You know what they say: when you know, you know. And when it comes to a person’s style, there’s no room for opinions unless you’re genuinely trying to offer useful (or at least somewhat useful) criticism. Otherwise, they can go ahead and paint the world in their favorite colors, and you just have to deal with it. It’s only fair.
Reddit user HarleyGFProblem decided to share a very delicate situation with the members of the r/AmIthe[Jerk] community. While his girlfriend Natalie enjoys wearing different outfits inspired by internet memes, she wanted to make an outfit that was more literal than the rest—a dress based on the famous Gay Rat Wedding meme.
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However, it was her friend’s wedding and he was gay. He shared his doubts about her choice of attire for the occasion with his girlfriend and she thought he was being a jerk about it. So she confronted him and he had to come clean about sharing it publicly.
You’ll find the full story below, as it was shared on Reddit (and what happened afterward!), so be sure to read it all and share your thoughts!
Should he give in to her “unique” dress idea?
Should a boyfriend let his girlfriend wear an extra-unique dress to a friend’s wedding?
Should he draw the line on his girlfriend’s fashion choice for a wedding?
Is it okay to draw the line on style when it comes to attending a wedding?
An update on the controversial situation
Relationship struggles continue as follower comments don’t provide a clear solution
Is a man’s refusal to let his girlfriend wear a unique dress to a wedding wrong?
The man finally takes a stand on his girlfriend’s ‘unique’ dress choice
A heated discussion over a ‘unique’ dress leads to a single, rat-free-dress man at the wedding ♂️
He’s caught between supporting his friend and accepting his ♀️girlfriend’s style!
This is the story of a man caught between supporting his friend and accommodating his girlfriend’s unique dress style. His girlfriend, Nat, wanted to wear a dress inspired by the meme ‘Gay Rat Wedding’ to his friend’s wedding.
Nat is a fan of incorporating memes into her clothing, which the man has never had an issue with. But he knows his friend is not a fan of her style and fears an ‘uproar’ if Nat wears her dress to the wedding. He asked Reddit if he was the ‘a**hole’ for not wanting her to wear the dress as planned.
Find out what happened in the reactions and comments below!
NTA ♂️ It isn’t inappropriate
The comment in the section noted that it would be inappropriate to let the girlfriend wear a ‘unique’ dress to a wedding, as it could be insulting and make her the center of attention. Replies agreed, noting that the dress could be seen as making a mockery of the couple’s big day and disrespecting the queer community. Everyone saw the dress choice as inappropriate and made it clear that the OP is NTA.
Guy refuses GF’s inappropriate dress
The commenter suggests that the guy can’t be blamed for refusing to let his GF wear an inappropriate dress to a wedding. He’s doing the right thing by letting her know how disrespectful and crass her choice would be and how it would be poorly received. Everyone agrees that the guy is NTA (not the a**hole) for his actions.
Is refusing ‘unique’ wedding attire NTA or YTA?
The section’s comments express the opinion that wearing such a unique dress to a wedding is inappropriate, as it will detract from the brooms’ special day. Replies in the section agree and suggest that it would be wrong to be the center of attention at someone else’s wedding. Overall, the sentiment of the comments and replies is that OP is NTA (not the a**hole).
NTA: no rat dresses
The commenter believes that the wedding is not about the girlfriend and, thus, she should not wear anything inappropriate or that may draw attention away from the bride and groom, such as a dress with rat and gay pride prints. The updated rules of wedding attire mentioned were ‘No wearing white’ and ‘No rat dresses’.
NTA Couple’s wedding not GF’s creative splash ♂️
The comment and replies unanimously agree that the girlfriend’s desire to wear a ‘unique’ dress to the wedding is a bad idea. It is not the girlfriend’s chance to make a creative splash and the comment suggests that it could even be construed as offensive and rude to the couple getting married.
Respect your friends’ wedding!
The commenter thought that the OP was NTA for not wanting to let his girlfriend wear a “unique” dress to the wedding, as it might be disrespectful to the grooms. The reply expresses agreement, emphasizing that it’s important to get the grooms’ approval first.
Protecting his friends’ wedding from a rude and disrespectful dress
The OP is NTA for not wanting to let his girlfriend wear a “unique” dress to a wedding, as it would be rude and disrespectful. He should protect his friends’ special and cherished day from the dress, and if she remains stubborn, he should respond for one. A reply brings up that it’s sad and that the grooms can’t have their own wedding event like this. Another reply mentions how the girlfriend is trying to hijack the moment, and that it’s unacceptable for a grown a** woman to do so.
Thinking about rats and weddings ?
Maybe the commenter suggests the couple should think about the fact that this is about two real people and not two rats getting married. They suggest the girlfriend should put the phone away and not use the wedding to express her creativity. NTA.
NTA: Respect the
The comment’s sentiment is NTA (not the a-hole). The comment highlights that respect is necessary when it comes to the couple getting married and that the guest’s outfits should not draw attention away from them. The replies suggest that the dress in question could be seen as offensive, and there is a risk that the girlfriend may double down and not acknowledge that it could be seen as disrespectful.
NTA! A wedding is not a place to be a sideshow.
The commenter agrees with the original poster and states that it is inappropriate for the girlfriend to try and take center stage with her ‘unique’ dress at the wedding. It’s suggested that guests may not get the ‘gay rats’ dress, making it an offensive statement. The replies back up the commenter, referencing a TV show and agreeing that the dress choice would still be inappropriate even if the girlfriend is queer.
NTA for wanting to protect wedding dress code
OP is not the a-hole for wanting to protect the wedding dress code. He suggests the OP can bring his girlfriend if she follows the dress code, or go alone. The comment then expresses shock at the girlfriend being 30 and not knowing basic wedding etiquette and implies that the outfit is better suited for a pride parade. One reply questions if the outfit is mocking the marriage by calling them rats.
NTA: Protecting from
The commenter writes that the OP isn’t the a**hole for not wanting his girlfriend to wear her ‘unique’ dress to a wedding. The commenter also notes that it’s funny the OP made a throwaway account to protect his real account from her. Replies to this comment suggest that the representation of the grooms as rats at the wedding may be too far.
Should he let his GF wear the “gay rat dress” to the gay wedding?
The commenter thinks his friend should wear the “gay rat dress” for kicks, but not at a gay wedding as it would be too inappropriate. The replies suggest that the girlfriend might be “micro-aggressively” appreciating the wedding as a gay wedding rather than two individuals celebrating their love.
No one should make a out of ★marriage★
The comment writer expresses that it is wrong for someone to make a joke out of the right to marriage, especially for gay couples. Moreover, another comment writer notes that his family would have a strong reaction to such a joke, and other comment writers agree that it would be inappropriate in the context of a wedding celebration.
NTA for refusing dress
The commenter insisted that the OP was NTA (not the a**hole) for refusing to let his girlfriend wear a “unique” dress to the wedding. The replies indicate that the girlfriend probably is an attention-seeking narcissist and her outfit choice was inappropriate for the occasion.
NTA: Stuffed animals aren’t appropriate wedding attire!
The commenter, along with the other replies, advises OP not to let his girlfriend wear her unique dress to the wedding. They voice their concerns that someone dressed like that could appear to be making homophobic statements and turn the wedding into a circus.
Not the a**hole
Commenter affirms the guy is not the a**hole in this situation and also encourages him to remind his girlfriend that it’s the couple’s wedding, not hers.
NTA on not attending
The commenter deemed the original poster NTA for not allowing his girlfriend to wear a ‘unique’ dress to a wedding. The commenter believes his girlfriend needs some real attention due to this behavior.
NTA: Being reasonable & socially appropriate at a wedding
The OP is Not The A-hole (NTA) for asking his girlfriend to not wear a “unique” dress to a wedding, despite her wishes to do so. The commenter believes that the dress would make her the center of attention for all the wrong reasons, rather than being funny or creative.
Girlfriend’s choice of dress❓
The commenter suggested that the guy’s girlfriend was being low-key homophobic want to wear a ‘unique’ dress to a wedding. A reply pointed out that it was not her wedding and she is being narcissistic instead.
Friendly reminder ❗️✋
A comment suggests that the girlfriend’s dress has the potential to be offensive and in poor taste and that it would be selfish of her to create drama at someone else’s wedding. The comment reminds her that the event is not about her and suggests she chooses something less ostentatious for the wedding.
Is your gf an attention *a-hole*?
The commenter suggests that the OP’s girlfriend might be an attention *a-hole* and that the OP should give the couple a chance to shut it down. The commenter also marks the OP as NTA (not the *a-hole*).
Is he wrong for not letting his GF wear a “unique” dress ♀️ to his friend’s gay wedding?
The commenter believes the OP is right to not let his girlfriend wear a ‘unique’ dress to his friend’s gay wedding. They suggest it would draw attention away from the happy couple and that it would be an inappropriate place for her to show her support for ‘gay rats’. The commenter claims they would be willing to ‘die on this metaphorical hill’. NTA.
NTA: Plain dress for a few hours
It’s not an a-hole move to refuse to let his girlfriend wear a ‘unique’ dress to the wedding; she can wear something plain for a few hours. It seems like she wants to draw attention to herself at the wedding.
Standing up for wedding etiquette
The section comment states that the boyfriend is not the a**hole for refusing to let his girlfriend wear a ‘unique’ dress to their friend’s wedding. It explains that it would be disrespectful to the couple who paid a lot of money and that weddings are not the appropriate venues for displaying one’s creativity.
NTA – not the time for kookiness!
The commenter believes the girlfriend is wrong for wanting to be ‘kooky’ at a wedding and suggests that at 30 years old she should know better.
♂️NTA: No one should wear an offensive dress to a wedding! ♂️
The commenter believes the protagonist is not the a**hole for refusing to let his girlfriend wear a potentially offensive dress to a gay wedding. He believes she needs to ask the grooms’ and accept their wishes.
⁉️NTA: Refusing the dress ♂️
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/febac2ef-4917-46a9-aa02-398c83b07640.png)
The section comment states that the guy is not the a**hole for not letting his girlfriend wear a unique dress to the wedding. The commenter suggests that the couple compromise by taking pictures of the dress in front of the venue. They should also avoid wearing it at the reception or even the after party.
A wedding no-no
The commenter thinks that the guy is not the a**hole (NTA) for not allowing his girlfriend to wear a dress that would make them look like rats at the wedding.
Is there a reason to throwaway accounts?
The commenter says the OP is not the a**hole (NTA) and questions why people use throwaway accounts. An anonymous user, possibly the original poster, has an issue related to their girlfriend wanting to wear a large yellow top hat to a bar mitzvah for the commenter’s twin brothers in Cozumel, which the commenter does not want her to do due to acute xanthophobia. The replies confirm that the throwaway account is used so people can’t find out the user’s account history.
♂️ Manic Pixie Dream No More!
The commenter notes that people want a carefree and whimsical partner until said partner’s quirks become apparent, expressing frustration at the situation.
Is he not a jerk?
The commenter inquired if the guy was a jerk for refusing his girlfriend to wear a ‘unique’ dress to a wedding. The commenter suggested that it may be a bridge the guy can’t cross due to the girlfriend’s homophobia.
♂️ Is refusing anime-inspired dress to wedding wrong?
NTA: The comment chastises the original poster’s girlfriend for reducing the wedding of real people to a meme, comparing it to an anime kid calling an irl gay relationship ‘yaoi’. ♂️
Guy’s GF trying something
The commenter emphasizes that the guy’s girlfriend should not wear a dress that calls the newlyweds rats to the wedding, as it is highly inappropriate. The commenter states that if she does, she will deserve to be thrown out of the wedding.
Wediquette doesn’t
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/7164fb37-7f6e-4b17-a78a-bb0584c0b941.png)
The commenter suggests NTA (Not the A**hole) for the guy not letting his girlfriend wear a “unique” dress to the wedding because the wedding is about the grooms and not the guests.
NTA: Appropriate dress codes matter
The commenter believes that the guy is Not the A**hole as his refusal to let his girlfriend wear a ‘unique’ dress to the wedding is justified. The comment conveys that appropriate dress codes should be respected in such settings.
NTA: Dress time and place
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/323a0303-611e-4b34-ade0-31ba47470a0e.png)
The commenter believes the dress is a “tad tasteless” for the wedding and suggests that the after party or if the grooms are on board with it, the dress could be more suitable in those circumstances. They admit that they love the sound of the style but think it is unsuitable for this particular event.
He said “No” to unique dress
The commenter thinks the original poster, who refused to let his girlfriend wear a unique dress to his friend’s wedding, is not the a**hole. Even though he loves the uniqueness, the commenter believes that it’s their wedding and they should get to decide what to wear. He wouldn’t want someone wearing something he finds offensive to his own wedding either. He stands by his answer that the original poster is NTA (not the a**hole).
NTA – you don’t have to be a jerk!
The commenter believes that the OP is not the a**hole to refuse his girlfriend’s request to wear a ‘unique’ dress to someone else’s wedding, as it’s not appropriate to express one’s own creativity there.
Guy’s dilemma: NTA or YTA?
The commenter said that the guy wasn’t a jerk for not wanting his girlfriend to wear her unique dress to a wedding, as it was inappropriate timing for such a thing. It wasn’t about her creativity and she shouldn’t feel hurt.
You’re not the a-hole ♂️
The commenter said that the OP is not the a-hole for not letting his girlfriend wear a ‘unique’ dress to his friend’s wedding, as it would draw attention away from the marrying couple. The commenter also found the gay rat meme to be highly offensive. The commenter advised the OP to find another plus one.
NTA: Your girlfriend can dress “creatively” on other days ♂️
The comment says that the speaker is Not The A**hole for not allowing his girlfriend to wear a “unique” dress to a wedding. They argue that she can dress creatively for other days of the week and that wearing a “boring plebian” outfit for several hours at the wedding won’t kill her.
NTA for saying no ♂️
The commenter justified their reaction by stating they would have ‘booted her from their wedding’ if she had come dressed in a similar fashion. The sentiment expressed is that the commenter was not the a-hole in this situation.
Girlfriend’s dress too unique for wedding
The commenter believes that the original poster is Not The A**hole and that he was right to refuse to let his girlfriend wear a dress that would offend their guests. The commenter suggests that she should either wear something else or not attend the wedding at all.
NTA: inappropriate dress ♂️
Commenter asserts that the guy is not the a**hole for not allowing his girlfriend to wear a dress he deems inappropriate for a wedding. Commenter suggests that the girlfriend is the one being obtuse for not understanding why the dress can’t be worn.
No a-hole here!
The commenter believes that the guy is not the a**hole (NTA) in the situation and that his girlfriend would appear disrespectful and upstage the wedding if she wore the ‘unique’ dress she wanted.
NTA – Wish *him* luck ✔️
The comment states that the guy is ‘Not The A**hole’ (NTA) in this situation for not letting his girlfriend wear an ‘unique’ dress to the wedding. It emphasizes that the wedding is about the people getting married and not about drawing attention to the guests.
It suggests that the best case scenario is that the girlfriend gets annoyed side looks from people, and the worst case scenario is that someone asks her to leave and creates drama for everyone. It ends with a hope for the guy to convince her to be respectful and understand the situation.
