Some would say the surest way to make a fool of yourself is to try to predict the future, but that seldom stops anybody from trying anyway. And if anything, it’s only gotten harder in recent years. I mean, who could have seen 2020 coming?
This kind of suggests that maybe we should keep an open mind about what 2021 has in store. We’re not even three full months in so far and it’s already been a doozy.
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Maybe that’s why there are preparedness guidelines on the CDC website in case of zombies.
Now, a zombie outbreak does seem pretty unlikely.
Even in 2021, it’s a stretch, largely because zombies aren’t real and the dead don’t rise from the grave to walk the Earth again. It might be good for a fright on screen, but it just doesn’t happen in real life. Even a Halloween zombie flash mob seems highly unlikely these days. But then, flash mobs are so 2009.
Nevertheless, a zombie apocalypse is something that famous prognosticator Nostradamus predicted for 2021.
From his viewpoint back in the 16th century, Nostradamus’s quatrain regarding our current year sounds pretty dismal.
The fortune teller wrote: “Few young people: half−dead to give a start. Dead through spite, he will cause the others to shine, And in an exalted place some great evils to occur: Sad concepts will come to harm each one, Temporal dignified, the Mass to succeed. Fathers and mothers dead of infinite sorrows, Women in mourning, the pestilent she−monster: The Great One to be no more, all the world to end.”
Yeah. It’s easy to see where the zombie thing comes from.
But why the heck would the Centers for Disease Control seize on Nostradamus’s prediction when there’s already a pandemic raging?
That serious and august body has enough on its hands right now, don’t you think? Well, sure — and that’s also the point of this: to help people get ready for unexpected situations like hurricanes or, you know, widespread disease outbreaks.
“Wonder why zombies, zombie apocalypse, and zombie preparedness continue to live or walk dead on a CDC website? Well as it turns out what first began as a tongue-in-cheek campaign to engage new audiences with preparedness messages has proven to be a very effective platform,” the CDC’s website reads.
Yeah, it’s not about the zombies. It’s about preparing for *any* emergency.
The CDC’s guidelines do live up to the tongue-in-cheek billing.
“First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp,” they advise.
But they’re also serious.
Among the supplies they recommend you have in your kit are (and we quote):
Water (1 gallon per person per day)
Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)
The emergency kit is only half the battle, however. There’s also the matter of making an emergency plan.
“This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency,” the CDC website reads.
They recommend four particular elements to a good emergency plan.
1. “Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area.”
“Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information,” the website says.
2. “Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane.”
“Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.”
3. “Identify your emergency contacts.”
“Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.”
4. “Plan your evacuation route.”
“When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.”
The CDC also maintains that it would treat a zombie outbreak like any other disease outbreak.
“CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation,” the website reads. “Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).”
Bottom line, even if you’re preparing specifically for zombies to come slow-marching up your driveway, you’re still going to be prepared for other more likely, less Nostradamus-predicted scenarios. And that’s what makes this exercise so worthwhile.
Check out more on the CDC’s website .
