Look, I'm not going to sit here and tell you why Chris Meloni is the best. You clicked on this article, didn't you? You know exactly what you're here for, and I admire that.
There are few things not to absolutely love and adore about Mr. Meloni. His charisma, talent, and star power have made him a fan favorite on shows like Law & Order: SVU, Oz and Happy!
Now, it's time to talk about another important part of Chris' power — his behind.
And yes, I am comparing the infamous period in European history that marked the transition from the Middle Ages to modernity over the 15th and 16th centuries, to actor Chris Meloni.
My husband may say it's a bold move, but I say it's not bold enough.
"SVU is filming in park slope this week and someone in the neighborhood facebook group posted this photo of chris meloni," tweeted user @PeterNHess.
Naturally, the internet did what the internet does, and completely lost its mind,
He started off rather tamely by answering fan questions about how his derriere got so big.
He blamed it on his weight, (200 pounds) and his age (60-year-old) and I, for one can attest to my butt getting larger with age!
However, things quickly got X-rated on Chris' Twitter account.
When one fan asked if they could use his backside as a floating device, Chris gave the most hilarious response.
"Sure. But first a short tutorial: Put it around ur neck, blow into the tube to inflate, and then assume the position. Emergency exits are this way and that, Enjoy."
When one fan asked if the cake (his behind) was "homemade" Chris replied that it sure was!
"Wudda tasted better without a wallet and phone buried in the filling." AHHH!
Now please, excuse me as I go rinse my eyes out with soap!
