When it comes to having children, some couples plan when they are going to get pregnant, while for others, it comes as a huge surprise. Not every child is planned and when they’re not, it can throw a couple’s life upside down. Having a baby and bringing a child into the world is a huge responsibility—both physically, emotionally, and financially.
Not every couple is ready for that. Sometimes, when a baby is a surprise, it can cause friction between two people who don’t see eye-to-eye on how they want to do things—such as raising a child. This can lead to some serious issues in a relationship.
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One Reddit user shared her boyfriend had a different outlook on raising children
Reddit user SherbertNew2535 shared that she and her boyfriend have been together for three years, and while they are very careful, they ended up pregnant. Both she and her boyfriend have discussed wanting children, but she has just graduated from college and just begun her career, so this was a huge shock for them both.
They discussed their options, such as having an abortion or placing the baby up for adoption—but, in the end, they decided to keep their baby.
A few days after the decision, her boyfriend had a suggestion
The Reddit user shared that her boyfriend admitted her wanted her to be a stay-at-home mom. He explained that this is how he was raised and he believes it will give their baby a better life.
“He said that he had been talking with his boss who agreed to give him a raise. And he said with that raise plus working occasional overtime he would be able to afford to pay our rent, bills, groceries and the costs for our baby. He also said he would marry me so I would have extra security,” she wrote.
The Reddit user, however, did not agree
When she heard her boyfriend suggest this, she said she burst out laughing. Not only does she believe that it would be hard on them financially to be a one-income household, she also doesn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom.
The Reddit user said she is the first person in her family to earn a college degree, coming from two immigrant parents, and takes her education and her career very seriously and has an immense amount of pride in it.
However, he was hurt by her reaction
After she burst out laughing, the Reddit user said she could tell her boyfriend was hurt by her reaction. He agreed with her decision, however, and did not argue with her.
When discussing the situation with a friend later on, her friend shared that she was totally wrong for laughing in his face. Her friend said it was as though she was “mocking” her boyfriend after he was willing to work harder to care for her and the baby.
Despite feeling bad, she still thinks the suggestion was “completely insane”
Many people online agreed with the Reddit user, saying it was insane for her boyfriend to suggest this.
“Try suggesting he becomes a SAHD and see if he takes it any more seriously than your own reaction,” commented CruiseDad4eva.
One person pointed out it’s funny he made plans without her.
“It’s so funny that he makes plans about your life without asking you, that he talks to his boss and takes steps about these plans. So it is normal to laugh at this funny situation,” said Nily_che.
There were those who thought it was funny
Having an entire plan for life without discussing it can be a huge shock.
“The fact you’ve been together for years, have discussed having children… and he decided to wait until now to drop this expectation on you? Yeah that [expletive] laughable,” stated xoxstrawberrywine.
Others suggested if he wants a stay at home parent, do it himself.
“Why is it always men that decide since they enjoyed having a parent at home THE OTHER parent should do that? If he feels baby needs a stay at home parent he should try to figure out how he can stay home,” wrote InternalPurple7694.
Others suggested it’s a trap
Some people online shared that it could be a ploy to keep the Reddit user with him, no matter what.
“Not saying that he’s like this, but I know a lot of men who say stuff like this to essentially trap women into relationships. The smart thing to do is to have your own income. It’s never a smart move to completely rely on someone else financially like that,” shared amw38961.
One person pointed out that she needs to work for her own sake, as well.
“If you do not work, your social security benefit will be zero. Unless you marry him and the marriage lasts 10 years. Then you can claim 50% value of his SS benefit. And later, if he dies, you would get a survivor’s benefit,” said EntranceComfortable.
Some even offered a new plan
Instead of having to fight about staying home, there are other things that Reddit users had in mind.
“Tell him great, you guys can hire a cleaner and get a meal delivery service so BOTH of you can spend quality time with your child. He has fond memories of his Mom, but your child can have fond memories of both parents,” commented archivesgrrl.
And some offered perspective.
“He wouldn’t even remember the first 4 or 5 years of his life with his SAHM and neither would the baby. And his mom was a SAHM because it was easier to do it a generation ago. Today, 1 income families are rare. And if they exist, they’re living paycheck to paycheck,” wrote GrimmTrixX.
Clearly, the jury is in on this one
While some believe her boyfriend was trying to be kind, they truly believe that he was wrong for making an entire plan without even discussing or keeping her girlfriend’s priorities in mind. So, they agree it’s valid to laugh in his face when he plans her entire life for her, with no regard.
Do you agree?
H/T Reddit.
