Relationships can be difficult to navigate at any age, but especially when you are younger.
Society dictates weird milestones that must be met in order for a romantic relationship to be seen as valid in the public eye, and to be frank, it’s pretty dumb.
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Every person on the earth is different, so wouldn’t it make sense for every relationship to also be different? I swear I’m not saying anything revolutionary here.
Sex is seen as an integral part of any relationship.
That’s the case for some people, but it isn’t universal. Your sexual relationship with your partner may be the main factor in why you two are together, but it could also be of little importance, or not exist at all.
Yes, sex has a lot of psychological and physical benefits , but contrary to popular belief, it’s not for everyone. And that’s perfectly okay.
Celibacy has gotten a bad rap over the years.
But oddly, so has sex? You’re either having too much or not enough—it’s always something.
Why do our existences have to be boxed into the stereotypes of slut and prude? Could we maybe like, just live our lives ???
After Jess lost her virginity at 16, she placed a lot of importance on sex.
She felt like real relationships fed off of sexual desire , and that sex was a way of keeping a partner happy.
“Sex became the key to happiness and I was soon mistaking lust for love — having five lovers in my teenage years.”
On her first date with her now boyfriend, he made a shocking confession.
“An hour into the date he said something that would change my opinion of him for what I thought would be forever,” she explained, “That he’d never had sex and he wouldn’t do it before marriage.
She was absolutely stunned.
He explained that his reasons were part religious and part moral.
He explained to her that he was a practicing Christian, though at the time, Jess described herself as a “hardcore atheist”.
“The idea of pursuing a relationship in which we couldn’t have sex did not sit well with me at first. I didn’t even think it was possible.”
“After my first date with Josh, I spent time thinking about why sex was so important to me.”
Jess reexamined her relationship to sex and found that in her earlier years, she was “obsessed with being sexy” and that obsession put a lot of pressure on her.
“As we continued to date, I tested his boundaries to see how far I could take it and asked questions about why his beliefs about it were so strong. I was his devil’s advocate.”
“He has urges like everyone else”
However, she found that despite personal challenges and public opinions, not having sex actually made her relationship with Josh better.
“I’m now 18 months celibate, and I’m happier than I ever could have imagined.”
She feels less pressure to adhere to society’s beauty standards.
Jess reveals that she’s never felt more confidant.
When the pressures of life made me gain weight, I no longer worried that I have to look a certain way in order to keep a man interested . I’ve come to realize that loving someone isn’t about what you both can do in the bedroom, it’s about how you cope with the pressures of life, working together rather than shying away from them between the sheets.
Whatever you choose to safely and consentually do or not do in a relationship should be your choice, not society’s. To each their own, you know?
h/t: The Sun
