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Writer Pens A Letter To Those Poor Souls Wearing Shorts During The Polar Vortex

The polar vortex has millions of Americans yearning for Spring, except for these guys who apparently think this is shorts weather.

The Polar Vortex

The polar vortex is in full effect across much of the United States. Temperatures in the mid-west have plunged well before 0 degrees. In Mount Carroll, Ill., the temperature was -38 degrees Thursday morning, setting a new record for lowest reading in the state, ever. TL;DR: It's very, very cold.

White Dudes in Shorts

But all of this isn't stopping dudes from dudes and wearing shorts outside in the vortex. Lots of these heroes have been captured on camera and posted on social media for all to mock. Like this guy in New York.

Why, Brad? Why?

What are you doing, Brad? What do you have to prove? Who hurt you and made you do this?

Cargo Shorts?!

It's hard to decide what's worse: wearing shorts in this weather or wearing cargo shorts in general.

You're the Only One

Notice how there is no one else around in this photo? That's because it's too damn cold to be outside, let alone outside in shorts.

That's Called 'Snow'

See that white stuff stacked ankle high? That's called snow. It's literally freezing water. It's a good sign you shouldn't be wearing shorts.

Full Exposure

Not only is this brave soul wearing shorts, but he's paired it with the shortest socks he owns making sure the entire leg from knee to ankle is exposed.

Only White Guys

Why is it white males in all of these photos? Do they have some sort of genetic mutation that allows them not to feel cold in the bottom half of their legs? Science should explore this.

It's Not All Jokes

This polar vortex isn't all laughs and giggles though. Eight people have died so far from the extreme cold, including a college student in Iowa. It's dangerous, for real. So please, for the love of god, but some pants on.

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