Anyone who has ever walked down the aisle will tell you that planning a wedding can be incredibly stressful. There are quite literally a million and one things to consider, and if you aren’t strategic — the whole house of cards can come tumbling down.
But one thing that no bride or groom ever foresees is potentially having to un-invite a friend or family member from the wedding. Unfortunately for Reddit user Quackers4Quackers, that’s precisely what happened on her wedding day.
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Planning for a wedding can be incredibly stressful.
There’s a lot to consider: everything from booking a venue, to securing your vendors, and of course — finalizing the guest list.
But as much as every bride and groom tries to anticipate bumps in the road before they happen, there are some things that you simply cannot plan for.
For instance, when you’re all of a sudden faced with the difficult decision of having to un-invite a friend/family member who has already received a wedding invitation.
Reddit user Quackers4Quackers explained that a friend of her fiancé is incredibly religious.
Which normally wouldn’t be a concern at all, except that his religious beliefs lean heavily toward the more fundamentalist side of the scale. The bride-to-be goes on to say that he’s anti-LGBTQ+, anti-abortion, anti-Catholic, as well as a COVID-19 conspiracy theorist to boot.
“In person, he isn’t too aggressive about these views,” Quackers4Quackers said. “But his Facebook feed is incredibly aggressive and cruel towards these people and issues.”
After thinking about the decision long and hard, Quackers4Quackers and her fiancé decided to rescind their wedding invitation.
The bride said that she not only planned on having several members from the LGBTQ+ community in attendance but that one of her closest friends also had an abortion when she was 18 years old.
She said that she simply couldn’t trust her husband’s friend to keep his mouth shut or that he’d be able to keep his opinions to himself. Quackers4Quackers was also seriously concerned that this friend wouldn’t be willing to follow the proper COVID-19 protocols.
The bride and groom opted to let their friend know he was no longer welcome via text.
Quackers4Quackers explained that she felt this was the gentlest and least intrusive way to break the news. She wasn’t trying to be indirect, but rather to be mindful of the friend’s feelings.
The couple also contacted the man’s wife to explain the situation, and to let her know that her invitation was still in good standing , should she choose to accept it.
As you might imagine, both the friend and his wife were pretty upset at the news.
Both he and his wife were incredibly taken aback. The groom’s friend said that what hurt the most was that neither the bride nor groom attempted to talk to him about their concerns ahead of time.
Had they done so, perhaps he could have put their worries to rest. The friend then went on to assure them that he wouldn’t have been disrespectful or caused a scene in public.
Which raises an interesting question: what is the best way to tackle un-inviting a wedding guest?
According to Sarah and Anna from The Wedding Society, they believe that being honest and direct is the best approach:
“There’s no real way to get around the pain of uninviting or being uninvited to a wedding,” Sarah and Anna explain via Bored Panda. “The only thing that eases the sting is making it as kind as possible and trying to see your situation from the other person’s perspective.”
You could also avoid the ordeal altogether by being incredibly picky when it comes to your guest list.
Perhaps if Quackers4Quackers and her fiancé had paid a bit more attention to detail when formulating their guest list, they could’ve avoided this incredibly uncomfortable situation entirely.
What are your thoughts; did Quackers4Quackers overreact or was she in the right to un-invite her husband’s friend to the wedding? How would you have handled the situation differently? Leave a comment and let us know!
