Okay, I’ll admit it: I have an Oreo problem.
Golden Oreos cookies specifically. I go in for a single sweet golden medal of dessert goodness and suddenly, the package is empty.
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Thank you for participating in my cookie intervention.
After golden and double stuffed, I thought Oreos had hit a peak of tastiness.
What comes up, must come down, and after being on top for so long, I figured that Oreo cookies would eventually get, I don’t know, gradually worse?
Let’s just say that I’m as shocked as anyone when I learned that not one, not two, but five new Oreo flavors are being released this summer .
Let me introduce you to our new cookie counterparts.
First up is S’mores.
This is your rugged hipster boyfriend who loves glamping (glam camping in a cabin with full electricity/running water), a good flannel shirt and beanie combo, and crumbles at the slightest hint of confrontation (like when your mom asks him when he intends on proposing to you).
He’s a mixture of classic chivalry, sweet gestures, and a gooey, marshmallow heart.
Also, actual S’mores moved to Nebraska for his Masters, so this one will have to do.
Next is Marshmallow Moon
Released for the 50th anniversary of the Apollo Moon Landing, this cookie is your fake friend. You know, the one who was either created by the government or by Stanley Kubrick.
Tasty and worthy of celebration, but she’ll always be the subject of a little controversy, and she likes it that way.
Oui Oui Maple Creme
Maple Creme is your second cousin from Quebec, Canada. Her sugar rush makes her talk so fast that you have no idea what she’s saying, but she’s just so cool and sought after that you don’t even care.
You can only visit for a few days at a time though, cause after a while, hanging out with her is a little too much sweetness for the system.
Hubby Mint Chocolate Chip
A classic dessert flavor + an already wonderful cookie = the perfect package.
This is the husband who will go to CVS at 2:30 AM to buy you tampons without a hint of embarrassment. This is the husband who calls your mom to wish her happy birthday before you do .
He’s so genuinely good at being himself that he doesn’t even seem real, but trust me, he’s on his way.
Latte Creme Thins
The Latte Creme Thin is that friend who has all of her sh*t together. I’m talking fresh manicure. I’m talking good credit. I’m talking Starbucks knows her order and she’s a gold card member.
You don’t get to see her often cause she’s so darn busy, but when you get together, it’s impossible to say goodbye.
I bet you already have a favorite.
All five flavors will be available in stores this June , and honestly, summer never looked so sweet.
