Unless you live under a boulder (or in a swamp), you probably know that Dreamworks announced that the long-awaited Shrek 5 is slated to crash into theaters on July 1, 2026.
And while that release date is farther away than a lot of us would like, we have lots of Shrek-related content to entertain us in the meantime – like unhinged social media threads about the potential plot of the fifth film.
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1. X (Formerly Twitter) user Sean McLoughlin kicked things off with an amazing thread.
McLoughlin immediately tapped into the pop culture-laden brilliance of the Shrek franchise. For better or worse, Shrek sometimes relies on fairly new (and sometimes fleeting) references to current events or trends, and McLoughlin nailed the tone straight away.
2. Others quickly joined in with Taylor Swift jokes.
Honestly, I would be so surprised if there isn’t a Taylor Swift reference in the next film. I’m thinking they need to do a cheesy Shrek and Fiona montage set to “Love Story (Taylor’s Version),” which can then be cut down for TikTok edits.
3. Speaking of TikTok…
I mean, yeah. It’s basically a guarantee that they’ll have to make a TikTok reference at this point. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a whole B-Story about Gingy and Pinocchio trying increasingly elaborate ways to go viral on Far, Far Away’s version of the app.
4. Can’t forget a dance.
I mean…yeah. Go with me on this one: it’s a Donkey dance, but it’s set to a Kesha track that she writes exclusively for the movie. Don’t even try and pretend “Joyride” hasn’t be stuck in your head for the last week. (Just me? Okay. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.)
5. The Minecraft jokes write themselves.
If they actually do a Will Smith Oscars joke, I will cringe so hard. That joke is already so outdated. To me, anyway. But the parody of kids watching Minecraft Let’s Plays on YouTube? Now there’s a good idea.
6. Someone even came up with an excellent Squid Games parody name.
I hate how perfect this is. I could absolutely see them theming the entire movie around a Squid Games parody, but I can also see them building out a ton of elaborate lore for the Squire Games only to spend 5 seconds of screen time on it. Shrek movies are layered like that. You know, like onions.
7. There’s gotta be an online shopping joke.
Hey, who knows if Amazon will own Dreamworks by 2026! I’m kidding. I hope. Anyway, Shrek hasn’t shied away from online shopping jokes before now, so why not go after the low-hanging fruit and take a shot at an Amazon parody? Also, the podcast thing is kind of a slam dunk idea. I bet Donkey has one.
8. I bet Farquaad’s former cronies work at this place.
This is one of those jokes I’m so disappointed I didn’t think of first. I just know the Undertaker from the first movie has a side hustle as a DulocDash driver. He probably has a carriage with a DulocDash sticker on the horse’s butt, too.
9. I really want the Crocs joke to happen.
Forget the inevitable pronoun jokes, we need to talk about a witch wearing small crocodiles called Crocs. This is a billion-dollar idea. And yeah, there probably will be pronoun jokes – I just hope they’re the well-intentioned kind!
10. Duloc’s version of Crypto would be so funny.
This one could totally involve Donkey falling for some Far, Far Away version of a Crypto scam, complete with him losing all his “money.” Dragon would stand by him no matter what. Oh, and it was the Big Bad Wolf that got him involved in it in the first place.
11. This one seems irresistible.
Will it be funny? Who knows. Is it basically inevitable, based on Shrek’s long history of making this exact kind of joke? Absolutely. You can almost hear that line coming straight from Lord Farquaad himself (if he wasn’t, you know, super dead).
12. I know we just talked about ‘DulockDash,’ but…
I fear OgreEats might be an even better joke. Maybe Shrek and Fiona started their own swamp-food delivery service and are in a fierce rivalry with whoever owns DulocDash? Yeah, I think we’re onto something here. Yum, mud-covered snails delivered right to your door.
13. I think the Twitter re-brand might ruin this joke.
I know Twitter is called ‘X’ now, but this joke is still so fantastic. X choosing to ditch the iconography of that little blue bird probably means this joke won’t happen, but imagine how perfectly Disney Princess-esque it would be!
14. I’m too old to understand Fortnite jokes.
But I do know a Fortnite or Five Nights at Freddy’s joke would hit with younger kids, so we gotta include that one in the list. Plus, Shrek getting mad at “Fortnight” being a measure of time is pretty on-brand for him.
15. I genuinely hope so.
Not to be dramatic, but man do we need a new Shrek film now more than ever. The next generation needs to understand our memes! We need a whole new crop of jokes to turn into trends! We need this dopamine so badly.
16. Can’t even blame them.
I’m sure those professional writers have more complex ideas for Shrek 5 than anything we could come up with for a silly thread, but still…some of these ideas are too good to leave on social media. Someone call Dreamworks, STAT!
