Tinder

13+ Bizarre Online Dating Profiles That Prove True Love Is Dead

Dating really isn't like it used to be.

Our parents met at college football games and New Year's Eve bar parties, but in the age of technology, the act of meeting people organically is obsolete.

You can sometimes get lucky on dating sites—once you've waded through a horrifying sea of the strangest people you've ever seen in your life.

Skull Boy

Okcupid

This is maybe one of those photos that you don't put online as your dating site profile picture.

Maybe one of those photos that you don't show to anyone, actually.

Frenemy

Plenty Of Fish

What a coincidence, the first thing that people usually notice about ME is MY ninja sword.

I love how convenient it is for the internet to tell me who my enemies are before I meet them.

Bad Name Betty

OkCupid

Your 59% match with Lydia includes a 110% chance of waking up the next morning with some odd sores in odd places.

A True Gentleman

OkCupid

I may come across as a party pooper here, but when you're just getting to know someone, I don't think it's necessary to know how many times their friend's mom saw their ding dong. Just a thought.

Kern Dergs

Tinder

Profile pictures are an expression of one's individuality, and I have to admit, Kern Derg girl is pretty unique.

At least he's got great credit.

Tinder

I'm as big of a Princess Tiana fan as the next person but...I'm just confused?

Eyes On The Prize

Tinder

As a Creative Writing graduate, I can say with absolute certainty that despite outside opinion, you'll be able to afford that butt tattoo. Live your dreams girlfriend.

Something's Fishy

Tinder

I think I'll pass on fish lips, though with that 1979 Ford, it'll truly be a loss.

Did Somebody Say Happy Holidays?

Tinder

Bill's greatest strength in a relationship? His girlfriend never steals his sweaters.

Balance Is Key

Tinder

At least he's honest, so you know what you're getting into right away (if you get that far).

Is this a hostage video screenshot?

OkCupid

Online dating is the perfect place to meet friends, lovers, and to hire someone to murder your greatest enemy. Three birds, one stone.

Nothing says romance like Neurotoxins and 9/11.

OkCupid

Sorry ladies, looks like he's taken.

My Bloody Valentine

Tinder

There's mild self deprecation, and then there's this guy.

What Hat?

OkCupid

Who needs 'leaving a little to the imagination?' That's old news. The new trend is to be so literal that the truth hits you in the face like a rock.

Personality Size Matters

Tinder

When it comes to personality, you either go big or go home.

Gnome Alone

OkCupid

To be fair, there was obviously effort put in here. He's striking that Tyra Banks smize, there's a romantic fire on in the background, a luxurious pillow to lounge on, and that glorious lawn ornament centerpiece.

Men just don't try like this anymore.

A Girl Who Knows What She Likes

Tinder

Simple; concise; to the point. That my friends, is how you find your niche audience.

Let's Taco-Bout It

Tinder

Maybe he's from a family of musical taco ducks? Don't judge a book by its cover.

I'll Never Let Go

Tinder

I can't really argue with this logic. Though maybe if somebody moved over and let Jack Dawson onto the floating door in order to save his life, maybe karma would've been kinder.

Call Me Apples

Tinder

There's so much going on here. How far up that tree is she? Why did her parents name her Brandon? How much training did this apple skill require? Is she single and ready to mingle?

I think I'm taking a break from dating.