One thing no one warned me about when I became a parent is how much I would start thinking about poop. What it looks like, what it smells like, the best ways to clean it up — seriously my Google search history has suddenly become poop-centric.
One mom shared her harrowing tale of a "poop-trope" on Facebook and at this point I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
As Brittany watched her daughter, Sadie, playing she realized that Sadie needed a diaper change.
In her words, it was a "poop-trope".
"I’m talking [one] of them poops you usually see in a newborn, where it’s all up then back and down their legs and you contemplate just throwing the whole baby away," she said in a Facebook post.
But then it dawned on Brittany that she only had four wipes with her. She desperately started searching her van for more wipes.
"At this point, Sadie’s just standing there naked in an empty (thank God) the parking lot, with poop up her back in her hair, down her legs to her knees, even on her shoes, because taking her clothes off did not go as smoothly as one would hope," she said.
"Then I hear it.... that painful SQQQUUUEEEAAAKKKKK of skin getting stuck to a plastic slide on the way down. I look up and yes, of course, it’s Sadie. She’s going down the slide, butt naked, COVERED in poop, leaving a long skid mark of poop allllllll the way down on her way," she said.
Not wanting to leave the slide covered in poop for some poor unsuspecting kids, Brittany drove home to get some cleaning supplies.
"Instead of risking a head injury I decide to go down feet first, on my stomach, holding on to the side to slow myself down with one hand and wiping with the other. This was not easy," she said.
"Anyway, now dying of embarrassment, I rush to throw away my wipes and get in the van. I look down and realize there’s poop all over my shirt. Of course, I went down feet first. My clothes got the bulk of the poop," she said.
"Always bring extra wipes, extra clothes, extra blankets, extra everything! Don’t clean out your car, ever. And if you aren’t mentally, emotionally, and physically prepared to roll around in another person’s feces... use a condom. You’re welcome!" she said.
Many agreed that this might be the poop blow-out to end all poop blow-outs. Thanks for sharing this, uh, wild story with us Britanny.
