Big families can be a wonderful thing. It means you always have people on your side and always have a lot of people to have over for the holidays. Therefore, there are some upsides to big families.
There are, also, downsides to having big families. They can be judgy and sometimes even toxic when they are together too long and too much.
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One male Reddit user said that his big family can sometimes be rather toxic.
“I don’t know how to say this but all those women I mentioned above are into teasing and joking. They’ve formed a unit (which I admit is kind of toxic) and they’d tease and roast every new woman that enters the family by marriage by setting up “tests” to see if they deserve to be part of the family,” he said.
When he introduced his girlfriend—now wife—to the family, they did the ritual.
“I made it clear that I didn’t want any of the women in the unit to come at her or harass her not even with a single word. They went behind my back and roasted her looks and job and I discovered they’ve been doing it on Facebook,” he continued.
So, he made them all apologize to her.
“I had them apologize one by one after they gave the ‘we’re just testing the water to see if she’s capable to be part of the family’ excuse.
They didn’t want to apologize but once I said I wouldn’t invite any of the unit unless they apologize including my mom everyone immediately apologized and brought gifts for my wife,” he said.
Then, his wedding came around.
“There was talk about the women in the family wanting to pull a prank on my wife by wearing white and called it the “ultimate test” to see how my wife react. My brother warned me so I announced that if any one of them showed up in white I’d have them kicked out including mom,” he said.
At first, they said it wasn’t true at all. But, at the wedding, this turned out to be a lie.
“They showed up to my wedding one by one wearing white dresses and each and every one of them was told to leave after they tried giving excuses by either making scenes or getting the men involved. The senior women of the unit who are Mom and aunts also showed up in white but refused to leave,” he wrote.
The Reddit user threw them all out of the wedding. All of them.
“My wife was hurt beyond measure but the women in the family were pissed. My cousin blasted me on social media later saying I excluded all the women from the wedding because my wife was so insecure she couldn’t handle another woman’s presence at her wedding,” he said.
Now, everyone is angry with the Reddit user.
“Mom said I took it too far by kicking them out because they were trying to get reaction from my wife to see if she was one of those “bridzillas” and were going to change soon as prank was over but I ruined my own and entire wedding by reacting so aggressively,” he added.
People on Reddit said that the OP wasn’t wrong in the slightest.
“Your family is toxic and I am so sad for your wife that they would do that, but also so happy for her that she has a husband who will support her and have her back.
I’m sorry your family tried to hijack your wedding for a power play, but you did the right thing, and your marriage will be stronger because of it,” one person said.
Others also applauded the Reddit user for standing up for his wife.
“This level of hazing has crossed the line to emotional abuse & blackmail. And that is probably understating it.
It’s very good you stood up for your spouse. You handled it well but emotional blackmailers use family to pressure the victims into compliance with the abuse,” one said.
One person said they would have thrown hands on sight.
“Whaaaaat is going on with the women in your family, and how did you come out so normal and with such healthy boundaries??? If I had been your wife I would have gotten into a fist fight with your mother and aunts by now so I commend her class and patience,” another said.
One said to cut them out entirely.
“Keep those women away from your wife.If going No Contact keeps you and your wife happy, do so.
Their behavior is toxic, dysfunctional, mentally/emotionally abusive, and traumatizing. I would not want to be around any of that bullsh*t, said another.
I will definitely have to agree with that.
