Man Wonders If He’s The Jerk For ‘Embarrassing’ His Brother’s Bride On Her Big Day, Asks The Internet

We all want the best for our family members. We’ll support them through thick and thin. We’ll encourage their ambitions and help them with their problems. Because we love them. But sometimes, it gets a bit complicated because when we want to do good, others might not appreciate our efforts. It may seem like you’re trying to be a good person and help others, but in reality, you might actually be making things worse. This man was unable to drink alcohol at his brother’s wedding because he was the dad of the baby that was there as well. But while he didn’t drink much, his wife clearly did, and the man stepped up to take care of his child instead of letting her hold it and potentially drop it on the floor. The brother was so mad at him that he called him out as the jerk of the wedding, but what do you make of this story ?

Internet users weigh in on 34M’s uncomfortable relationship with his brother’s demanding wife 23F

Brother’s bride embarrassed by man on big day – is he the ‘jerk’?

Man contemplates if his embarrassing moment at his brother’s wedding was too far, asks the internet for advice.

Bride gets tipsy and brother’s party takes an awkward turn

The man wonders if he was wrong to “politely decline” a “cute gesture” of his brother’s bride.

Mortified brother gets ‘stern no’ from brother’s bride

A brother wonders if he “embarrassed” his brother’s bride on her wedding day. Is he the a**hole?

Should he apologize for embarrassing his brother’s bride on her big day?

The Reddit user (34M) found himself in a difficult situation when his brother’s wife (23F) asked to have a ‘first dance’ with his baby son. He didn’t have a good relationship with his brother’s wife, so he politely declined the offer. His brother, however, blamed him for embarrassing his wife at her wedding, and he’s now asking the internet if he’s the one in the wrong here. This is a difficult situation and it’s important to consider each side of the story before deciding if he’s the jerk for saying no.

NTA: Babies are not props!

OP’s brother’s bride had asked for the baby to be passed around to guests at the wedding, but OP saw it as a bad idea considering the bride was a bit tipsy and saw it as a potential risk. Replies agreed, noting that babies are not props and should not be handled by those who are intoxicated

NTA or YTA?

The commenter declares that the OP (original poster) is Not The A**hole (NTA) for not letting an intoxicated person hold his baby. Replies question if the OP was the a**hole (YTA) for having a negative attitude towards his brother’s wife.

Don’t let a dress ‍♂️ get in the way of holding a baby !

Commenter says NTA for not wanting to hold a baby while likely tipsy, wearing high heels, and in a dress that obstructs movement. Replies agree that it could have been a dangerous situation, citing the potential for vomiting and anger from the bride.

Stands his ground

The commenter is Not The A**hole (NTA) as they defend their child’s safety when the brother’s newlywed wife was intoxicated. Replies support the comment and agree that the commenter is NTA.

Family drama: Who’s the a-hole?

Commenter accuses OP of not only being too judgmental of his brother’s new wife but of using the AITA scenario as an excuse to go on a long-winded rant about her. Replies present various perspectives and doubts about the bride’s tipsy behavior.

Is it YTA or ESH?

The commenter believes that the original poster is being too judgmental and wonders if the bride is at fault for a rushed engagement. Replies question the level of bitterness towards the bride and the propriety of bringing a baby to a wedding. ESH (everyone sucks here) is the consensus.

Baby blues on the bride’s big day

The commentor judged the bride for being tipsy and in heels at the wedding but argued that they should have been more polite, instead of ‘sternly’ telling her no. They argued that the bride’s ‘victim’ is actually their own brother, who they need to accept chose her as they chose their own husband.

Not the a-hole! ✋

The commenter believes the OP isn’t the a-hole, as getting tipsy at a wedding is fine, but the bride should have accepted the OP’s no when they asked to hold her baby. They suggest the OP make an effort to include her in the family outside of this situation, as it’s not a huge drama unless they let it. Replies agree, noting that the bride may have had a heightened emotion due to the wedding.

Everyone Sucks Here

The commenter does not think that the OP was in the wrong for not wanting a tipsy woman holding their baby, but does think that making a whole post about it was inappropriate. The commenter also does not think that the OP will have much of a relationship with the brother after this incident.

YTA or not?

A comment was made that the man is “not the A-hole” for not letting his brother’s bride dance with his baby but “YTA” for everything else they said in the post. One reply agreed, saying the man sounds “like a total dick in general.”

Brother’s bride put in her place? ‍♀️

NTA for telling her no, but the tone of the comment provides evidence of the writer enjoying her humiliation. There is no indication that the writer like her or that she understands the mutual disconnect between her and her brother’s spouse.

Families can be

The commenter is critical of the original poster (OP) for not being warm towards his brother’s bride, and finds it suspicious that OP would have refused to let her hold the baby even if she wasn’t drunk. According to the commenter, OP is the only one who is embarrassing in this situation, and suggests that money might be the source of OP’s animosity towards the bride. a**hole

NTA for protecting ✨infant✨

The commenter believes they are not the a**hole for not letting their infant be “danced with” when the person was drunk, and also stuffed into clothes they aren’t used to wearing. They draw a boundary for the infant’s safety and commend the person for taking a stand.

NTA – Brother’s bride was off-limits!

The commenter believes the OP is “Not the a**hole” for embarrassing the bride on her big day and that the brother should be ashamed for backing his wife. Other replies suggest that the OP’s caution was reasonable given that hand washing practices and hygiene around newborns are important.

Embarrassing brother’s bride on her big day: ESH?

The commentor believed that the poster was not the a**hole (NTA) with regards to the baby, but that the whole post was about how the poster didn’t like the bride, with the baby thing tacked on at the end.

A brother and SIL’s wedding,

The commenter believes YTA (you’re the a**hole) for ’embarrassing’ the SIL on her big day. They accuse the poster of being superficial and looking for a reason to ruin the wedding. Another reply agrees and speculates that the poster would still find something wrong even if the wedding had no infants present.

Dancing with a baby and alcohol? NTA

Commenter thinks it was the bride’s fault for not respecting their ‘no’ and suggests it was wrong for her to pressure them to dance with a 6 month old while drunk, thereby claiming the commenter was ‘not the a**hole’.

YTA: Brother dishonors bride on her big day

The comment states that the brother should have handled the situation with tact and made sure the bride was having the best day of her life. The bride had even outstretched herself to show respect and the brother’s refusal to accept the gesture is unjustified and he owes her an apology.

Bride embarrassed by brother-in-law?

Commenter called out the brother-in-law for being rude to his brother’s bride on her wedding day, suggesting he was insufferable. No replies found.

Family first

The commenter says NTA (not the a**hole), since the man is enforcing his kid’s rules and nothing else matters.

Can you trust your child with a drunk person?

A comment suggested that the original poster is YTA (you’re the a**hole) for ’embarrassing’ his brother’s bride on her big day. The comment went into detail suggesting that while the poster’s bias is showing, they should be honest about how drunk the bride was and if they can trust their child with a drunk person. No replies were found.

NTA for one and YTA for the other?

The commenter believes the original poster is not the a**hole for deciding to not bring their child to the wedding, but is the a**hole for continuing to judge the bride.

When a brother’s bride becomes tipsy ‍♀️

When the brother’s bride showed signs of intoxication, she was confronted. But the commentator wonders if this was the last straw in a series of unfriendly comments and behaviors that made her feel unwelcome.

Should he have said no to holding his brother’s bride’s baby?

The commentator stated that no one is entitled to hold someone else’s baby without their consent, and that instead of the man’s original reasoning for not wanting to hold the baby, a better, more considerate reason would have been to state he felt uncomfortable due to the bride’s prior drinking. NTA.

Will his conscience guide him?

The commenter senses mixed motives in the post and wonders if the decline of the bride’s offer was out of spite. They give the benefit of the doubt and say NTA (not the a**hole).

NTA: ❓

Commenter declared the brother Not The A**hole (NTA) after he felt embarrassed by his brother’s bride who was drunk and dancing at a wedding event with a 6-month-old baby present.

YTA? Brother’s wedding dance

Commenter suggests YTA (you’re the a**hole) for the original poster’s behavior towards his brother’s partner at the wedding. Commenter remarked that the poster disliked the partner from the start and used the excuse of being ‘tipsy’ to vilify her. The commenter also mentioned that they danced with their nieces and nephews at their own wedding.

NTA! Protecting at any cost

The commenter declared that NTA (Not The A**hole) was applicable. The commenter went on to explain that it’s the responsibility of the person who is looking after their child to ensure their safety and it’s their prerogative to decide that they don’t want to risk any potential harm that might come to the baby during the bride’s dance or photo op.

Is the bride the real a**hole?

The commenter ponders if they were wrong in not trusting the bride, who was drunk and carrying a baby, with glassware on the dance floor. They ultimately conclude they are NTA (not the a**hole).

Not the a-hole?

The comment suggests that even if the bride wasn’t drunk, the man wouldn’t be the a**hole for not wanting to hold a stranger’s kid. The situation is a bit complicated, and a calm conversation to clear the air is suggested as a solution.

NTA: protecting &

The commenter declared it was Not The A-hole when the original poster expressed doubt whether he was in the wrong for keeping a drunk woman away from the baby at his brother’s wedding.

Saving a bride from baby vomit

Commenter NTA (not the a**hole) suggested that the original poster of the situation may have actually saved the bride from a potentially embarrassing situation by preventing baby vomit from staining her gown. This was corroborated by the reply, which shared a similar experience of a sister’s wedding dress being ruined by baby vomit.

Brother’s wedding sparks family drama

The comment questions the brother’s attitude towards his brother’s wife, stating that it appears as if he is looking down on them due to their quick engagement. It also criticizes his behavior, suggesting he is sometimes catty or outright rude. The comment suggests the story is missing important details.

Brother’s wedding gone wrong ‍♂️

The commentator remarked that they initially thought the situation would develop differently, and concluded that the brother was ‘NTA’ (not the a**hole), as the bride embarrassed herself.

NTA: Baby’s rules!

The comment suggests that the original poster is ‘Not The A**hole’ for not wanting his brother’s bride to be tipsy while holding his baby — as the baby’s safety should take priority.

No one’s an a**hole ‍♂️

The commentator affirms that no one is an a**hole, emphasizing that ‘no means no’.

NTA. Respect your brother’s wishes

The commenter believes the original poster is not the a**hole for respecting his brother’s wishes not to drink at his wedding and not hold his baby.

NTA, but bride TA .

A commenter stated that the original poster (OP) is not the a**hole (NTA) but the bride is the a**hole (TA) due to the texts she sent the OP’s brother. They argued that 8 months is not such a short period of time to be concerning.

NTA: Babies aren’t for drunk people

The comment says NTA (not the a**hole) as the poster thinks their brother’s bride embarrassed herself by getting drunk in front of their family. They recommend shooting their brother a text but think it would not be well received.

Is it ‍♂️ESH

The comment ponders if the original poster (OP) didn’t like the brother’s bride and that was in play. It recommends the OP take into consideration whether the bride was too tipsy to risk dropping the OP’s child and that she’s showing that she’s part of the family now.

NTA! ✋ It wasn’t his son’s fault.

The commenter said NTA (not the a**hole) and that the bride was already tipsy, dismissing any blame from the 6-month-old son.

Relationship advice:

The comment warns that embarrassing the brother’s bride on her big day may come at the cost of a relationship with the brother.

NTA: setting boundaries

The commenter declared NTA (not the a**hole) in response to the post and stated that the man was setting a boundary and told the bride no, she can’t dance with his baby while drunk. When she pushed the issue, the man was again told no. He concluded that if she got embarrassed that’s her own fault.

NTA: Is this dress really worth it?

The commenter deemed the situation not the a**hole, asking if anyone else thought the bride was foolish for wanting to hold an infant while wearing a priceless gown.

Should he have said no to the bride?

The comment questions if the man was right to say no to his brother’s bride. He thinks NTA since alcohol was likely a factor, and gives an aside comment on inebriation at weddings.

NTA: Boundaries need to be kept!

The commenter said that the man wasn’t the a**hole, as the bride had tried to bulldoze him after he said no, and that she needs to learn to respect the boundaries.

Not the a**hole ‍♂️

The commenter believes that it was not their fault for not letting a tipsy person hold their infant, and makes it clear that they do not think that they are the a-hole in this situation.

Famous last words: ”No” ‍♀️

The internet was convinced that the OP was the a**hole for curtly refusing their brother’s bride’s request at her wedding, without a hint of friendliness, and proceeded to explain why. People also pointed out that the OP’s relationship seems too good to be true and not in a good way.

NTA! Baby said no but bride insisted.

The commentor thought that the brother’s bride was NTA (not the a**hole) for trying to hold their 6-month-old baby, even after being told no. The commentor thought it was wrong to put the child through that, since the bride was a stranger to them.

NTA: Protecting baby’s safety

The comment author states that they are not the a**hole for preventing their brother’s bride from holding their baby while tipsy, as they were just looking out for the safety of the baby.

NTA: She embarrassed herself

The commenter declared not the a**hole (NTA) as they felt the embarrassment was brought on by the bride herself. No replies were found.

It’s not the a**hole

The commenter firmly believes that the man is not the a**hole in this situation as no one should trust their kid with someone tipsy regardless of the day of the event.

NTA: No free baby dances

The commenter stated that the poster was NTA (not the a**hole) in this situation, as no one is really entitled to dance with their baby, especially when the bride was tipsy/drunk. They concluded that if anyone noticed the exchange, it would have been forgotten by the next morning and the text was unnecessary.

Man wonders if he’s YTA

The commenter believes the man is not the a-hole (NTA) for not allowing his son to be held by the bride, but is the a-hole (YTA) for disliking her without any real reason. They also suggest that it’s not the man’s place to decide if the bride and groom got engaged too fast.

Mom weighs in on embarrassing wedding story

The commenter admitted feeling “NTA” (not the a**hole), as she herself took her infant to a wedding before. She also mentions her own quick engagement and 15-year-strong marriage, indicating no hate towards the brother’s bride.

NTA: Don’t hand to lady

The comment affirms that the OP is Not The A**hole (NTA) for denying his sister-in-law’s request to hold the baby after she had been drinking. It suggests that it was her responsibility to stop embarrassing herself and not to even ask for the baby in the first place.

NTA: She’s not obligated

The commenter pointed out that the bride was not obligated to spend quality time with the bride’s son. They suggested being more open-minded about her and getting to know her better due to her dislike for her. They also commented that a drunk woman handling a child is definitely not a good idea.

Never a good ⚠️idea to mix babies and alcohol ✋

The poster argued that it was never a good idea to mix babies and alcohol, regardless of the fact that it was a family member or in-law. They cautioned that it could have gone wrong and that babies should not be turned into props or dolls.

NTA! Don’t mess with kids.

The commenter strongly affirms that the man wasn’t the a-hole for ’embarrassing’ his brother’s bride and reasons that it was inappropriate for her to drink and hold his baby. The commenter does not trust the bride and warns that they are the “scary one in the family” if someone messes with their kids.

Everyone involved sucks

In this comment section, the commenter has expressed that ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). No replies were found.

Taking precautions! ✋

The commenter declared that the father was NTA (not the a**hole) for not allowing a potentially inebriated person, someone he didn’t trust, or someone who was too demanding to hold the baby. The bride was the one who embarrassed herself, if anyone else noticed.

YTA or NAH?

The comment suggests that the person might be a-hole for “embarrassing” their brother’s bride on her big day, but awaits input from the internet for confirmation.