When it comes to family members, everyone has a different opinion about what helps build a good and healthy relationship. Some people advise cutting ties with your folks as soon as they show signs of narcissism or start disrespecting your boundaries . Others, think prioritizing the parents or grandparents is completely acceptable as long as you can maintain a respectable connection. But above all this, you still have to listen to your instincts. A Reddit user had a tough decision to make when she found out that her mother-in-law had secretly installed a camera in the bedroom where her husband was staying post-accident.
The woman thought she was doing the right thing by keeping an eye on her injured son. However, this is also where her boundaries began. After confronting her, the woman made clear how much she was not okay with this violation of privacy, so all the in-family drama that followed is something she had to endure. Below, you can read the full story that made many commenters wonder who was in the wrong, and let us know what you would have decided in this scenario in the comments!
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A MIL’s worrying goes too far when she surreptitiously installs a camera in her daughter-in-law’s bedroom
Worried about her son’s health and living conditions following his car accident, a mother-in-law takes her worrying to a whole new level by installing a camera in her daughter-in-law’s bedroom. Unbeknownst to the daughter-in-law, the MIL monitors her behavior and calls her out on her perceived shortcomings.
Unhappy with her MIL’s breach of privacy and feeling wrongly accused, the daughter-in-law asserts her right to privacy. Now, the family is divided. This sparked a debate between the daughter-in-law and the family. Is the daughter-in-law being too vindictive and unreasonable or did the MIL cross a line? Let’s have a look at the reactions and comments of netizens on the matter.
NTA. Report it to
OP’s MIL secretly installed a camera in the bedroom to monitor her adult daughter-in-law’s care of her son. All the replies advise OP to report the incident to the police and consider divorcing the husband if he cannot take a stand against his mother.
NTA: Leave this crazy family! ♂️
The comment and the replies suggest that NTA (Not the a**hole) is the correct answer – the husband should move out and the MIL should be arrested for secretly installing a camera in the bedroom. The comment and its replies also point out that the husband is making unreasonable demands and blame on the OP, and as a result, it’s suggested that the OP leave this crazy family as soon as possible.
NTA Jesus takes action!
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/204f52fc-f137-4a04-9edd-0bf661feda55.png)
The comment suggests taking charge and changing the WiFi password to safeguard the daughter-in-law’s autonomy and privacy, as the mother-in-law has installed a camera in the bedroom without her knowledge. Replies suggest changing the password might be an effective solution to the issue.
No better than MIL ♀️
The original comment says NTA (not the a**hole) because the husband asked for a divorce. The comment suggests that the adult daughter-in-law should let him stay married to his mother. Replies to the comment agree with the idea and suggest that the adult daughter-in-law should get a lawyer and file a police report against the mother-in-law.
NTA: let the son move out
The poster’s comment suggests letting the son move out, which will solve the problem. Comment replies agree with the poster, pointing out that the mother-in-law might be using the poster as a free caregiver. They suggest the poster should let the son move out to set herself free and ensure her own safety.*
The OP’s MIL ✔️has crossed a line!
The commenter is NTA, advising the OP to take their son away from the MIL and take legal action. The OP expresses their fear of backlash and potential guilt, while the other reply affirms the first one’s opinion.
MIL secretly spied
NTA – WTF. MIL had no right to snoop around. The comment made by the original poster is full of rage, and the replies reveal a feeling of fear as MIL had been monitoring the bedroom activities of her adult daughter-in-law for weeks.
MIL installs camera without consent
The MIL secretly installed a camera in the bedroom without her adult daughter-in-law and husband’s consent, which is illegal. MIL should have offered to help instead of giving orders and invading the couple’s privacy.
NTA: Husband should stay with MIL if he wants!
The comment agrees that the husband should stay with his mother-in-law while he recovers and that the family can discuss what the mother-in-law is doing wrong while visiting. Replies suggest that this is an ideal solution and that the husband should be mad if a spy cam has been installed.
NTA – Let him move in
The comment is suggesting the mother-in-law (MIL) is not the a**hole (NTA) for letting her adult son move in with her daughter-in-law as her son has demonstrated his priorities with his feelings towards his mother.
Don’t tolerate abuse!
The comment suggests that the husband should take action against his mother for her wrongdoings. It implies that if he does not take the necessary steps, it could indicate how much he values his relationship with the daughter-in-law.
NTA: MIL crosses !
The comment is in agreement with the user that MIL’s behavior is wrong and illegal. The replies suggest that the user should stand their ground and take control of the situation, and let go of the husband if he is still attached to MIL’s ‘tit’.
♀️Don’t let your MIL threaten you! ♀️
The commenter suggests that the original poster should call back whoever said the camera was ok and ask what time works to drop it off. The commenter also encourages the original poster to block all the numbers except SIL and enjoy the silence of the home. The replies to the comment support the suggestion.
Grandparents aren’t tech illiterate ❗️
The comment suggests that the OP’s MIL is not tech illiterate and has the skills to install the camera that went unnoticed. It also states that the adult son knew about the camera the whole time and that he is a mama’s boy for not telling the OP. Replies point out that the husband is likely complicit in letting his mother invade the privacy of his wife. No a**hole here.
MIL Overstepping
The comment states that the MIL is guilty of illegal wiretapping and wonders if the husband consented. The comment goes on to say that the MIL has a tendency to be overbearing and kowtow to her whims at the expense of her son. It also acknowledges that this dynamic was made painfully obvious due to a tragic event that happened recently.
NTA: Time to reflect
The comment suggests that the MIL is not the a**hole and suggests that the mama’s boy needs to move out and use this time to reflect on the relationship and whether he wants to stay with that kind of partner.
MIL installs a camera ️ and MIL’s own medicine follows
The commenter suggested NTA (not the a**hole) that the MIL moves her husband to his mother so that his mother can look after him and experience how it feels to be treated the same way. A reply suggested even better, sending a nanny cam Teddy or 100 of them so that they can’t be removed easily.
Protecting boundaries❗️
The commenter expresses shock at the MIL’s invasion of privacy, noting that her husband should be an adult and should move in with his mom if he is okay with the infantilizing effect. They call out the MIL for crossing boundaries and being inappropriate.
NTA ❤️ Invasion of privacy!
The commenter finds it unacceptable and an invasion of privacy for MIL to install cameras in her daughter-in-law’s bedroom to monitor her care of her son. The commenter suggests the son should be sent over to his mother’s place, as this dynamic is not healthy and the daughter-in-law might have no privacy in her bedroom since there are recordings of her changing.
Divorce MIL’s son so he can be with her ♀️
NTA – The commenter suggests divorcing MIL’s son so he can be with her, with a hint of sarcasm.
NTA: ️
Commenter says the MIL’s behavior is not the a**hole here because it could possibly be legal if the son allowed it due to being bedridden. Other commenter agrees that the son may have allowed it.
“NTA – Ban her!”
The comment argues that MIL’s intrusive behavior is unacceptable and recommends a course of action, such as banning her from their house and helping their 33-year-old son pack if he is faced with an ultimatum. This sentiment of protecting the family from MIL’s unacceptable intrusion is shared by the commenter.
NTA: Go to the police
The commenter advised the daughter-in-law to take her case to the police as they are not the a**hole for the MIL’s behavior.
NTA – MIL and husband both at fault
The section comment states that NTA (not the a**hole) but the mother-in-law’s behavior is unacceptable and her husband should move in with his mother if he respects it.
Mom-in-law goes too far
The comment states that the MIL installing a camera is illegal and f**ked up, and the replies suggest that the husband is being a complete mama’s boy and should be sent to his mom’s to learn a lesson. Op is being subjected to ungrateful treatment from both.
MIL’s spying Husband’s silence
The commenter declares NTA, noting that both the MIL and the husband are equally at fault, suggesting that the husband should pack his bags and get out.
MIL crosses the line!
The commenter expresses shock and indignation at the news that MIL has installed a camera in her daughter-in-law’s bedroom to monitor her care of her son. The commenter states that MIL is the a**hole here.
The MIL takes measures
The original commenter suggested that the MIL should let her son move in with her adult daughter-in-law in order to monitor the care of her son, with the commenter stating that the MIL is not the a**hole (NTA).
MIL spies on daughter-in-law
The commenter believes MIL is not the a**hole and questions whether the father was aware of the camera.
MIL takes it too far!
The commenter pointed out that the daughter-in-law is Not The A**hole in this situation, and if her husband doesn’t see the problem with his mother’s behavior, he should move in with his mother and never come back. Overall, it is suggested that the daughter-in-law is better off without both of them.
MIL goes too far
The commenter expresses shock that the MIL is taking her monitoring of her adult daughter-in-law’s care of her son to the extreme and is not the a**hole in this situation.
♀️ Mom-in-law’s *illegal* move!
Commenters are outraged about the Mom-in-law secretly installing a camera to monitor her adult daughter-in-law’s care of her son, with many recommending calling the police!
Family drama ♀️
The commenter denounced MIL’s behavior as controlling and a**hole-ish, suggesting that the husband should move in with his mother.
Family drama
The comment argues that the MIL is wrong for secretly installing a camera to monitor her adult daughter-in-law, and suggests that the husband move back in with her mother and the OP consider if she wants to be a part of the family anymore. The comment also notes that the family’s anger is directed at the OP rather than trying to resolve the problem with their words.*
NTA: Let him move in!
The comment suggests that the MIL should allow her son to move in with his adult daughter-in-law temporarily so she can see how difficult it is to take care of him. It’s suggested the son would be back in a week if the MIL wants him.
NTA. Wondering if MIL gave permission?
The commenter declared NTA and expressed shock that MIL would install a camera in the bedroom to monitor her adult daughter-in-law’s care of her son. They then suggested that they would have mooned MIL if they were in the same situation, wondering if MIL had given her permission to do this.
NTA. Mom and son reunited!
The commenter identifies the situation as not the a**hole and is pleased that the mother and son are able to reunite in a new home environment.
Mommy’s not the a**hole
The original comment states that MIL should let her son move in with her, as he wants to be taken care of by his mother. MIL should not be held responsible for this decision as she is not the a**hole.
NTA✋️Protect your son!
The commentator suggested that the MIL should report her actions and remove her son from her care to protect him from any further mistreatment. They also inquired about the son’s well-being, asking if he was suffering any physical harm.
No a**hole here!
The commenter suggested sending the son to stay with his mother, and for the MIL and adult daughter-in-law to take a vacation.
NTA She’s lucky!
The commenter is emphatic that the MIL was NTA (not the a**hole) for secretly installing a camera in the bedroom to monitor her daughter-in-law’s care of her son. They suggest that the MIL should not be guilt-tripped into backing down and should run far away from these people.
MIL secretly installs camera in bedroom ️ to spy on adult daughter-in-law ♀️
NTA. The poster has the right to privacy in their bedroom and should start packing their son’s stuff to bring him to his mommy. The poster should also tell relatives to stay out of their business and that their objections are just as valid as theirs. After reading the poster’s other post, it is time to cut their losses and move on from this toxic man and his toxic family.
MIL secretly spying on son!
NAH, the MIL was wrong for secretly installing a camera in the bedroom to monitor her adult daughter-in-law’s care of her son. The daughter-in-law should tell her husband that she’s uncomfortable and the temporary ban on MIL should be implemented as MIL’s act is creepy. The husband should take a decision based on his mother’s feelings rather than his wife’s.
MIL’s secret camera revealed!
MIL’s behavior is deemed Not The A**hole. The comment recommends that MIL should take care of her adult son instead of secretly installing cameras to monitor her daughter-in-law.
Mom-in-law takes ️’s off her adult daughter-in-law
The comment suggests that the Mom-in-law should allow the little child to return to his mother, where she can keep a close watch on his every movement, as opposed to monitoring him via a camera in the bedroom.
Taking a stand
The comment suggests taking a stand and starting the separation process so that both parties can look for more suitable partners. This is despite the fact it might feel like the commenter is abandoning someone in their time of need.
MIL crosses line: ✋
The commenter expressed that they would press charges against NTA (not the a**hole) MIL for secretly installing a camera in her adult daughter-in-law’s bedroom. MIL’s actions have crossed a line and she would not be welcomed in the commenter’s home again.
NTA! Husband should move back in with MIL
The comment suggests that the husband should move back in with his mother, implying that she prioritizes her son over the daughter-in-law. It also implies that the mother-in-law is being disrespectful.
Ship ‘big baby’ *back*
NTA. The commenter advises the adult daughter-in-law to take decisive actions – call the police, file a lawsuit, and send the MIL’s son back to her. The commenter also suggests that the daughter-in-law should get a divorce as well.
MIL crosses a line
NTA, the MIL doesn’t have a right to install a camera to monitor their adult daughter-in-law’s care of her son. This behavior is unacceptable.
NTA! Concern ≠ justifying a crime
The section comment says NTA, as the MIL installing a camera in the bedroom is not justified by her ‘concern’ and is a crime. The comment also raises concerns about the husband’s passivity in the situation, suggesting that he should move in with his mom if he doesn’t see a problem with the MIL’s spying.
NTA: Red flags
The comment advises the OP to give themselves a break and consider the offer of moving their son in with his mother, citing huge red flags in the behavior of the adult daughter-in-law. It concludes by saying that this is the best solution.
NTA, but your & ♀️ are AHs ♀️
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/e34d22e4-6b75-4b32-88ac-ce5ce6abed81.png)
The comment recommends that the adult daughter-in-law must not waste her time looking after someone who is ungrateful and rude and that she is better off without them both, as they are a**holes.
MIL’s camera ✨
NTA but MIL’s actions certainly raise some eyebrows. SO is also not absolved of responsibility in this situation.
NTA: Call the police
Commenter says that what MIL did is illegal and the police should be called.
