Alright, let’s do this. Astrology signs as vodka cocktails: an article.
I decided to @ my followers on Twitter to group-think what they think the drink of their sign would be. The answers I got? Well, you just need to see them.
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Aquarius (January 20 — February 18)
Let’s kick things off with Casey , who said it best:
“Aquarians are Moscow Mules and I will not hear otherwise. Classy but not pretentious.”
Aquarius, I dub you the Moscow Mule.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Nicole expressed a preference for fruity, blended drinks. They’re light, airy, and sweet, just like a Pisces!
Let’s go with a Berry Sip. It’s not blended, but it is fruity, sweet, and light, thanks to the raspberries.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Aries is a Vodka Red Bull.
Every Aries knows why this choice was made. Everyone who has ever had the honor of meeting an Aries knows why it was made. It explains itself. Thank you.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Samantha brought us the perfect drink for a stubborn, passionate Taurus: “I’m a Taurus and I’d pair a lemon drop martini with blueberry vodka”
Ah yes, never settling for something less than unique — that’s the Taurus way. Taurus, you are a Blueberry Lemon Drop.
BONUS ANSWER from Ana: “A Long Island Iced Tea, cause she’s messy, but you won’t know what hit you until you’re puking from a second-story balcony at a mountain lodge in Kananaskis.”
Poetry.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Alright. Geminis, you are the most chaotic lot. Why? Because every Gemini I talked to said, “ew” to the concept of vodka.
So I googled. And according to Martha Stewart, there’s a drink called “The Gemini” made with grapefruit juice, St Germaine liqueur, vodka, and Prosecco.
Thank you, Martha, you beautiful Leo.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
A Cancer is an empathetic, kind, home-based kinda person. So we went with something that’s cozy: a Pumpkin Spice Lebowski.
Made with vodka, coffee liqueur, heavy cream, and pumpkin pie spice, it’ll remind you of home in seconds.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Alright, Leos. Let’s do this. Caitlin said: “Leos are the vodka-soaked watermelon of life.”
First of all, that is correct. So, Leos, you are a Vodka Watermelon cocktail, garnished with mint.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
“Bold, straightforward, basically impossible to mess up. Virgoriffic, imo,” Jess said. As a fellow Virgo, I agree.
Alright. Something bold and straightforward, and impossible to mess up? Well, that sounds like Vodka Martini to me.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Reagan went with something sweet for a Libra, like a daiquiri or a peach moscato.
Well, the words of Nicki Minaj: “MYX Moscato and Vodka, Imma mix it.”
Libra, you are a Peach And Raspberry Moscato Punch.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Sam came up with an answer truly fit for a Scorpio: “I love a classicly fruity drink or anything that looks dark and chaotic but actually tastes sweet and delicious; a frozen peach bellini or a vodka cran.”
Something that looks dark, but is actually sweet? Scorpio, you’re a Cherry-Cranberry Vodka.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Scott brought us the perfect answer for a Sag: “All I ever drink is a Ceasar….extra “
A Caesar is a classic Canadian drink. It’s Clamato Juice (clam + tomato juice), vodka, and Worcestershire sauce, usually served with a celery stalk and a salted rim.
It’s a Canadian Bloody Mary, but spicy. Go ahead and swap that Clamato for regular tomato juice if you’re not into clams.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Mel had the single funniest answer for a Capricorn: “I’m a Capricorn & am always labelled as “the [expletive] in themed horoscopes…..so just give me a shot of vodka that I can throw in someone’s face.”
However, we do also have a runner-up: Jen said Capricorns are a White Russian. “Practical, self-reliant, no frills, what you see is what you get. Just like [with] Capricorn.”
