Now, this is definitely not going to be true of all relationships. I know in my own, we each have our strengths and weaknesses, we each put in our time in different areas, we both get time to goof off and have fun. I do dishes and laundry, she does most of the cooking and organizing. It is, by and large, a fair system.
Getty Images | Frederic Cirou
It's Official, Survey Shows That Husbands Stress Out Their Wives More Than Kids Do
Still, it's easy to see where one partner can start feeling like the scales are tipping against them, and without a doubt, I'm sure in many relationships that's the case.
Unsplash | Edward Cisneros
But are wives actually doing the majority of the work, and are husbands actually causing more? Because it sure seems to feel that way to many wives and moms out there.
Wives are more stressed out by their husbands than their kids these days.
We see it on the screen on shows like Family Guy and The Simpsons, where husbands are portrayed as man-children who get into zany escapades.
Their wives have to bail them out and clean up after them, and viewers at home laugh because it’s relatable.
It's a classic trope, but it's not nearly as amusing in real life as it is on TV. So how do we know this is legit?
A survey conducted by Today asked over 7000 women about the stresses in their lives, and the results have audiences nodding their heads.
In general Today found that mothers are extremely stressed, with an average stress level rated at a whopping 8.5 out of 10.
But the real shocker came from the details of the survey.
A massive 46% of moms say their husbands cause the bulk of stress in their lives, rather than their kids.
What’s worse is that the biggest complaint that came from these women described their husbands as big kids rather than equal partners in their relationship.
Gyfcat
Yikes! So TV isn’t as make-belief as it seems to be.
The majority of the moms surveyed also said that household duties weren't being shared equally.
Imgur | jonnyVulture
Three-quarters of moms with partners said that they did most of the chores and parenting duties.
Plus, one in five said that not having enough support from their partner caused daily stress.
Unsplash | @kaimantha
Pile that on top of the fact that women have full lives outside of their domestic duties, and it becomes extremely overwhelming to balance — to the point where they may have to drop activities they enjoy just to keep up. This leads to even more heightened levels of stress.
It's a vicious cycle.
The survey gathered up some anonymous comments in which moms vented some of their frustrations with their husbands.
Reddit | gilsolano12
"I am exhausted emotionally and physically when my husband comes home," wrote one mom. "He feels like another job."
"Even though I have a committed spouse, I still feel like all the pressure is on ME to get everything done," wrote another.
Tenor
"I work just as many hours as my husband does, but yet I do all the scheduling."
"Often times it seems like I am the only adult in my house," another said. "My husband and daughter compete with me for my attention."
Reddit | [deleted]
"I feel like I am figuring out a lot about parenting on my own without the input of my husband," a different mom wrote. "This stresses me out because when something goes wrong, it's all my fault."
However, a different Today survey that focused on husbands and dads found that most thought they were doing more than ever for their kids without receiving any acknowledgement of their efforts.
Imgur | cutecarchardodon
Two-thirds of the 1,500 dads in that survey said that they just want to hear a "good job" from time to time to show their efforts are appreciated. Half of the dads in that survey also said that they split child care duties evenly with their wives.
According to therapist and father of two, Hal Runkel, the big speed bump for most couples isn't so much the kids or the chores but the marriage.
Reddit | evsoul
"It's easy to blame your stress on another person," he told Today. "Marriage is emotional weightlifting. It's exercise. And when you choose to exercise, sometimes it feels miserable. I don't believe what wives really want most are husbands who are acquiescent and stress-free."
He also said that his own marriage didn't come without some hurdles to overcome.
He said that whenever he got home from one of his many trips for work, his wife would say "It was easier when you weren't here. But she always follows up with, 'That doesn't mean it was better.'"
h/t Today
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