There have been times when I have lamented having a boring, short, un-adventurous name. I always wanted more syllables. But after seeing how having a name that’s not so boring has played out for others, I think I’m okay with flying under the radar.
After all, it’s not what your name is as much as what you do with it. I mean, I have the same number of syllables in my name as John Wayne, and he did just fine. Mind you, you have to wonder if he would have been able to do as well with his birth name, Marion, don’t you?
Harping on expecting mothers seldom goes well, and for one family, things seem to have gone rotten over the proposed baby name.
The mother even went to the length of canceling the baby shower after all the grief her family gave her over the name she intends to give her son. It all went down in an epic rant on Facebook, later shared on Reddit , that is going viral.
“Y’all have been talking s*** about my unborn child. AN UNBORN CHILD. How can you judge an unborn child?? What is wrong with you??” she wrote.
“To say this frankly, my friends and family have treated me like total s***. They’ve spread rumors and lies about my child. No, I am not crazy. No, I am not mentally unstable. No, I was not drunk when I named my child.”
What name could possibly be so contentious as to shut down relations between family members?
Well, it’s definitely one you’ll remember: Squire Sebastian Senator. If that sounds a little odd, wait until you hear the rules she has regarding the name.
“No, this is not his full name. ‘Squire Sebastian Senator’ is only his first name. This is how it will be.”
“He will not be allowed to have a nickname, he is to be called by his full and complete first name.”
So, if I understand correctly, this mother is planning on shouting into the street, “Squire Sebastian Senator, time for dinner!” Okay then.
Explaining where the inspiration for the name came from, she wrote that, “We come from a long lasting family of both squires and senators.”
“If you look back in our family tree, the survival of this clan is literally rooted in squiredom. We are all related to senators, too. This name conveys power. It conveys wealth. It conveys success.”
“My baby’s name WILL be a revolution,” she continued. “It will push people to question everything.”
“Why name your baby boring and over-used names like Joshua, Brian, Sam, Nick, Mark, Bella, Marina, etc….whey you can name it something special. Squire Sebastian Senator will live a powerful, wholesome life. His confidence will not diminish simply because his name is out of the ordinary. Instead, he will be extraordinary.”
“Squire Sebastian Senator will live a powerful, wholesome life.”
“His confidence will not diminish simply because his name is out of the ordinary. Instead, he will be extraordinary.”
That’s, um, quite the speech.
On Reddit, it became quite apparent that most people sided with the mother’s family rather than her.
“I’ll say the same thing I tell any friend who gets pregnant: before you settle on a name, imagine growing up with it yourself,” wrote one Reddit user.
As many pointed out, growing up with that kind of unusual, non-boring name will likely be challenging.
“‘Why name your child something boring,’ because I’d like to not damn my unborn kid to school bullying and his job applications going right into the trash,” wrote another Reddit user.
A third replied that “This could be the first ever child to run away from home before he’s born.”
A third replied that “This could be the first ever child to run away from home before he’s born.”
And many, many went out of their way to point out that it wasn’t the unborn child being disrespected by the family, but the mother.
One even pointed out that the poor kid will miss out on some timeless memento opportunities.
“This kid is never going to find those tchotchkes with his name on it,” they wrote, and it’s a good point. At best, the parents will have to shell out some extra cash for custom merch if the kid wants to have their name on it.
It went on like that for a few thousand comments — you get the gist of it.
It’s like the ABCDE thing all over again, in the ongoing debate over what parents should and shouldn’t name their kids.
Should they be allowed to have some creativity with their kids? Or is straying too far from the “norm” a bad idea? Where do you even draw the line?
So here’s my question: Should parents be allowed to have some creativity when naming their kids?
Or is straying too far from the “norm” a bad idea? It’s possible to give a child a unique name without going completely off the map, naming your kid something like “Apple” or “North” or “Squire Sebastian Senator.” But where do you draw the line?
