13+ Bizarre Online Dating Profiles That Prove True Love Is Dead

Dating really isn't like it used to be.

Our parents met at college football games and New Year's Eve bar parties, but in the age of technology, the act of meeting people organically is obsolete.

You can sometimes get lucky on dating sites—once you've waded through a horrifying sea of the strangest people you've ever seen in your life.

Skull Boy


This is maybe one of those photos that you don't put online as your dating site profile picture.

Maybe one of those photos that you don't show to anyone, actually.


Plenty Of Fish

What a coincidence, the first thing that people usually notice about ME is MY ninja sword.

I love how convenient it is for the internet to tell me who my enemies are before I meet them.

Bad Name Betty


Your 59% match with Lydia includes a 110% chance of waking up the next morning with some odd sores in odd places.

A True Gentleman


I may come across as a party pooper here, but when you're just getting to know someone, I don't think it's necessary to know how many times their friend's mom saw their ding dong. Just a thought.

Kern Dergs


Profile pictures are an expression of one's individuality, and I have to admit, Kern Derg girl is pretty unique.

At least he's got great credit.


I'm as big of a Princess Tiana fan as the next person but...I'm just confused?

Eyes On The Prize


As a Creative Writing graduate, I can say with absolute certainty that despite outside opinion, you'll be able to afford that butt tattoo. Live your dreams girlfriend.

Something's Fishy


I think I'll pass on fish lips, though with that 1979 Ford, it'll truly be a loss.

Did Somebody Say Happy Holidays?


Bill's greatest strength in a relationship? His girlfriend never steals his sweaters.

Balance Is Key


At least he's honest, so you know what you're getting into right away (if you get that far).

Is this a hostage video screenshot?


Online dating is the perfect place to meet friends, lovers, and to hire someone to murder your greatest enemy. Three birds, one stone.

Nothing says romance like Neurotoxins and 9/11.


Sorry ladies, looks like he's taken.

My Bloody Valentine


There's mild self deprecation, and then there's this guy.

What Hat?


Who needs 'leaving a little to the imagination?' That's old news. The new trend is to be so literal that the truth hits you in the face like a rock.

Personality Size Matters


When it comes to personality, you either go big or go home.

Gnome Alone


To be fair, there was obviously effort put in here. He's striking that Tyra Banks smize, there's a romantic fire on in the background, a luxurious pillow to lounge on, and that glorious lawn ornament centerpiece.

Men just don't try like this anymore.

A Girl Who Knows What She Likes


Simple; concise; to the point. That my friends, is how you find your niche audience.

Let's Taco-Bout It


Maybe he's from a family of musical taco ducks? Don't judge a book by its cover.

I'll Never Let Go


I can't really argue with this logic. Though maybe if somebody moved over and let Jack Dawson onto the floating door in order to save his life, maybe karma would've been kinder.

Call Me Apples


There's so much going on here. How far up that tree is she? Why did her parents name her Brandon? How much training did this apple skill require? Is she single and ready to mingle?

I think I'm taking a break from dating.

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