Etiquette is something that is always a hot topic, despite it being part of a centuries-old tradition!
No matter who you are, you have to have some thoughts about proper manners — it's only human nature! Now, a new mom is wondering if she's in the wrong for not taking the time to write thank-you notes following the difficult birth of her first child.
Now, a new mom is wondering if she is in the wrong for not sending thank you cards following her birth last year.
The anonymous story was originally shared through Slate’s "Care & Feeding" advice column.
"We welcomed our first baby during COVID, and our family and friends have been amazing. When they couldn’t be here in person, they showered us with tons and tons of baby gifts. What they couldn’t do in person, they made up 1 million–fold in sending things. We were getting care packages, meals, etc., all the time, an impulse I absolutely understand, and the support was both heartwarming and overwhelming."
"I had a very difficult pregnancy, a nightmarish breastfeeding experience, and a lot of C-section complications," she explained. "I had PPD pretty badly for a while and was in a pretty dark place."
A totally understandable reality many new moms face.
"I have been waking up at 4 am just to get a little time to myself to exercise, eat, and shower before the day starts, and then I’m off to the races working, caring, cooking, cleaning, etc. I am on my feet until I close my eyes at night to go to sleep."
With this being said, the new mom revealed she hasn't had the time or energy to write thank-you cards to everyone.
"With the sheer volume of stuff we received, and from so many different sources, I did not keep track of any of it while we were in the thick of things," she added. "At this point, I have no idea what we got from who, and I also am sure that I missed a bunch of things and never even acknowledged receiving them."
Her partner is willing to help, but she stated that "this is an expectation that really falls on women here, and so I don’t think that is even the type of acknowledgment they want."
Interesting.
"I doubt anyone who gave you a gift is sitting at home right now wondering why they didn't get a thank you note. When I give baby gifts, I never expect a formal thank you note. Just a thank you in the moment is perfectly fine! Or heck...I don't even need that if I gave the gift remotely!" wrote one person.
"The universe has a funny way of taking care of people who follow their hearts, so start writing notes ASAP and the universe will get you through that, caring for a tiny mewling baby, breast feeding, etc," echoed another.
"Is the thank you note thing mostly about "etiquette" for folks who care, or is it about missing out on seeing a gift bring someone joy?" asked one reader. "The comments seem kind of mixed. If the latter, it makes a little more sense, and I think the distinction people have brought up about gifts given in-person vs. not in-person makes sense. I still think these people should let it go, but I guess I understand the reaction in an emotional sense. But if it's just about feeling like you "should" get a note, because that's what people are "supposed to" do...yeah, man, I don't know."
It's clear the internet is divided and now, I want to know where you land!
h/t: Slate
