of a lot more fun.
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Kimberly Hemperly and her husband have decided that two kids is just right for them, so her husband scheduled a vasectomy.
I guess they didn’t want to have to make the switch from playing man-to-man to zone defense around the house, which seems wise.
And stopping your family’s growth is as important a decision as starting it in the first place.
There are lots of opinions about ideal family size and how to go about deciding that, but ultimately, you need to do what makes you happy.
You have to know what you want in life!
So, what do you do when you decide to join Team No-More-Kids?
Well, Kimberly decided to throw a party to make the occasion memorable — and probably to keep her husband’s mind occupied before his impending visit to the chopping block.
Kimberly had already had two C-sections, so it was her husband’s turn to go under the knife.
It’s really a no-brainer when you compare what goes into a vasectomy compared to getting your tubes tied.
It’s also safer , cheaper, and has a much shorter recovery time.
Plus, it’s reversible, allowing parents to change their mind later.
“He’s very selfless in that way,” Kimberly told Babble . “Very compassionate and caring. We couldn’t be happier with our family life.”
Rather than get all sad about the affair, Kimberly had a nice, cheeky theme for her party in mind: saying “Balls Voyage” as her husband’s fertility sailed away forever.
Between the snacks and the decorations, Kimberly didn’t miss a beat when she put together the pun-heavy party.
When it comes to party-planning, she’s got this one down pat.
Seriously, check out some of her creations and if you’ve got a guy getting the snip soon, consider taking some inspiration.
The “Balls-Voyage” theme was carried through in every detail.
She got the Milk Duds, the Tender Beef Jerky, the bananas, the jelly beans, and even some gourmet seeds. And for the, um, after-party, there was a protective cup and a surgical glove packed with frozen peas. There was even a bowl of sausages and meatballs.
The crowning glory was a cake bidding farewell to her husband’s potency.
Complete with a tombstone dedicated to the memory of her husband’s sperm — just the thing to take a bit of the sting out of the occasion.
And what party would be complete without some party favors to remember the occasion?
So Kimberly had some shirts made up: a “Swim Team Survivor” shirt for each of the kids, featuring the year of their birth as well, and “Time To Retire The Swim Team” for Dad.
Kimberly posted about the party on Facebook, signing off with “Omg y’all nobody is more excited about this than me. #teamnomorebabies #snipsniphooray #recreationaluseonly”
No surprise, her post went viral, racking up more than 50,000 shares and a ton of belly laughs.
