People Are Sharing Normal Things Parents Do That Are Toxic In Eye-Opening Thread

Of course, if you're a parent, it might be a bit hard not to compare your kids. But this line of thinking can turn toxic when the parents make it public.

"The good old 'why can't you be more like [brother/sister]. That does nothing for their self esteem and really can keep them from becoming their own person."

This is a classic switcheroo: telling a kid they won't be mad if the kid fesses up, then getting mad when the kid does, in fact, fess up.

The top comment for this theme rhetorically says that parents pull this, then wonder why their kids never talk to them.

Parents teach kids to admit when they're wrong, but all too often, parents fail to practice what they preach.

As a comment notes, it can mess kids up when parents are unable to apologize, and instead victimize themselves.

There's little doubt that parents face a whole galaxy of problems, but kids are not really equipped to deal with hearing about them.

"Your kids are not your therapist. Also, they can't do anything to solve your problem. Instead, address your issues with your spouse and a therapist."

One comment says that when parents invalidate their kids' emotions through ignoring them or shutting them down, it can stifle a kid's ability to express themselves.

This is a common toxic argument technique, where one party makes the other think they're crazy for holding their position. Parents are hardly immune to gaslighting their kids.

"My mom has completely rewritten my childhood," wrote one user, and the comment seemed to strike a chord.

This might seem normal and cute, but it's kind of weird when parents joke about this when their kid has a close friend who isn't the same gender.

"On top of reinforcing the idea that boys and girls can't ever be strictly platonic friends, it's so creepy to project adult ideas of romantic relationships onto kids who are practically still toddlers."

Let's be real: sometimes the kid has better points than the parent. But the parent often has better argument techniques to salvage the win.

One user addresses the trap of punishing kids for 'disrespect' or 'talking back', just because they've raised a point that the parent can't counter.

This one's more recent: creating a fake situation where they can take a photo or video of their kids for the social media points.

"Less of a parenting tactic and more of a tactic parents use: contriving a video (featuring their kid) to post to social media. It's super common, I don't understand how so many people are fooled into thinking they're genuine."

Parents can protect their kids from some things, but not nearly everything.

"If you don't let your kids fail, and protect them too much, they'll be less capable of doing so once they've left home. Failure is good, just provide a safety net."

No one has all the answers, not even parents!

But if a parent doesn't know the answer, it's best to acknowledge that. This comment points out that if a parent makes up an answer, it can give their kids the wrong idea.

Affection is good, and everyone needs a hug from time to time.

"I also don’t believe in making children hug people," wrote one commenter. "If the child wants to hug them, they will. It shouldn’t be forced."

Teaching kids about sexuality can be a tricky subject, but kids deserve to know the truth. Referring to naughty bits as "hoo-haa" or "dingaling" or whatever just makes the whole topic more difficult to understand.

"I’ll never forget being so afraid to tell my parents that i was suicidal, at age eleven, as a last resort and getting yelled at for it because of how selfish it was to say that when they provided everything I needed," wrote a commenter.

In short, parents need to recognize the difference between bad behavior and mental illness.

Lots of kids see them that way, but as one commenter notes, parents should be able to own up to their mistakes and change their minds if their kid gives them a valid reason.

Lots of kids get the "don't be so dramatic" line from their parents, but when this happens repeatedly, it just teaches kids to bottle up and hide their true emotions.

News flash: it's normal for kids to have nice things like video games and cell phones, even if their parents didn't have the same stuff. This doesn't mean the kids are necessarily spoiled.

As one user points out, a girl might be comfortable wearing a normal outfits of shorts and a tank top. But when a certain family member comes over, she's forced to change.

This behavior essentially protects predators and sends the message that these family members cannot control themselves.

One commenter pointed out that going solely to one source for advice is a bad idea.

"My mom listened to my grandmother instead of taking me to a psychiatrist. It wasn’t “a phase” it was autism and OCD. Now I’m in my 20s with trauma from the way my mental health was disregarded and autism leaving me more vulnerable to abuse."

All of us have parents, and many of us are parents ourselves. Parents are generally doing their best and are generally not monsters. But it's important to recognize the toxic behaviors that can create problems later in life.

Make sure to check out the thread and let us know what you've learned as a child or as a parent.