As much as people tend to try and prepare for married life, it’s all but guaranteed that some problems are going to arise when a new family lives together.
And while some of these issues reveal enough about a partner that they actually spell the end of the relationship, others are daily annoyances that rarely seem big enough to warrant anything drastic .
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However, that doesn’t mean these smaller issues don’t take their toll after they go unaddressed for long enough. And as we’re about to see, that goes double if one person in a relationship keeps trying to address them but only ends up feeling ignored.
As each week passes, the mom we’re about to hear from finds herself working four 12-hour shifts.
As she explained in a Reddit post , it’s also hard to coordinate with her husband because he gets home from work at 1 am and sleeps during the day.
But in the past, this didn’t stop him from making dinner, taking care of all of their son’s needs, and cleaning around the house on his days off. As things got busy for one partner, the other would step in.
But in recent times, it seems that this arrangement has fallen apart and the mom is left picking up the slack.
As she put it, “Now he doesn’t make dinner at all, falls asleep on the couch by 7 so I have son duty 24/7 and hasn’t lifted a finger to clean in weeks.”
This means that on days where she would otherwise take a breather from her intense schedule, she finds herself deep cleaning the entire house.
Noticing where this trend was headed, the woman asked for her husband’s help about two weeks prior to her post.
Unfortunately, this resulted in about 30 minutes of house work before leaving to help his friend with his car and then apparently being too tired to do anything when he came back.
And when she told him that she needed a break from all she has to do in the time since, he made no offer to help and instead hugged her and told her she was doing a good job.
Not long after this, the woman seemed to hit the last straw and arranged a vacation for herself.
Without saying a word to her husband, she left their son with her mother and set off for their cabin 58 miles away to relax.
After he discovered what she had done, he called her selfish for doing this and claimed that if he had known she wasn’t “merely stressed out,” he would’ve helped more.
He also said that he had been tired and stressed as well and said that her communication as to what she was going through had been terrible.
But in her words, “But the thing is, I straight out told him I needed a break. I asked him for help. He disregarded it all.”
Despite this, she was nonetheless curious to know whether she was in the wrong in this situation.
And while just about everyone understood why she needed a break, some took issue with the fact that she left without notifying him.
As one user put it , “I absolutely see why you needed the break, and you even went above and beyond to find a babysitter. But, man, just disappearing for four days like that is not okay.”
However, even people who weren’t impressed by this decision largely saw her husband as the bigger issue in the situation.
In the words of one commenter, “Asking him for help is communication. When he says lay it out, does he want you to write him a chore list like he’s a child?”
They went on to say, “If you’re working 12 hour shifts, taking care of the baby, and doing all the house chores, what exactly does your husband need a break from?”
Another user didn’t buy the husband’s statements either, saying , “It’s so telling that he wants to blame his decision not to contribute on you by saying you didn’t communicate. He knows he needs to throw in equally, he knows he wasn’t doing it, and he knows that you told him.”
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!
h/t: Reddit | 71910sj101
