Lilly Jay’s life unexpectedly hit the spotlight when she went through a divorce from Ethan Slater. In a personal essay, the clinical psychologist opened up about how her split from the Wicked actor, with whom she shares a two-year-old son, affected both her life and career.
Although she doesn’t mention either of them by name, Lilly explains how her personal story became part of the media frenzy when Ethan moved on with Ariana Grande.
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Lilly Jay reflects on how the public divorce has affected her career
Lilly admitted that it’s hard to really know how much the public drama affected her career. But she’s noticed little signs here and there, like how one job offer seemed to disappear after the tabloids ran another story.
“There’s also the patient who scheduled a first appointment but then just vanished,” she mentioned.
Lilly Jay criticizes the public scrutiny around her divorce
Lilly also shared how frustrating it is sometimes. “On my darker days, I railed against the unfairness of a public divorce,” she wrote. “I even asked my therapist, ‘Who would trust a cardiologist who had a heart attack because they never got an EKG?’”
Lilly talks about the different public lives she and Ethan led
She also reflected on how different their worlds were when it came to privacy. “My partner’s life was all about social media and exposure, while mine depended on privacy,” Lilly explained.
“We tried to find a balance, especially when we talked about how much of our lives he would share online. It was tricky, but we made it work — for a while.”
Lilly shares the unexpected turns in her life, including her divorce
Lilly mentioned that things didn’t turn out the way she thought they would. She finalized her divorce with her high school sweetheart in September, two years after having their son in August 2022.
Lilly recalls her difficult pregnancy and how it contrasts with now
Looking back, she shared how she never expected the challenges she’d face, saying, “During my pregnancy, I had never felt happier nor more aware of how precarious happiness could be.”
She also recalled surviving preeclampsia, a serious birth complication. “I survived it all, and suddenly, our family was whole. It’s a story of worrying in the wrong direction.”
She moved to another country, unaware of the growing distance in her marriage
While she understood that the postpartum period could be tough on marriages, Lilly felt confident at the time. “I moved with my 2-month-old baby and my husband to a new country to support his career,” she explained. “I was so caught up in new motherhood, I didn’t see the growing distance between us.”
Lilly Jay talks about coping with the public fallout of her marriage
Now, Lilly works through the difficult process of accepting the public nature of her divorce. “I tell myself there’s no shame in this,” she wrote.
“It’s been tough, but I’ve come to realize that, without the life I planned with my high school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is still out there for me and my son.”
Lilly emphasizes that her co-parenting with Ethan remains unchanged
Despite everything, Lilly made it clear that their co-parenting relationship is still strong. “Our partnership may have changed, but our love for our son never will,” she wrote. “We both love him 100 percent of the time, no matter how our parenting time is divided.”
Ethan opens up about the scrutiny surrounding his personal life
Ethan, too, spoke about how hard it is to deal with the public attention on his personal life. “It was difficult seeing people who don’t know what’s actually going on comment on things,” he told GQ in October.
“There were a lot of personal changes happening behind the scenes, and it was hard to see those things being twisted by the public.”
Ariana Grande defends Ethan Slater against negative press
Ariana Grande also stood by Ethan, defending his character in an interview with Vanity Fair in November. “There couldn’t be a less accurate depiction of a human being than the one that the tabloids spread about him,” she said.
“No one on this earth tries harder or spreads themselves thinner to be there for the people that he loves and cares about.”
It’s clear that Lilly Jay is doing her best to navigate the chaos and stay focused on what matters most — her son and her career. As she continues to heal and move forward, we can only hope things get easier for her.
