Being a so-called “girl dad” can be difficult. Not every dad understands how to navigate those tough and difficult conversations about getting older, bodies changing, and even dating. Most of the time, girls will look to their moms for these conversations, or maybe an older sister or a female friend. It just seems that some conversations are easier to have with people who can personally relate to the experiences and have gone through it themselves.
It happens, however, that some girls don’t have a mom, or another trusted female adult, to turn to.
Whether they’ve lost their mother, never knew her, or grow up in two-father homes, there are some girls that don’t have that female support in their household growing up.
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Some dads aren’t quite sure how to handle the process of girls’ “changing bodies.”
Some dads who are in charge of the household without a female support system often ask the internet for advice on parenting their daughters — especially when it comes to their changing bodies and menstruation.
Recently, one father took to Reddit to ask if he was “wrong” for the way he was parenting his children.
“I (50M) lost my wife ten years ago. It’s just me and my two kids N (17M) and E (F15), recently it caused a big stink with some family that my daughter does chores, but my son does not,” the father wrote.
He said the reason he has his daughter do chores and not his son is because he spends more on his daughter.
“I explained it’s because I have to spend extra on my daughter each month not only for her extracurriculars but for her monthly supplies, so it‘s my way of having her pay me back. She cleans the shared living spaces and bathrooms in our apartment and cooks four meals a week,” he said.
Even family members have approached this dad in the past about his controversial rules.
“My brother said I spend twice as much on my son’s extracurriculars and by my logic, he should have to do chores too. I explained he didn’t because I feel his could help him get into college but hers were just a hobby in my opinion,” the dad added.
When his daughter overheard his conversation, she was absolutely furious.
“E overheard me say this and was very upset. She started refusing to do chores because it isn’t fair. I told her she’d still be doing her chores and life isn’t fair so stop being a brat, or I’d refuse to pay for her extracurricular stuff or pads. I wouldn’t actually do that, but I was mad when I said it,” he wrote.
He claimed that his daughter was so angry and upset, that she took off and went to stay with her aunt and uncle.
“She packed a bag and took off. She’s been staying with my sister who called me an abusive a—hole when I demanded she send E home. My brother and sister are coddling her and I’m furious,” he said.
He asked the Reddit thread if he was “wrong” for the way in which he was choosing to parent his daughter.
One person said he is 100% an a—hole.
“Not for expecting your child(ren) to pitch in around the house, but for the sexism and the godawful manner you’ve approached this with. Withholding pads from a teenage girl as punishment? What? Expecting your son will go to college, but basically writing her off? The 50s called, they don’t want you either,” said one user in the comments.
Many people agreed and said the dad was so wrong, especially because he is acting like his daughter “chooses” to have her period.
“Both kids have extracurriculars. Both kids cost you money. It just sounds like [you’re] playing favorites and devaluing your own daughter’s activities. Your daughter will learn to resent you,” one person added.
Most users agreed that nothing about this situation was fair for the daughter.
“This cant be real…..YTA [you’re the a-hole]….you make your daughter [do] chores because you have to pay for period supplies monthly…..which she literally cannot help? ” another user said.
Many said that the dad’s attitude was setting a bad example for his son.
“Think of the example you’re giving your son: women do chores and men’s hobbies are more valid because it might give you a shot to college / a better job,” one user pointed out.
Overall, people thought the whole situation was harmful for everyone involved.
“You should not be making your daughter your housekeeper just because she is female, it’s beyond disgusting and degrading! Regardless of whether you consider her extracurriculars as just hobbies or something to progress her college application, she will learn valuable life skills from them.
“You should also be making your son do chores. What’s he going to do when he goes to college? Are you going to pay for his apartment and a housekeeper so he never has to do a day’s housework in his life? He will most likely have to get a job at some point in his life or be around people who aren’t you and will need to know social etiquette,” one user said.
After seeing the thousands of comments that disagreed with him, the dad spoke out again.
“My son plays football and baseball while you [ sic ] daughter is in choir and a dance group, so yes I do think my son has a better chance at getting a scholarship,” he wrote.
His explanation didn’t seem to sit too well with other Reddit users and he has officially been voted an a—hole by the online community.
Since the post was published, it has generated over 1,400 comments, with most users condemning the dad’s actions.
What do you think? Is he 100% wrong?
