Jason Momoa really, really loves his wife.
He sat down with Esquire to chat about his upcoming Apple+ series, See , but let’s be real: he really just wanted to talk about his wife the whole time.
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Dudes, take notes: this is how you hype up your wife.
So, Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet got together in 2005.
Jason will explain how they met later in the article, so stay tuned .
For their first date, Jason was so determined to make things work that he dreaded his hair for her.
“I had dreadlocks. She had dreadlocks,” he told James Corden.
That date went REALLY well.
By July of 2007, they were welcoming their first child together, Lola Iolani Momoa.
She was Jason’s first child, but Lisa’s second — the first being the legendary Zoë Kravitz, who she had with her ex-husband, Lenny Kravitz.
Zoë and Jason are straight-up buds.
And they’re both superheroes now! While Jason is obviously Aquaman, Zoë was just cast as Catwoman.
“I’m so proud of u zozo bear. On and off screen OHANA,” he wrote on Instagram.
They welcomed their second child in 2008.
Wasting no time, Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa was born in December of 2008.
“My kids are my greatest piece of art,” Jason told Men’s Health . “If I can pump them full of amazing stuff and surround them with beautiful art and music, then I’m going to live out my life watching them.”
They secretly wed in 2017.
However, it didn’t stay a secret for long.
“I thought it would have stayed that way, but some [expletive] leaked it and I will find you,” he said during a press junket for Justice League .
Alright, so now we’re caught up on their relationship.
It’s time to dive into his interview with Esquire , where he got super candid about his relationship with Lisa.
There’s also a small video he did where he demonstrated that he knew how to use a scrunchie, which is important to my happiness.
The interview starts with him stealing a dog.
No, really.
That’s the moment that kicks off Jason’s thoughts on his wife, Lisa Bonet. He “stole” a dog and was in the process of trying to figure out how to convince her to let him keep it.
He described what life was like at their house.
They have their own areas of their house in Topanga, which are clearly delineated by how nice they are. He even has his own self-described “man cave.”
“Goddesses belong up there. Dirtbags down here.”
He introduced the dog to his kids via FaceTime.
But it’s Lisa who will get the final say.
“It’s up to Mama,” he told the dog. “Mama is the boss—everyone knows that.”
I need to see the video of him talking very seriously to that dog.
And he got stuck with the dog in an elevator.
The dog, who he named Rama, was trapped with him in a Vancouver elevator for two hours. He live-streamed the whole thing.
That lead him to remark on how he uses social media.
“She’s very, very, very private,” he said of Bonet. “I’m the opposite, like, Come on in!”
That privacy is exclusive to Lisa.
Because Jason is a bit of a blabber mouth — even with his own kids’ secrets.
“I’d tell Mom right away,” he said, discussing what he’d do if they broke a rule. “I’m not going to get busted over your [expletive].”
He met Lisa the last time he lived in Vancouver.
I stan a love story that involves Vancouver.
They met in LA, though he was living in Vancouver while filming Stargate: Atlantis.
He described her as, “literally my childhood crush.” And then blushed. I love him.
He didn’t let on that she was his crush, however.
“I mean, I didn’t tell her that. I didn’t let her know I was a stalker until after we had the kids.”
Smart strategy from Aquaman. Man, this guy really is living the dream.
And he knows exactly how lucky he is.
It took him a long time to get to where he is in his career, but he never gave up.
“If someone says something isn’t possible, I’m like, ‘Listen here, I married Lisa Bonet. Anything is [expletive] possible.'”
He then launched into the story of his daughter’s birth.
He was in Vancouver at the time.
“It was the hottest day, July 20. There was no air-conditioning in these places, so I was sleeping in the front window.”
10/10 can attest to that being true, for I live there and die in the summers. But anyway.
He didn’t hear his phone.
“I missed about seventy calls. And I woke up and freaked the [expletive] out.”
So I call the Stargate office, and the badass producer is there, and he’s like, ‘Jason, get in the [expletive] car, get to the [expletive] airport!'”
He headed to the airport immediately.
“So there’s one seat left on the [expletive] back of the plane…and I tell the lady, ‘Listen, I’m having a baby—make sure everyone sits down so I can get off the plane first.'”
He followed through on that idea.
“So I come barreling out of the terminal, like the Predator, like, ‘GET OUT OF THE WAY!’
I’m running through the airport, and I get in the car.”
Man, this labor must have been long .
He told the driver to floor it.
“I go, like, ‘Dude, I don’t care, run all the lights . . . I’ll pay for everything.’
And I made it in the nick of time.”
I’m so proud of him!
But wait, there’s more.
“Oh, and this is the best part! Benjamin Bratt was on the plane! He was in first class.
And when I ran past him, I’m like, ‘Oh, [expletive], Benjamin Bratt!’ And he was like, ‘Go, go, go.'”
There’s no word on if Lisa let him keep the dog.
But given that he introduced it to his kids, gave it a name, and even began training it (it growls at the word “paparazzi” and shakes happily when it hears the Hawaiian word “shaka”), I’m guessing the dog joined their family.
NOW HANG ON, because we have to go over the scrunchie video.
Esquire put Jason to the challenge — did he actually know how to use the scrunchies he wears as wrist accessories?
Yeah. Duh.
He tried on tons of different hairstyles, including Princess Leia’s space buns. Iconique.
