When it comes to parenting, it’s never a day at the beach. This is especially true in the beginning when you’re planning for a family. Couples are constantly bickering over things, small and large, and oftentimes disagree over a lot. But, at the end of the day, they try to see eye-to-eye for the sake of their kids and their family.
A mother wrote on Reddit asking for advice about an issue she’s having with her husband
The expecting mom wrote into the popular AITA thread for some parenting advice. She shared that she and her husband are expecting triplets, which is great for them as they’ve had some issues with conceiving in the past.
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The couple struggled with having children
As it turns out, they got lucky. The two already have a daughter and they just found out that they are expecting triplets, too. How exciting that their dream of having four children came true!
They decided to do a gender reveal on Zoom for their family
As these times were tough and everyone was staying home, they invited their friends and family for the gender reveal.
“Baby A was a girl, and my husband and I were both super excited. Baby B was also a girl, and we were still beaming about it. Baby C is another girl, and we were both really excited about it,” the mom said in her post.
However, after the Zoom meeting ended, her husband changed his tune
The mom wrote: “He said, ‘I just wish you’d given me one boy, so I could do stuff with him.’ I told him, ‘You can do stuff with your daughters, too.’ He replied, ‘No, the girls will only want to play dress-up. I wish you gave me one boy instead of three girls.’”
Clearly, she was furious over this
She added: “He’d rather give up our three girls for one boy, even with him knowing how difficult it was for us to have any children at all. I yelled at him and told him he didn’t deserve a boy if it meant he’d ignore his girls.”
The Reddit user realized she only wanted her mother in the delivery room
“Yesterday, I was on the phone with my mom, and she brought up how excited she was for the triplets to arrive, and she asked if I wanted her in the room when I was giving birth, or if I wanted her to stay in the waiting room. I told her she’s the only person I want in the room with me,” the mom said in her post.
Her husband was hurt by this, but the mom was standing her ground
She added: “My husband was extremely hurt by this, and asked why. I told him that if he can’t appreciate his daughters, he has no right to be there when they’re born.”
At the time of posting her story, this mom was sure she wouldn’t change her mind
Although she says her husband apologized, she said her decision is final.
“I’m not changing my stance on this one, he will not be in the delivery room. He thinks I’m being unreasonable because I’m not letting him see his daughters being born. I think it’s my choice who’s in that room, and I don’t want him in there after he said he’d trade our girls for a son,” the mom said.
On Reddit, many users sided with the mom
Quite a few comments pointed out that it’s actually the chromosome in men’s sperm that determines the sex of a baby.
“Got a surprise for your hubby. Men determine the sex of a baby depending on whether their sperm is carrying an X or Y chromosome,” one user commented.
Many Reddit users said the husband was absolutely in the wrong
One person wrote: “What a horrible, sexist thing for him to say. I hope your older daughter didn’t hear it. At least it sounds like he is being taught a lesson from everyone else’s reactions to his behaviour.”
The user continued, saying: “You have every right to choose who is in the delivery room, he doesn’t have the right to be there at all. He had the privilege of being invited and he forfeited it through his appalling attitude.”
However, other Reddit users were understanding of the “gender disappointment”
Many parents say that it’s normal to experience this, especially after having one child already.
One Reddit user shared it isn’t a “male-only thing” either, saying: “Yeah, this isn’t a male-only thing. My sister was devastated when she found out she was having a girl because she was always a bit of a tom-boy herself and wanted a boy. Preferences aren’t a single-gendered thing at all.”
After the story went viral, someone said that the husband also wrote the same story on Reddit
The mom edited her post and shared the information in the original thread.
“Someone in the comments said that my husband also wrote a post in this subreddit. So, I read it, and found multiple untrue things. Firstly, I’ve miscarried once, not three times. It was the hardest thing on both of us, and I’m sure he would never get that wrong, because it was devastating to lose our baby. Secondly, although he wants a boy to do ‘boy things’ with, he hates fishing. He likes camping, WITH MY DAUGHTER,” the mom said in an update.
Her husband denied writing the post
The information was incorrect and her husband had no idea that it was even shared online. Additionally, the situation happened to bring the couple closer, so the mom believed her husband didn’t have anything to do with it.
Turns out, it was the mom’s brother who wrote the opposing Reddit post
She shared: “I know this is really close to the last edit, so I’ll make it quick. It was my brother who wrote the post.”
She continued, saying: “I talked to him in a moment of anger, right after what my husband said. I told him I was going to make a Reddit post about this, and he apparently made one too.”
Her entire family is now not speaking to her brother
She said she’s angry, and her family is, too.
“My entire family is furious with my brother, including me. He told me he was trying to make the internet agree with me, but I’ve decided I’m cutting contact with him. I know it’s an impulse choice, but I don’t think he can apologize enough for what he said about my husband,” the mom wrote.
On the bright side, the entire Reddit situation has brought the couple closer again
Her husband broke down crying and apologized.
“He apologized and said it was not right of him to blame me for their gender […] He said that, although it would be nice to have a boy, he loves our current daughter more than anything else, and he’s going to do the same once our triplets are born,” the mom wrote.
She also apologized for threatening to keep him out of the delivery room, too
“I apologized for my threat to keep him out of the room, because that would only keep him farther from our daughters. It was also inconsiderate of me to post this on Reddit instead of talking to him because we’re both stressed right now,” she said.
The mom has decided to change her decision, too
She said she does want him to be there for the birth of their triplets.
“As of now, I want my husband to be there for their birth. I know he’ll be supportive of me during the C-section, and I want him there. (Our daughter was born without a C-section, so I’m really worried about a C-section.”
She expressed her discomfort with C-sections, saying: “I’m not comfortable with the idea of someone cutting me open, especially after my mom said she felt the entire procedure.) I’m really nervous, and glad my husband will be there with me,” she said.
All in all, this is a happy ending to this story
While there may be situations where we want outside advice, it isn’t always smart to ask people online — or even our own family. You never know what can be said about you and what can be posted online.
Here’s to hoping that they mend things with her brother
While he wrote some not-so-nice things in the other Reddit post, I hope that they can find it within the family to make up and make amends.
