No one said that raising a daughter would be easy.
They can be moody, grumpy, and overly dramatic (just ask any # GirlDad ). But girls are also strong, brave, and compassionate. Getting them there just takes some clever parenting.
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One parenting expert on TikTok has just the trick to making it happen! But it’s not what you’d expect.
Parents shouldn’t be too strict with their daughters.
This revelation was shared on TikTok by Aly Pain, a parenting expert from California.
In her viral video, she warned parents against this, saying that doing so could even be life-threatening.
“Parents of daughters, if you’re in the frame of mind where parenting is absolute authority, your word is the last word,” she began.
“There’s no room for talking back or speaking up, their opinions aren’t welcome, you’ve laid down the boundaries and rules and that’s how it’s going to roll.”
She said that this has a major impact on how women date when they’ve been taught not to speak up.
Sharing her own experiences, the expert said, “I started dating cuz I was looking for love in all the wrong places and never found it,” she explained.
I’m sure many of us can relate.
She said that her parents being too strict with her made it impossible for her to set boundaries with men.
“This isn’t about not giving myself permission or too scared to set up a boundary – I literally didn’t know I had permission to set a boundary with men.”
These problems weren’t limited to just relationships. Aly explained that she also suffered from eating disorders and anxiety as a result.
This stemmed from feeling as though her parents had the final say on her life — something no human should experience. “And I couldn’t speak up or talk back to them,” she added.
“You know why?” she asked her 498k followers.
“Cuz that’s how I was raised!”
She ended her video by saying that if a young girl isn’t allowed to have a two-way conversation with her parents or disagree, then she will find it difficult to use her voice in the real world.
Many of Aly’s viewers agreed.
“Oh the accuracy of this. she believes that she’s not deserving of basic respect and boundaries. She doesn’t know. I’m learning this now,” one wrote.
Aly validated her, writing, “Your voice is powerful. You have permission to use it.”
“Ahh. The emotional intelligence. I wish more parents got this…” another wrote.
“Advocating for yourself and dealing w conflict takes practice. The home is where kids need to practice.”
Some users also shared their experiences of growing up in a strict household and how this was damaging to them.
“The thing is if I speak up I get dismissed or ridiculed,” one wrote.
“Yepppp. This was so damaging for me, ‘ another wrote. It’s led many to therapy later in life.
“I had to go to therapy for this. The amount of damage it does. It affects all areas of life including career.”
That user brought up a good point.
While relationships are most affected, the inability to say “no” would certainly affect your career, your friendships, and more.
Thankfully, several parents provided hope by sharing that they already taught their daughters the importance of setting boundaries. “I teach my children ‘no’ is okay,” one wrote.
“100%!!! My daughters bow down to no man, no even their father. They are hell on wheels and will roll heads,” another mom wrote.
“I told my 8 year old she needed to take a bath and she told me NO I told her YES and she replied MY BODY. MY CHOICE.’ this mom shared.
She gets it!
