Being a parent means that a lot of times in life, you are stuck making some seriously difficult decisions. Raising kids is no task for the weak-hearted. Sometimes, when you have more than one child to raise and parent, things can get rather messy at home. You have to make some difficult choices on certain things that could hurt or upset one child in order to make the other child happy.
This happens often with “blended families.”
Blended families are families that are “blended” when the parents, who have children from previous relationships and/or marriages, get married. Sometimes, step-siblings just don’t get along no matter how much their parents love each other.
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Blended families can be a tough parenting journey for many people.
These parents are trying to raise a family as an entire unit, but when some children feeling excluded, it can be challenging overall. Sometimes, as a parent, it leaves you in a tough spot.
Recently, one dad was faced with a serious issue at hand and turned to Reddit for advice.
The dad asked the popular social community if he was wrong for canceling dinner plans to celebrate with my daughter because my stepson was upset.
He says that his daughter (age 13) and stepson (age 11) have not gotten along since his daughter moved in.
“She had previously lived with her mother but I got default custody after her mother turned one of her 24-hour disappearing acts into a never coming back one.
My daughter and stepson go to the same middle school and were both running for student council VP,” he said.
Obviously, with step-siblings running against each other, things can get messy.
“There was tension in the house and my wife told my stepson that if he won we could go out to celebrate. My daughter asked if this applied to her as well since he wasn’t her only competitor and my wife said of course.
The campaign got pretty stressful for the both of them. Then the votes come in and my daughter wins by 4 votes,” he said.
Clearly, the stepson was a bit heartbroken that he lost the position.
“However, because somehow the one person who ran for treasurer this year dropped out because of grades, my stepson was offered that position.
He saw it as a really pitiful consolation prize and was angry that he had to take orders from my daughter.
I felt very bad for my stepson and he and his mother (who is also very Type A), was very upset, even though of course my wife congratulated my daughter,” he wrote.
His stepson, however, did not take the loss lightly.
“My stepson refused to be comforted by the fact that older kids get more easily elected because they know more people and his mother even offered to take her to her law office and give him some responsibilities, saying that was better experience than student council would ever be,” he wrote.
Unsure with what to do, the dad decided to not take the family to dinner to celebrate his daughter’s win.
“I finally tell my daughter that we weren’t going to be going to dinner because her stepbrother was very upset by the turn of events and we need to take his feelings into consideration. And that I was impolite to gloat.
That all happened Friday. My daughter ended up crying and even now, Sunday night, she still is mad at all of us,” he said.
He asked the Reddit community if he was wrong for canceling dinner for his daughter.
Overwhelmingly, the community said that yes, this dad is in fact a total a**hole.
“You broke a promise first of all. Which while minor to us adults, is a huge deal to kids. And also you showed your daughter that — even if incorrectly — you prefer your stepson to her. Ideally, you should’ve gone to dinner together like promised and then had a separate outing with the stepson to console him after his loss,” one person said.
People said the family should have stepped up to celebrate the daughter’s win.
“Your daughter worked her ass off to win the spot, and you let her whiny, jealous, sore-loser stepbrother ruin the celebration for her accomplishment. You showed your daughter that her hard work and accomplishments mean nothing to you and showed your stepson that throwing a fit will get him whatever the f-k he wants no matter who it hurts. Terrible parenting. Absolute garbage,” another added.
It seems that this dad just can’t win with anyone.
Overall, people agreed that by trying to spare the stepson’s feelings, this family ruined the daughter’s win.
“Yeah man I’m a teenager myself and I absolutely hate when parents do this shit to us.
[Y]es I sound biased and I’m sorry but [expletive] she worked to get there and I strongly believe the daughter’s hard work being rewarded should be first priority,” another user said.
What do you think? Could this family have handled the situation differently?
