Heinz Announces New 'Kranch' Condiment And Things May Have Gone Too Far

We all have that "special sauce" we love the most. That concoction of mixed condiments we've perfected over years of experimentation.

Mine's pretty boring, but where most people dip grilled cheese sandwiches into ketchup (or tomato soup), I always squeeze some yellow mustard in with the ketchup to add some bite.

Whenever I'm in the grocery store aisle, it really feels like we've reached Peak Condiment.

Like, is there anything that could be added to the shelves that's really "new"?

Apparently, Heinz has given up with the innovating and resorted to combining condiments into single products with unfortunate portmanteau names.

The insanity seems to have begun last year, when Heinz polled Twitter to see if a new product was worth it.

If they got enough yes votes, they'd release "Mayochup," a combination of ketchup and mayo, onto store shelves.

And they got enough votes.

The questionably-named "saucy sauce" was later joined by two more.

Instagram | @erintongay

"Mayomust" and "Mayocue" mix the mayo with mustard and barbecue sauce respectively, and continue to really awful naming scheme.

And now, Heinz is branching out from the mayo.


"Kranch" is their latest creation. If you couldn't tell by the name, it's a mix of ketchup and ranch dressing, which I just can't get on board with.

Personally, I like to control the ratios in my condiment mixes.

But for those that can't wait to try it, Heinz ran a contest to give out the first 100 bottles made.

No word yet on when they'll hit store shelves, but I don't doubt it'll be soon.