Twitter | @joeheenan

Husband Tries Replacing Wife's Stolen Chocolates With Brown Sauce

Most of us can proudly say that we're not the type of person who eats other people's lunches in the break room. We have a special type of scorn for that person and they better hope that we never find out who they are.

However, the rules tend to get a little blurrier when we're at home. We're more likely to have those little moments of weakness there, especially if we're rooting around in the fridge late at night.

But even though a confectionery misdeed here will cause a different kind of drama than at work, it's still something most of us want to avoid.

And someone just took an extreme measure to do just that.

There's not much that we know about Joe Heenan, other than that he's a husband and father who lives in the U.K.

Twitter | @joeheenan

He also describes himself as an "award losing stand-up comedian," which tells us a lot in just a few words.

However, there is one more thing that we know about Heenan: He has a bit of a sweet tooth.

At least, that's the only way to explain why he ate a bunch of his wife's chocolates.

He wasn't ready to accept defeat yet, though.

For those who aren't familiar, "brown sauce" is not some vague way to say chocolate sauce.

Reddit | charper789

While it would make sense to swap out the original chocolates for that, Heenan either didn't have any or panicked because that's not what he went with.

Despite its generic name, brown sauce actually means something specific in the U.K.


As one local explained, it's made from tomatoes. malt vinegar, molasses, glucose-fructose syrup, spirit vinegar, sugar, dates, modified corn flour, rye flour, salt, tamarind, and some other spices and flavorings.

As this picture would suggest, it goes well with sausages.

But as much as people enjoy it, it would definitely be an unpleasant surprise for somebody expecting chocolate.

Of course, Heenan's wife would likely be able to tell something is up before she even tries anything as her "chocolates" are suddenly way less solid than she left them.

For this reason, a few Twitter users suggested putting his substitute in the freezer.

Reddit | HotbodHandsomeface

It's one thing to look the part, but there's no chance Heenan will get away with his caper if his "chocolates" don't hold up to closer scrutiny.

Others also pointed out that Heenan better make sure that his wife doesn't follow him on Twitter.

Reddit | nombacon

After all, the most convincing fakery in the world won't make a lick of difference if she's got all the evidence of the theft and the cover-up in one tweet.

Still, no matter how successful Heenan's ruse turns out to be, he certainly amused Twitter for a while.

His stand-up comedy may not win him any awards, but this shows that the competition was probably closer than his bio makes it sound.