There are times in our lives when our friends give us advice they feel is heartfelt and useful. While they think they are coming from a good place, some of their words can hurt. Not all “advice” is coming from a good place and sometimes it’s better for them to say nothing at all.
Recently, one woman wrote into Reddit about her friend’s advice.
The Reddit user is having a hard time with her friends advice over her body.
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“So I (31F) was looking for bathing suits online, with my friend (30F). We’re getting into beach season where we are, and Covid restrictions have been lifted in our area,” the Reddit user said.
The Reddit user is a mom of two young children.
“I have 2 young kids, and as you can imagine, stretch marks on my stomach, thighs, and breasts. I mean, nothing too crazy or severe, but I think, looking at me you can tell I’ve been pregnant. I have a mixture of one-piece bathing suits, and two-piece sets. That day, I happened to be looking at two-pieces,” she added.
She showed her friend a two-piece she was considering, asking if she’d like it.
“Friend says, ‘But you have stretch marks all over, and you have the mom pouch. You should probably look for a one-piece to cover yourself up,'” she shared.
The Reddit user got defensive.
“My defenses went up, but I calmly replied, ‘Okay well, Imma [sic] go out on a limb and say most people have some form of stretch marks somewhere on their body, be it from pregnancy, sudden weight gain or loss, etc,'” she continued.
Her friend claimed she wouldn’t look “sexy” on the beach when they go.
The Reddit user explained she isn’t trying to look sexy or gain attention, as she’s married with two children.
“Friend: ‘Just because ‘lots of people have stretch marks’ doesn’t make them pretty to look at, though,'” she wrote in her post.
The Reddit user decided to tell her the beach trips are off.
“After a long pause, I said, ‘I guess we won’t be going to the beach together then, I wouldn’t wanna subject you to my disgusting body,'” the Reddit user said.
Her friend, however, thinks there’s nothing wrong with what she said.
“She rolled her eyes at me and said, ‘Ugh, don’t take it to the extreme. I was just trying to be helpful. People will stare.’
The rest of our visit was quiet and awkward, and I’m still miffed. She’s trying to pretend nothing happened, but I’ve been distant. She texted me ‘Seriously? You’re blowing this out of proportion. I’m not apologizing for something I said with good intentions,'” she said.
When asking the Reddit community, everyone agreed that this Reddit user was 100% in the right.
“Your friend is an idiot. People will not be standing around staring at you. People [have] stretch marks, it happens. Those are not a visual affront to others.
And your friend wasn’t being honest about anything save for how shallow she is,” one person said.
Others had heartfelt advice.
“I’m sorry, I need to know exactly what her “good intentions” were. Like give me bullet points. Because from my end, it looks like she repeatedly tried to convince you that the opinions of strangers mattered more than your own.
Go wear a [expletive] string bikini to the beach. Let the world bask in the glow of your mom bod. There’s a woman on Twitter who says it best: ‘In art, every imperfect is perfection. It adds to the price, it makes it expensive. Your cellulite is adding to your price. It’s making you expensive and you’re trying to hide it!’ Show the beach how expensive you are,” one person added.
What do you think? Were these comments out of line?
