A recent Reddit post from a mother seeking advice has sparked heated discussions online. The woman shared that her husband doesn’t want her showing physical affection to their young son once he turns two.
The reason? Her husband claims that affection “will make him weak and not ‘man’ enough.” Conflicted and concerned, she asked the community for guidance.
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In her post, the mom explained:
“He says it will make him weak.” She pushed back, arguing that physical affection is essential, not detrimental, to her son’s development. Her husband’s stance stems from his own upbringing — he grew up outside the U.S., where his father discouraged any displays of affection.
“His dad didn’t ‘allow’ his mom to kiss him or his brother either,” she wrote, adding that her husband viewed this as “normal.”
The mother emphasized that her husband is otherwise a wonderful father.
“In every other aspect…he has been wonderful. We co-parent, divide responsibilities, and he is very supportive.” Despite his supportive nature, she felt disheartened each time the topic of withholding affection arose.
Many Redditors were quick to rally behind her, asserting that her husband’s perspective might be outdated.
“Giving your son affection will not make him less of a man. That’s ridiculous,”
One user insisted, urging her to “stand [her] ground.” Another commenter didn’t hold back, writing, “I think your husband is confusing broken with manly.” Others suggested that the husband’s stance reflected deeper insecurities, with one user stating, “Stand firm on this one mom… your husband is very insecure.”
In a series of post edits, the woman shared that her husband had since discovered her Reddit post and insisted she clarify some points.
He mentioned that his mother had kissed him a few times despite his father’s disapproval and that he had never set a strict age limit. She added, “He said that he was making a joke… he’s even been kissing our son.”
But, his remark about affection “making him a sissy boy” left lingering doubts in her mind.
Some responses on Reddit took a humorous approach to emphasize support for the mom.
“Well, you better stop kissing your husband then. You wouldn’t want to emasculate him in any way. What an absolute idiot,” one user quipped, receiving many upvotes.
Another commenter echoed this sentiment, adding, “I’ll stop kissing my husband before I ever stop kissing my son.”
Others offered personal anecdotes to show that a mother’s love does not correlate with “manliness.”
One parent chimed in, “I kissed my son… until the day he joined the military. During his two tours of duty, the military thought he was ‘man enough.’”
This comment, accompanied by the sentiment that love and support have no expiration date, resonated with countless readers.
Reflecting on her own experiences, a commenter shared how growing up without affection affected her.
“My mother was like that to me. Never kissed me. Never said she loved me. That didn’t make me more ‘manly.’ It made me broken.” She advised the mother to ignore her husband’s views, warning of the possible long-term emotional toll.
Many commenters criticized the perpetuation of outdated parenting ideologies, especially when they stem from cultural norms.
One remarked, “Hate the whole ‘my parents done it so I will do the same.’ What happened to growth? Or breaking the cycle?” Another took it further, mentioning that “withholding affection from children is abuse in the eyes of the law in some countries.”
In the end, the overwhelming consensus was clear.
The mom should continue showing love and affection to her son, regardless of her husband’s views.
For many, it was a reminder that parenting requires balance, growth, and sometimes the courage to challenge ingrained beliefs for the sake of the next generation.
