Most people will wake up in the middle of the night and think, “I’ve just had the best idea,” then write that idea clumsily in the notes app on their phone. However, in the light of day these ideas can feel like completely insane ramblings riddled with typos.
The ability to recognise when an idea is not as good as we initially thought is very important — and it is not a gift that the people in this list have!
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A Tree Made Entirely Out Of Teeth!
Great, now kids will be terrified of the tooth-fairy due to them thinking that the tooth fairy only takes kids’ teeth to sit atop a throne of calcium like some sort of demonic god.
“This person’s tattoo…”
This is a crime against Pointillism! Although, there is no doubting that this is a quicker way of getting a six pack than actually going out of your way to exercise and get healthy! Who has time for that?
“CVS is getting weird with the offers on their receipts.”
“Hi, I’m here to redeem this voucher, shall we get started with the hosing right away?”
“Can do, I didn’t have a shower this morning as I knew this would be coming.”
“Irish Garda tries to reason with a swan…”
The human police should never try and apprehend any swan criminals, they simply are not emotionally or physically equipped for this task. This is why we have a specially-trained team of swans to monitor the rest of their species!
Well, This Is Certainly New!
That does not necessarily seem like the kind of place that I would want someone to be poking around in my nether region with surgery equipment. It looks more like they should be selling chips out of it, not offering out delicate surgery.
A Dress Made Entirely Out Of Balloons!
Surely most people would realise that this “dress” would be making the worst sounds possible whenever she wanted to move around in it? Can you imagine how annoying hearing that all day would be?
“My hips: ‘Ow, ow, ow, urg, ugh, ow.'”
“Wow, you must really love children to dedicate your life to designing and building playground attractions! It is such a noble pursuit and it must be so rewarding!”
“Well, just wait until you see the slide…Muhahhahahaaaa!”
“Budget AC repair.”
This looks like they might have gone two or three steps too far. The guy at the end has a lot of faith in his friends as well, I don’t think I would trust anyone enough to do that!
That Tattoo Is Pretty… Deep?
I have never really subscribed to the idea that tattoos have to necessarily have any real meaning, but I am struggling with this one. So long as he likes it, that is all that matters…right?
“I know Home Depot is just trying to sell freezers but it really looks like this deer is taking a dump in it.”
“That’ll teach you for keeping the corpses of my grandparents in this freezer! You’ll have one hell of a job cleaning this out after I’m done!”
“Jesus still wants you to come home.”
I love it when you see churches trying desperately to appeal to a younger audience by tapping into pop culture. There is something refreshing about seeing them try so hard, but they never manage to pull it off.
” A whole troupe of knights lining up to receive their meal from the king!”
I suppose that if the Burger King really is a king then it is only right that he should have a round-table’s worth of knights to do his bidding!
What A Truly Horrific Jacket…
Now that is the definition of tasteless. I do not think that there is a single person on the face of the planet who could pull off this jacket — unironically or otherwise for that matter.
“My dog using my wife as a pillow.”
I know that people’s pets can start to take over their households, but this is a step too far…he says, while also sitting on the floor so that his cat can have the nice comfy chair.
“You should make sure you tattoo artist is sober before getting a tattoo.”
That would not necessarily be an easy fix either, so it looks as though this cock-up is with them for life! Still, at least they learned a valuable lesson!
This Horrifically Unsettling Christmas Ornament…
Sometimes, if you pretend to be asleep, you can hear Father Christmas’s fleshy eye drones buzzing around your dark room, getting as close as they can to your face so they can read your mind.
“Too cool to bury a dead person in.”
Although, one individual did point out, “Imagine finally being free to haunt your enemies and your [dumbass] family have you ghostbusted the second you leave your coffin.” That would be a real bummer now that I think about it.
“What should we be calling these things? Joes, Sheans or Jeals?”
I personally think that “Joots” is the best and only name for these abominations. The name Joots would be the only redeeming factor of them as well, so there’s that!
“If only there was a letter resembling the shape of the Eiffel Tower they could’ve used…”
Wow, I did not think that I would be presented with an even more hideous denim item than the Joots this soon and yet here we are!
I Didn’t Even Know These Things Existed…
“My girlfriend bought a recyclable tea bag that looks like a condom filled with termites. I tried to get her to throw it away but she refused. Maybe with some [help], I can come up with a reason why she will change her mind,” wrote this individual in desperation.
