36 Pics That Scream 'Me As A Wife'

I will try my best to think about the good of two people. However, when it comes to food, I have a me-first mentality. Sorry in advance!

I'm going to have many questions you should be ready to answer. Yes, they might be ridiculous, but it is 'til death do us part...

As I mentioned before, animals come first. If my cat has taken your preferred seat, you will do well not to disturb him.

I just really hope it never comes to this. To be totally honest, if I have to help someone out like this, I'm willing. Are they all this doomed?

If a husband says that he's "not in the mood," chances are a wife got there long before he did. Brace yourself for a volcanic eruption, people.

If baking is on the agenda, you might as well spice it up a bit, right? Be prepared for a mildly buzzed wife... plus 100% burnt bottoms.

If I have to share a bed, there is no guarantee you will not get squished — or even have an adequate amount of blankets.

If you expected a chef, you should know that will never be me. Here's hoping that neither of us end up starving. Thank goodness for delivery.

If you put a ring on this finger, you got yourself a lover of games. Except for games involving Nerf guns, because I'm too much of an easy target.

I have trouble sharing things that I love, and doughnuts are one of those things. In the event that I actually share with you, it's love!

You know what the best thing about having a partner is? A partner makes it acceptable to have four cats instead of two! I always want the maximum number of socially acceptable pets.

Well, they do say "happy wife, happy life." Isn't marriage really all about sharing anyway? I'm pretty sure I won't be that bad — but, well... I can't promise anything.

I've also heard that marriage is about working together. If it was a joint effort, my name should be somewhere in the credits.

Watching shows is a great way to bond, and who would want to mess up that opportunity?

P.S. I can, but you can't. It's more fun that way!

And by that I mean, I will eat your fries, but don't you dare touch my dessert!

I like to help every animal in need, so don't be surprised if our house resembles a scene from Dr. Doolittle. I don't take no for an answer.

Let's be honest, no one — and I mean no one — actually likes arugula!

There's no cheese on those nachos because that line is cheesy enough!

No words needed. Eyeliner/brows runs on its own time!

It's not passive aggressive if it's funny, right?

This girl knows that a good Cabernet Sauvignon is a way better investment than an expensive hair mask!

Beyoncé knows what's up. If you can't treat me right you can move yourself to the left, to the left... and right out the door.

These days, we don't mark our territory — we tag it!

It seems like a good idea...until he pees all over it

I already do this to my boyfriend, I'm surprised he still falls for it.

"Change the air filters, we'll get together, have a few laughs." Well, I suppose she will, at least. And that's still less of an ordeal than anything John McClane had to go through.

I guess it's a helpful reminder of what he'll spend most of his time doing while he's wearing them. Or it's just showing a healthy appreciation for farts in general. Whatever works.

Also, I can't stress enough that no household is complete without a giant Mario statue. I mean, how else can you get that peace of mind that your home won't be invaded by evil turtles?

Especially with the little happy and sad faces for that extra personal touch. Other than the jersey, though, I'm also kind of curious about what makes the other things bad for work.

I feel as if it's biased toward a certain result, though. I know it's a serious accusation but sometimes you've just gotta go with your gut, you know?