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Boyfriend Takes Helpfulness Too Far At Holiday Dinner

by Alfe Mercado
2 years ago
in Dating & Relationships, People & Society
Reading Time: 9 mins read
A A
Shutterstock | 2117717

Shutterstock | 2117717

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A woman’s boyfriend is known for his eagerness to help others. However, his helpfulness causes tension when he attends a family dinner for the first time. Despite being told to only assist if asked, he constantly interferes with his girlfriend’s sister-in-law, who is legally blind. His girlfriend’s brother finally demands that he leave. The boyfriend is upset that his girlfriend did not defend him. Was she wrong not to stand up for him? Read on to find out.

When helpfulness becomes intrusive: A cautionary tale

Image credit: throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf
throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf

Navigating helpfulness at a holiday dinner with a blind host

Image credit: throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf
throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf

Overbearing boyfriend can’t resist micromanaging holiday dinner preparations ‍♂️

Image credit: throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf
throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf

Overbearing boyfriend tries to take over kitchen, annoys guests.

Image credit: throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf
throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf

Over-eager boyfriend causes tension at holiday dinner

Image credit: throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf
throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf

When helpfulness becomes intrusive, boundaries must be respected

Image credit: throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf
throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf

Mother’s playful guessing game goes awry with boyfriend’s interference

Image credit: throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf
throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf

A helpful boyfriend’s prank annoys at holiday dinner

Image credit: throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf
throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf

Boyfriend embarrasses girlfriend’s niece during holiday gathering

Image credit: throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf
throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf

Overbearing boyfriend gets kicked out of holiday dinner ‍♂️

Image credit: throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf
throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf

Defending a helpful boyfriend at a holiday dinner gone wrong

Image credit: throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf
throwawayhelpfulbf | throwawayhelpfulbf

Helpful boyfriend ruins holiday dinner

A woman’s boyfriend takes his helpfulness too far at a holiday dinner, causing tension and ultimately getting kicked out. Despite being warned to only help if asked, the boyfriend interferes with the cooking and even tries to take over chopping vegetables from a legally blind hostess. After dinner, his attempts to help with a game played by the children go too far, leading to a demand for him to leave. The woman is left wondering if she should have defended her boyfriend’s actions. Read on for the comments and reactions to this holiday disaster.

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NTA for kicking out insufferable, patronizing boyfriend with savior complex ‍♀️

Image credit: PeppermintMocha5 | PeppermintMocha5
PeppermintMocha5 | PeppermintMocha5

Boyfriend crosses the line at dinner, deemed ableist and disrespectful. NTA.

Image credit: mrslII | mrslII
mrslII | mrslII

Commenter calls out boyfriend’s condescending behavior and lack of social cues

Image credit: Gyzener | Gyzener
Gyzener | Gyzener

Boyfriend’s ‘helpfulness’ stems from ego and control issues.

Image credit: Captain-Obvious--- | Captain-Obvious---
Captain-Obvious— | Captain-Obvious—

Disabled commenters criticize ableist behavior at holiday dinner.

Image credit: KittySnowpants | KittySnowpants
KittySnowpants | KittySnowpants

Benevolent ableism and uneven power display lead to conflict. NTA.

Image credit: EnvironmentalImage9 | EnvironmentalImage9
EnvironmentalImage9 | EnvironmentalImage9

Find a more emotionally adept partner NTA

Image credit: 2ndgenerationcatlady | 2ndgenerationcatlady
2ndgenerationcatlady | 2ndgenerationcatlady

Anxious ‘hero’ Ryan can’t resist compulsive ‘helping’ at dinner ‍♂️

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Boyfriend’s ‘helpfulness’ is just a self-esteem booster ‍♂️

Image credit: SaraG1973 | SaraG1973
SaraG1973 | SaraG1973

Boyfriend crosses the line at holiday dinner, earns YTA judgement.

Image credit: themeatbridge | themeatbridge
themeatbridge | themeatbridge

Red flags! OP is NTA but dating a condescending jerk.

Image credit: Fresh_Process6822 | Fresh_Process6822
Fresh_Process6822 | Fresh_Process6822

Commenter questions Ryan’s motives, reply calls situation insane

Image credit: Anxious-Zucchini3926 | Anxious-Zucchini3926
Anxious-Zucchini3926 | Anxious-Zucchini3926

NTA. Ryan’s ‘helpfulness’ was ableist and disrespectful. He wants recognition.

Image credit: Glitter_Voldemort | Glitter_Voldemort
Glitter_Voldemort | Glitter_Voldemort

Boyfriend ignores boundaries at dinner, gets what he deserves ‍♂️

Image credit: ginger3392 | ginger3392
ginger3392 | ginger3392

Defending your SIL? NTA! But his ‘helping’ was condescending

Image credit: NowIFeelLikeANoob | NowIFeelLikeANoob
NowIFeelLikeANoob | NowIFeelLikeANoob

Intervene when someone is uncomfortable. Don’t let ‘helpfulness’ excuse harassment.

Image credit: thestraycat47 | thestraycat47
thestraycat47 | thestraycat47

Boyfriend compared to Michael Scott from The Office, zero self-awareness.

Image credit: FreshwaterOctopus | FreshwaterOctopus
FreshwaterOctopus | FreshwaterOctopus

Trying to be helpful, he became a condescending buffoon

Image credit: Sufficient-Guess7018 | Sufficient-Guess7018
Sufficient-Guess7018 | Sufficient-Guess7018

Curious if Ryan’s behavior was out of character for him

Image credit: ServelanDarrow | ServelanDarrow
ServelanDarrow | ServelanDarrow

NTA comment and replies suggest dumping boyfriend or making him understand

Image credit: InvertedJennyanydots | InvertedJennyanydots
InvertedJennyanydots | InvertedJennyanydots

Ryan’s so-called helpfulness is actually micro-aggressions towards Lily. NTA.

Image credit: Scared_Hair_8884 | Scared_Hair_8884
Scared_Hair_8884 | Scared_Hair_8884

Soft Y-T-A for not stepping up in the moment

Image credit: Thingamajiggles | Thingamajiggles
Thingamajiggles | Thingamajiggles

Dump the rude jerk – ‍❤️‍ ‍- focus on fun!

Image credit: Free_Village_4836 | Free_Village_4836
Free_Village_4836 | Free_Village_4836

Beware of those who ‘help’ to boost their ego

Image credit: DaddyDenzeltron | DaddyDenzeltron
DaddyDenzeltron | DaddyDenzeltron

Respect over help. Ryan’s hero complex causes holiday disaster.

Image credit: RedhandjillNA | RedhandjillNA
RedhandjillNA | RedhandjillNA

Overbearing boyfriend’s savior complex ruins holiday dinner for all

Image credit: judgejudyOG | judgejudyOG
judgejudyOG | judgejudyOG

Boundaries are important. Boyfriend crosses line, gets left behind.

Image credit: mmslly | mmslly
mmslly | mmslly

Beware of performative helpers ‍♀️

Image credit: DrakonBlu | DrakonBlu
DrakonBlu | DrakonBlu

Boyfriend’s ‘helpful’ behavior at dinner puts girlfriend in danger. NTA.

Image credit: TipsyBaker_ | TipsyBaker_
TipsyBaker_ | TipsyBaker_

Boyfriend ‘blindsplains’ to blind person, gets served NTA karma

Image credit: Necessary-Peanut-185 | Necessary-Peanut-185
Necessary-Peanut-185 | Necessary-Peanut-185

Commenter calls out immature behavior with strong language.

Image credit: GarlicAndSapphire | GarlicAndSapphire
GarlicAndSapphire | GarlicAndSapphire

Boyfriend’s ‘helpfulness’ backfires during holiday dinner, causing tension.

Image credit: honey-smile | honey-smile
honey-smile | honey-smile

Being helpful or patronizing? NTA calls out righteous jerk

Image credit: Practical-Cloud-1637 | Practical-Cloud-1637
Practical-Cloud-1637 | Practical-Cloud-1637

Setting boundaries is key. When helpfulness turns to annoyance

Image credit: Pete26l96 | Pete26l96
Pete26l96 | Pete26l96

Commenter calls out OP for not standing up to their boyfriend

Image credit: blabbermouth777 | blabbermouth777
blabbermouth777 | blabbermouth777

Commenter calls out OP for not immediately stopping ableism.

Image credit: Disneyland4Ever | Disneyland4Ever
Disneyland4Ever | Disneyland4Ever

Standing up for oneself is always the right choice

Image credit: lianavan | lianavan
lianavan | lianavan

Boyfriend crosses the line at holiday dinner, commenter supports OP

Image credit: Specific-Succotash-8 | Specific-Succotash-8
Specific-Succotash-8 | Specific-Succotash-8

Overbearing boyfriend ruins holiday dinner, receives justified criticism. ‍♀️

Image credit: DontAskMeChit | DontAskMeChit
DontAskMeChit | DontAskMeChit

Setting boundaries is key NTA comment sparks disagreement.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Commenter regrets not stopping insufferable behavior at holiday dinner

Image credit: SheilaPerson | SheilaPerson
SheilaPerson | SheilaPerson

When helpfulness becomes cluelessness ‍♂️

Image credit: bigredcar | bigredcar
bigredcar | bigredcar

Boyfriend’s ‘helpfulness’ at holiday dinner crosses the line. ‍♂️

Image credit: Fickle_Dinner_4226 | Fickle_Dinner_4226
Fickle_Dinner_4226 | Fickle_Dinner_4226
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