Intense public scrutiny is part and parcel of dating a Kardashian (or Jenner), and no one knows it better than their exes.
Whether it’s Kim’s quick marriage to Kris Humphries, Kourtney’s rocky non-marriage to Scott, or Kylie’s weird relationship with Tyga, the Kardashians have no shortage of men waiting to spill the tea on their time with the famous family.
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Kylie and Tyga
So, the reason I called their relationship “weird” is basically that Kylie was friggin’ 17 when they started dating.
That’s illegal, for the record! So “weird” was generous, honestly.
Maybe I’ll let Nicki Minaj’s carefully orchestrated clothing shade speak for me.
Tyga and Kylie started dating in 2014
Again, she was underage. I do not understand how her family and Kylie herself let that happen, but anyway.
They dated for three years before breaking up in 2017. And Tyga did not take that breakup well.
He thinks he made Kylie famous
In an interview, he said,
“So I had a lot to do with all that, you know what I’m saying? Which I don’t need credit for. I don’t need to go online and tell people I did this and I’m the one who helped her coming up with these colors and names on her…lip line [Kylie Lip Kits].”
I mean, he did just go online, but whatevs.
He wrote an album influenced by their relationship
His album, Kyoto, features a song called, “King of the Jungle.” Peep the lyrics:
“I been unfaithful, you were an angel / I ran off with your halo, yeah, I made you unstable”
Considering all those cheating rumors, this is pretty damning evidence.
Kim and Nick Lachey
Yup, that happened. Way back in 2006, Kim and Nick Lachey briefly dated.
Nick was post-split from Jessica Simpson at the time, and Kim was still coming up on the scene. Keeping Up With the Kardashians wouldn’t start for another year.
He thinks she used him for fame
He told Details, “Let’s just say this: We went to a movie. No one followed us there. Somehow, mysteriously, when we left, there were 30 photographers waiting outside.”
…He’s probably right.
Kim and Damon Thomas
This feels like ancient history now, but Kim was once married to music producer Damon Thomas for 4 years.
They married in Las Vegas when Kim was 19, and Damon was 29.
Their divorce was finalized in 2004
Their divorce records were leaked in 2014. In them, Kim alleged that Damon physically and emotionally abused her.
She claimed he was controlling. “Damon told me not to leave the house unless I first told him when and where I was going.”
Damon had some choice words for her
In a 2014 interview with In Touch, Damon went off.
“She can’t write or sing or dance, so she does harmful things in order to validate herself in the media.”
But he didn’t stop there
“That’s a fame-w**** to me. It’s just not cool at all.” He continued, using misogynistic language.
Uh, if she wanted to use him for fame, those court records probably would have leaked way before 2014.
But I guess we’ll never know for sure.
Kourtney and Scott Disick
This one is tough. Kourtney and Scott, though never married, were together for 9 years before they split.
However, they share 3 children together, so they couldn’t exactly cut each other out of their lives.
Their post-split fights made it to the TV
In one argument, Kourtney was angry that Scott had introduced their kids to his 20 year-old girlfriend, Sofia Richie.
“Do you think you’re difficult?” He asked. “Do you think you’re overly controlling?” Kourtney naturally said no.
He continued, “Do you think there’s any chance you could be in denial about anything?”
Oof.
Peace has been made
Despite their arguments, the two have settled into co-parenting Mason, Penelope, and Reign.
And yeah, Scott is still dating a woman 16 years his junior, who was only 19 when they started dating. I’ll let y’all work out how you feel about that.
Kim and Ray J
Oh boy.
If you know anything about the Kardashians, you know how all of this started. After the leak of Kim’s sex tape with Ray J, they skyrocketed to fame.
Ray J isn’t nuts about that.
He wrote a song about Kim’s fame
Because apparently the Kardashian-Jenner women inspire sub-par lyrics? Anyway, Ray J included this gem in “I Hit It First”:
“Hit it from north/Brought her head down south/Now that I’m finished/She’s on to Mr. West”
And that wasn’t all.
He allegedly shared details of their sex life to the media
According to The Sun, Ray J revealed intimate details of their sex life while apparently on a “boozy night out.”
The details included the cost of her g-string collection, how Kim preferred to look during, and even declared, “I hit it first, man” to the party-goers.
Kim denied all of it
She wasn’t having any of it . Replying to a fan on Twitter, she seemed more amused than angry, but made clear that none of it was true.
Ray J also denies saying any of it, which is…interesting.
Khloé and Lamar
The ups and downs of Khloé and Lamar’s marriage is painstakingly documented all over the Kardashian TV universe.
From their marriage (after only a month of dating) in 2009 to their divorce in 2013, all of it was up for consumption via E!
The two faced some dark things together
Lamar’s drug addiction put a massive strain on their marriage. Eventually, it was the catalyst to its end — alongside cheating allegations.
However, this tea is the sweet kind: Lamar has nothing but love for Khloé.
He originally wanted Khloé back
After leaving rehab, he talked about his future plans:
“I want my wife back. Other than that, I just want to live a happy, healthy life … Khloé is important to me. She’s been through all this with me. She stood by my side. I just want to repay her.”
However, that never came to pass.
Khloé moved on
Obviously, she didn’t want to get back together with someone that cheated on her — but she still cares about Lamar.
She checks up on him to make sure that she’s okay, she said in an episode of KUWTK.
She now has a child with her ex, Tristan Thompson.
Kim and Kris Humphries
Kim and Kris got engaged in May of 2011 after a year of dating. They married in August.
She filed for divorce after 72, which means her engagement was longer than her marriage.
Their marriage was mocked ruthlessly
And that didn’t sit well with Kris. He wrote an entire article on the end of their marriage, detailing how humiliated he was afterward:
“There’s definitely a lot about that world that is not entirely real. But our actual relationship was 100% real.”
Going up against the Kardashians was futile
“And I didn’t even want to say anything to defend myself, because it felt like I couldn’t win. You can’t go up against the tabloids. You can’t go up against that machine. There’s no point.”
Guys…I feel bad for Kris Humphries. Read the rest of his essay here.
