Your job's a joke? You're broke? Your love life's DOA? It'll all be okay.
I can't fix any of those things, but I can show you funny pictures that'll ease the pain of existence for a few minutes! It might not though, because humor is subjective. For instance, my Mom really likes Rob Schneider movies and redneck jokes. I don't understand it, but I respect it as best I can and just quietly unplug their Apple TV when I come over. So far, they haven't caught on.
I'm really hoping that whoever did this posts their cover online, mostly so I can track them down and hire them to play my next wedding. This is such a beautiful display of spite.
Because if anything, this is going to make him run much, much faster. And further. And never come back. He's in Guam now. You'll never hear from him again. He's now changed his name to Stephen, and he drives an Uber.
This guy must feel worse about himself than the burglars in Home Alone: The Holiday Heist. And those must be the saddest burglars in the world. Not only because they got defeated, but also because they got cast in Home Alone: The Holiday Heist.
If I yell out Expecto Patronum and this pig DOESN'T come rushing out of my wand to drunkenly fight whatever thing I am trying to protect myself from, I'll be very, very disappointed in my life.
But I feel so bad. This cone of shame is the most shameful cone of shame ever. He's so furry and it highlights how tiny his poor head is. He's going to be very angry when this comes off.
He'll probably tell you where you can find Goldron, the magical Wind Dragon, and steal back the vast treasure of the mythical Otter empire.
Come on, this was just unfair. Now all we can think about is placentas and nomming on food through a tube in our stomachs. I don't like the visual this has created.
A lust for vengeance, poorly laid out plans, and an unhealthy amount of self-confidence.
...Actually, forget being a supervillain. This person has all the skills to be the next president of the United States.
This poor, poor person and their unwashed hands. They were probably waiting there while their beer got warm and their wings got cold, desperate for someone to come along and clean them. I hope they left them a bad Yelp review.
In fact, let's all do this to every fourth floor we have access to, let's make this a movement. It won't be weird, I promise. Okay, it'll be a little weird, but it'll be worth it.
But be that as it may, this stupid meme made me laugh and then feel horrible about laughing because I can't help but feel personally attacked here.
This is also going to be my nickname for every pepper in the grocery store from now on, and it is going on every grocery list I make. I don't even eat peppers that often, but I'm going to start, just so I can...
...Wait. These are avocados.
And to be fair, this is like every dollar store kids toy ever. "Here's some brightly colored plastic junk! It doesn't really do much, but then neither does your baby, Sandra."
And the person in the car is going to end up a little upset when they end up at a 24-hour IHOP or a greasy truck stop that's fresh out of key lime pie.
Sure, there haven't been any conclusive studies that prove changing the toilet paper causes brain damage, but there also haven't been any conclusive studies that prove it doesn't. I think being cautious is wise.
I've heard of stealing lawn gnomes and realtor signs, but someone's PORCH? That's the type of heist the burglars in Home Alone: The Holiday Heist aspire to be. Congratulations to the culprit. You're a monster, but you're clever AF.
But props to this person for not adding random characters like "Essay adsfh1" to the end. Trust me on this one, you don't want to go down that road.
I've never understood the appeal of kids posing with a giant, clearly abnormal-looking bunny. It's not right!
Hey, at least he listened, and the final result...well, I don't see how she could even be mad at him.
I'm a little bitter I didn't get an invite to the wedding, but I don't even think it was an open bar so I wouldn't have missed much anyway.
Old Sparky here has clearly tried to run for it one too many times. This is a brilliant, cost effective solution!
Or both?
Tbh, would it not be super fun to pick a book out like this?
Honestly, if I were this child's parent, I wouldn't even be mad. I'd be proud that I raised such a blossoming comedian.
I'm here for this. I know I'd be that person who pushes, then pulls, then awkwardly stumbles to the actual entrance like a fool.
