This isn’t your mom’s list of infuriating images.
That being said, if your mom’s the kind of person who compiles lists of infuriating images on the internet, that’s pretty cool. Your mom and I should grab coffee sometime.
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But that’s enough about your mom, let’s get into some images that’ll probably make your eye twitch.
1. I’ll start you off easily. At least with this one, you can see where they’re coming from, they just…forgot how words get read, I guess?
Unless they were actually meaning to say “Keep I’m Calm Batman Because,” like some kind of weird Batman-Yoda hybrid…
I’d totally watch that movie, who am I kidding?
2. Oh hey, that’s a nice gift card you’ve got there. It’d be a shame if somebody…made it out of paper, making sure you tore it in half the second you opened it.
Sure, you can still piece the thing back together, but it’s the principle of the thing!
3. Ever been in a conversation with someone and you just keep saying the same things to each other, but nobody’s getting anywhere?
You just want me to go to the Verizon store so you can sell me a screen protector and an extra charger, don’t you? I see your tricks.
4. I don’t know if this is on purpose or not, but it’s an abomination either way, and I don’t stand for it.
I mean, it could go a lot worse when trying to make a squirrel shaped like a crab, but we’re talking about toys here, not mad scientist genetic engineering.
5. I guess she just wanted to leave a little something…extra behind.
Apparently, this is how the wife of the guy who shared the photo leaves her gum packages, with a piece or two still in them. Who knows why.
6. This is me, literally every single time.
I also cut bread diagonally for some reason. My mom used to tell me it was because I was left-handed, but I think that was just her polite way of saying I’m an idiot.
7. This Wedding Crashers sequel is struggling because of the limited budget.
How has nobody made Wedding Crashers into a reality show yet, where you just show up at random weddings and either ruin them or make them better? Should I not be saying this? Should I pitch this to the video team?
8. I don’t know about you, but looking at this guy is making me pretty pist-off.
To be fair, I’m a pretty messy eater, so this is how the floor looks after nearly every meal I eat, but at least I keep it off the subway.
9. Now, I don’t put a whole lot of stock into fortune cookie fortunes, but if I pay for a whole meal from my Chinese place, they’d better not be bringing this kind of nonsense into my desserts.
10. This one’s a bit more subtle, but check out the times on all of these clocks.
I hope that you’re the kind of person who can just skim over this and not be bothered. Your life must be so carefree.
11. It would take every part of my willpower to not fix this for him.
Like…he has to know, right? Is he doing this just to bother me? Does he not have any feeling in his ear…crest? What’s that part of the ear called?
12. This has to be on purpose, right? I just…I wañt to fix it.
Also, I didñ’t even know that label makers had the optioñ to do this. This has just changed the game.
13. Who needs a living wage when you can just be born again?
I just…I get why you’d want to share your faith with people, but there has to be a classier way than by psyching people out with a fake generous tip. I can’t imagine that’s ever worked.
14. Pardon me, is this foot space taken?
Well alright then, if you’re not going to use it, let me just sliiiiiiide right in there.
Move over, manspreading, manstretching is the hot new trend in inconveniencing people on public transit.
15. This is not what you want to find when you grab your meal from the cafeteria.
It’s rich in vitamin Key.
Yep, that’s where we’ve apparently gotten to in terms of the level of joke in this article.
16. The only thing worse than a thief is a bad thief.
I’m also pretty rattled by the fact that a) this is also grammatically wrong, and b) it’s called “Timing is Everything” according to Shutterstock, which it’s totally not.
17. The trick to a good before-and-after is to not give you any kind of reference point for how things actually were before.
That’s why my weight loss progress pics are always headshots in the “before” section.
18. You literally had one job, vending machine.
It’s not like cans aren’t a standard size. Why in the world would this slot be too small? Is this a prank machine? Someone answer me!
19. The way to ingest candy responsibly is to wrap it up in so much nonsense that you actually burn more calories trying to open the damned thing than you gain eating it.
20. This gets worse and worse the longer you stare at it.
It just doesn’t make any sense at all. It’s like whoever designed this had seen a person once, but has a reasonable handle on how bikes are supposed to look.
21. I think at this point, they’re not Beats anymore, they’re just Beaten.
A more clever person would come up with a way to include Dr. Dre’s name into a pun, but clearly I’m just not up to that challenge.
22. When it turns out you’re the most infuriating thing about your whole life.
Which is also the caption of the 15 minutes I lie in bed at night before falling asleep.
23. There’s nothing more infuriating than someone running a scam before you get the chance to think of one.
Imagine trying to sell this story. “Officer, they hit me so hard I fell out of the door.” Nah, fam.
24. I’m not saying that this person got what was coming to them because they were wearing socks with sandals…but if the socks and sandals fit…
Except they don’t fit. They never fit. Stop doing this.
