Because weddings are pretty much always stressful undertakings that bring families who may have never met together, there’s a fairly high risk that some family drama will unfold once the day presents itself.
And the arguments leading up to a wedding can be over everything from money to how they expect guests to dress. But more often than not, they have to do with how those guests will get along.
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And while it seems that this final scenario was exactly what one bride was trying to avoid, the demand she made ended up guaranteeing that her wedding would not go smoothly.
Long before her sister started planning a destination wedding in Hawaii, one woman has had a complicated history with her family.
In a Reddit post , she described her parents as being “insanely homophobic” in the past but having softened on this position in recent years.
Speaking as a bisexual woman who has been in a relationship with another woman over the past year, she said that her parents have “begrudgingly” accepted her girlfriend.
However, this apparently cannot be said for the family the woman’s sister is marrying into.
With the exception of the sister’s fiancé, they’re unaware of the woman’s girlfriend and the sister’s future father-in-law in particular is known to use homophobic and transphobic slurs regularly.
With this in mind, both the woman’s sister and her parents have told her not to “start drama” by bringing her girlfriend to the wedding.
As she put it, “They told me my sisters wedding is not the time to ‘make a statement.'”
But from the woman’s perspective, all she would be doing by bringing her girlfriend is celebrating her sister’s union in the company of the woman she loves.
Since her parents have offered to pay for her flight and lodging and she sets her own hours, she can’t make any excuse not to attend that doesn’t confront the issue head-on.
Thus, she told her family that if her girlfriend isn’t going to be welcome at the wedding, she won’t be coming either.
In her words, “Major drama had ensued, sister is really upset because she won’t have a brides maid otherwise (it’s family only, and her fiance just has a brother), and she doesn’t want to have to explain to the in-laws why I’m not there.”
These results have left her asking Reddit whether she made the right decision.
And those who commented were quick to emphasize that the only ones causing drama here are the people trying to exclude her girlfriend.
As one user put it , “Guess your sister can either explain why you aren’t there or invite your SO. Sounds like a ‘her’ problem.”
Others resented the idea that the woman was the one making things difficult, with one person saying , “You are not at all making any type of statement by simply existing in a relationship. Don’t engage with homophobes.”
Another user who has been through a similar situation also suuported the woman’s decision to stand firm.
In their words , “I had an almost identical thing with my partner. You come as a single unit comprised of two people. Not divisible. Not negotiable. They either want you both or they don’t want you at all.”
h/t: Reddit | ThrowawayNZ2000
