Gone are the days of writing sonnets and heartfelt ballads as a way to attract a romantic partner. Nowadays you just need a photograph taken at a forgiving angle, a cutesy ironic joke which makes you seem personable and down to earth, and access to the internet so that you can post them online for strangers to make snap judgements about you – and they say romance is dead.
However, while we may mourn the days of romantic poetry, the rise of online dating has given us some absolutely hilarious profiles – so much so, that these days Tinder seems to be more for making memes than getting a date. So, here are 14+ of the cleverest and funniest dating profiles that will put your false claims about liking hiking and going the gym to shame!
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“Someone please date him”
It looks like your mum is having a lovely time at that costume party Zach, don’t ever be ashamed of taking your mum to a costume party!
A…Man…Duh!
Well played Amanda, you’re really rocking that ironic desperation schtick. Whenever I tried that it just came off as… well, desperate.
Smooth Work Dave…
I wonder what Dave did to the 1 in 10 real women to make them not recommend him to a friend?
The Importance Of Proper Punctuation
I bet she got a load of matches from this – after all, nothing says sexy like grammatical humor, trust me on that.
Professional Arms Dealer
I get that she’s funny but the 20/10 for personality bugs me, just put 10/10 and make it nice and symmetrical… and it’s crazy pedantry like this that meant I sucked at Tinder.
This Relationship Status Should Be An Available Preset On Facebook
Change that to, ‘Ordered two bottles of wine… drank both,’ and then you’re speaking my language.
Granddad Is On The Case
So, if you swipe right, are you going on a date with the granddaughter, or is the date just him grilling you about life choices?
That’s One Way To Save The Planet I Guess…
In this day and age we all need to be doing our bit to encourage leading a greener life, how we go about it is our own business though I suppose.
“Absolutely wild how well this bio has worked”
Wow, this guy really did his market research.
Take That Sharks!
This one reads as though he is having a go at the Shark for having ‘million years of evolution’ as though we also haven’t also undergone millions of years of evolution ourselves.
“Must See”
In the spirit of this, I went online and found a used car description that I felt matched myself:
“The damage is fairly substantial across the front of the vehicle, and there may be other age-related marks as you would expect.”
Too Real Tyler… Too Real
They do say that honesty is the best policy…
Speaking Of Honesty…
Well, I mean, at least she has a lot of stuffed animals… thats something right?
Next Level Photoshopping
I mean, she could have at least drawn some clouds at the top of the blue section, otherwise it’s just blatantly obvious that it’s a photoshop job.
Now That Is Unfortunate…
If only her parents had taken a moment to think about the consequences of calling their child ‘Helda,’ or even just said it aloud a few times.
Undercover Model
It’s similar to how I’m actually a millionaire, it’s just so secret that my bank doesn’t know about it.
“After 60+ custom profiles, Tinder banned me. So, here are my 8 favorite.”
I admire your dedication to the cause Jake, but I’m taking it that it didn’t pay off in the end? Unless you count middling reddit fame, and something is telling me that you definitely do.
Based on how this profile reads, I think we can safely say she’s telling the truth.
I like how whoever came across this didn’t need to go any further in her bio before they decided they liked her.
It’s amazing how much she accomplished with two words and four numbers.
Either somebody did this as a joke or they know how easy it is for us to miss our ex’s pet.
Besides, if someone’s spent all day striking out on Tinder, the fact that anything will pee in excitement to see them can be a surprising confidence booster.
Josh needn’t be so hard on himself because I’m pretty sure this describes a lot of us.
Of course, it’s easy to get so hung up on reassuring him that we don’t even notice he’s standing in a literal dumpster.
See? We already found something he’s good at and we just met him.
Well, I’ve heard of people falling in love with bridges and roller coasters, so I suppose seeing a TV cabinet on Tinder isn’t too surprising.
I’m not sure what the owner of this thing is going to do when they actually get a match, though.
A joke stops being worth it when you have to haul this heavy thing everywhere.
I’ll give this guy one thing. Using a Photoshop of yourself marrying Kit Harington as your profile picture is a bold strategy.
I guess it’s good to know how seriously some people take their celebrity lists like the one from Friends .
I’m not sure how someone will feel about having to share him with Jon Snow, though.
No, this woman isn’t pretending that she somehow spent 25 years out of the game at 23-years-old. She didn’t set this profile up.
Instead, her granddaughter decided to re-activate her old Tinder profile so her grandma could find someone.
It did seem a little suspicious for a grandma to describe herself as “hella” good at anything, didn’t it?
I guess there’s something about his mountain climbing expedition that made this man feel poetic.
Above all else, it’s the wording that kills me. Verily, the female dog better have Rihanna’s money.
I suppose this is a shot at other women who treat Bumble like Tinder, but it just tickles me as a bio.
“Hey there, fellas. You know what’s so special about me? Competance!”
He may not say much, but Michael here still found a way to be open about his interests.
As we can see, he likes cycling, camping, communing with nature and…we’ll just ignore whatever’s going on in that creepy cellar.
All I know is that his bio better be completely blank. Commit to the bit.
There is definitely something attractive about a woman who lands on her feet as well as Shannon here does.
Well, it’s probably not a good idea for her to land on her feet at all for a while, but you know what I mean.
Sometimes you don’t even need to understand the bio to be intrigued by the profile.
There isn’t much I know about Alexey here, but I think it’s safe to guess that he’s a pretty chill dude to likes to party hard no matter what the cops say about it.
His bio is both confusing and grammatically correct, but I won’t blame you if you get distracted before you read it.
He seems like he could be handy around the house, but he could just as easily be a guy who wandered into a Home Depot and took pictures like this until the employee finally tracked down their apron.
It can be hard to stand out from the other guys on Tinder, but Skylar here definitely found a way.
So now the question remains. Are you worthy of the secrets of the universe, chief among them being what’s going on in this guy’s pants?
Alas, it’s all fun and games until your roommate spends the rest of the week giving you weird looks.
Still, this woman has made it very clear that getting with her will be the start of some spontaneous adventures, so that’s exciting.
Well, I’ve often heard that it’s good to be upfront in these things. You don’t want to waste each other’s time.
And so, although it’s sad that some die-hard Tom Holland fans may not see spider mask to spider mask with this young man, it’s for the best before anyone gets hurt.
Don’t Beat Around The Bush Sierra
One day the plumber will fix the sink you have my word… and when they eventually do, the world will breathe a final cathartic sigh of relief.
“I thought her bio was a joke. It wasn’t”
She looks pretty buzzed about the whole thing considering the state of affairs, it’s almost as though she doesn’t give a truck ! *canned studio laughter
“I just liked her bio”
I guess an ego is a turn on for some people… I’m not kink shaming, just saying.
