People with serious food allergies know how tough it can be to trust someone else’s menu. Oftentimes, the simplest solution is to just bring their own food.
A Redditor with serious food intolerances recently ran into some family drama at a barbeque. To avoid an allergic reaction, she brought her own food. That’s where things went off the rails.
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She went to Reddit to ask if she was in the right.
“My MIL is very aware of my food allergies/intolerances and has been for the 22 years that we have been married.”
This all sounds okay, until OP explains , “My MIL is one of those people who believe that you eat what is served or you do not eat, and that food allergies are something that people make up in their heads.”
Buckle up, because the drama is just getting started.
OP asked her MIL what was on the menu.
OP had allergies to practically everything on the menu, which she explains is nothing new.
They discussed things with their spouse and decided the easiest solution would be to simply bring their own, allergy-friendly food.
“When it was time to eat, I quietly served myself from the containers and put my plate on the table,” wrote OP.
“When my MIL saw that I was eating food that was different than everyone else, she immediately got upset and told me how rude I was to bring food.”
OP explained the situation, but her MIL wasn’t having it.
“She went on about how I always have to make myself the center of attention,” OP wrote. “My spouse told MIL that she has known for almost two decades that I had food allergies.”
There’s definitely history here.
OP wrote that at a previous Thanksgiving she’d had to restrict herself to just the dinner rolls and salad to avoid getting sick. “She got super offended that I did not eat and called me over dramatic.”
Such scenes have apparently been regular. “If I eat before I go, and do not eat anything, she guilt trips me and tries to get me to eat,” OP wrote.
Was this really that rude or disrespectful?
OP’s father-in-law sure thought so, because those are the two words he used to describe OP’s actions.
After a bit of a testy back and forth, OP left the scene with her partner.
“Our phones have been blowing up non-stop, some people agreeing that MIL was overreacting,” wrote OP. “Others think I should have eaten what I could out of politeness, or eaten before I came.”
Food allergies are no joke.
This was a common theme among Redditors who responded to the post.
One wrote : “This is legitimately a health issue and cannot just continue to go on like this. What does your MIL need to see, for you to get seriously sick in hospital or maybe worse from an allergic reaction to a meal she prepared knowing you were allergic to it and forcing you to eat, before she realizes she’s [expletive] up?”
“There’s no winning here.”
“Your MIL knows she can make you seriously sick with the food the serves, and has known for two decades,” wrote another respondent.
“She complains when you eat before you come, she complains when you only eat what’s there that you can eat, and she complains when you bring your own food. And I’m sure she’ll absolutely make a martyr of herself if you opt not to turn up at these family events.”
Nevertheless, many suggested OP may have to stop visiting her MIL entirely.
“Honestly, I would just stop visiting her at all. If she can’t be bothered to deal with the dietary restrictions of her guests, she shouldn’t be entertaining,” one person wrote .
“The host’s ONLY job is to make guests feel comfortable and welcome. She seems to be more interested in everyone telling her how wonderful she is and how everyone would just starve without her Herculean efforts of making food for everyone. If anyone is being dramatic, it’s her.”
Practically everyone agreed with OP.
It’s hard not to, given the circumstances.
Readers, we want to hear your thoughts. If you have a severe food allergy or intolerance, how would you navigate a tricky situation like this one?
