Hello and welcome to the Kris Jenner appreciation hour! If you don't want to see an article dedicated to the hardest working momager in show business, click away now.
If you do want to see that article, I have some great news. We are gonna break down Kris' most iconic lines, her most embarrassing mess-ups, and her most hilarious mom moments.
And memes. My god, there will be memes.
We have to begin this list with the most recognizable Kris meme of all.
"You're doing amazing, sweetie!" Is the Kardashian meme to end all memes, thanks to its endless uses.
Kris, honey, as a meme? You're doing amazing, sweetie.
For Mother's Day 2018, Kylie Cosmetics became Kris Cosmetics.
The takeover was part of the launch of Kris' collection with Kylie Cosmetics. Mother really does know best, doesn't she?
This also takes us to #3...
Called the "Kris Collection," her cosmetic line originally included an eyeshadow palette, a face palette, and a mini lip set called "MOMAGER."
Tag yourself, I'm "Does it come in black."
Hey, what would you like to have around you, if you were going to give birth?
Is it your mom dancing, singing, spinning in a chair, and snapping her gloves? Because that's what Khloé got.
This will have multiple parts, because if there's one thing Kris loves more than money (and her kids), it's roasting her kids.
Being the shortest in the family is going to make you a target, no matter what family you're in.
"And people say we have no talent."
We stan a woman so self-aware that she can make jokes about what people say about her.
Oh, and for the record? Kris' talent is hustling. Love her or hate her, that is the absolute truth.
Firstly, did not know that black toilet paper is a thing. Secondly, definitely need to buy some. Just to try it once, you know?
But yeah, Kris' dedication to her black and white aesthetic is extreme. The woman knows what she wants, what can I say?
A great way to make your daughter's first pregnancy go smoothly is to grab one of your other daughters, drive to her house, climb over her fence, and toilet paper her house.
Iconic.
What's a momager to do when she's not organizing her filthy rich children's lives?
Uh, I guess get drunk and get some plastic surgery. To be fair, that is the most Kris Jenner thing I could imagine.
You can really tell what was actually on Kris' mind in this one, because she somehow mixes up, "You're only as happy as your least happy child" and "You're only as happy as your least favorite child."
Oof.
Imagine if your mom decided to turn your partner's name into a phrase she uses on the regular.
"Ugh for the love of Kanye." What a beautiful, useless phrase.
Hey, can we make "Ugh, for the love of Cher," happen?
A list of uses for this image: when you're shocked at something you read online.
When you're offended at the price of your online cart.
When someone is stating F-A-C-T-S and you're shook—I could go on.
You know how I know Kim isn't the smart one in the family?
This right here.
I love that Kris knows her girls aren't smart 100% of the time, and has no shame in roasting them into the ground.
This family is insane.
The out-of-body experience Kris must have had when she had to tell one of her daughters to stop taking selfies, because the other was being driven to go to jail...iconic.
Because she doesn't GAF, y'all.
And honestly, if my skin looked that good a 63, I'd go makeup-free, too. (Yes, she is 63. Yes, money can buy you your youth back.)
Sometimes, you just get so focused on that #promo that you recall fond memories of meeting Oprah.
And sometimes, you forget that the birth of your granddaughter should maybe rank higher than meeting Oprah.
You'd definitely think, "Hey, that's an allergic reaction." Right? Right.
Now, if only we could see what she was talking about...if only Kris starred in a show where cameras followed her around to record her every action...
God bless reality television.
If Kris hadn't clarified that this was some kind of freak allergic reaction, I'd definitely think this was a lip injection gone wrong.
But since it isn't, I guess a bug bite it is.
(Wink, wink.)
This meme of Kris crying while talking to Caitlyn went from sad to 100% meme in the blink of an eye.
It fully looks like she's taking a picture of herself crying. What else was the internet supposed to do?
To be completely honest, this might have been warranted. Everyone was all about Kylie "invented" colored hair, which is...insane.
Also, I can't un-see the truth that Kylie does look like My Little Pony meets Katy Perry.
There's nothing like a mom to keep you humble.
First of all, relatable.
Second of all, how on Earth does anyone take Kris Jenner somewhere without cell service? I'm pretty sure her phone is part of her body at this point.
A list of situations you can use this gif in:
When your friend texts you to ask for help moving, and will repay you in pizza
When you have to go to the gyno
When the TV show you quit watching comes back and you have to pretend you know what's going on because everyone around you won't shut up about it.
Kris, like all moms on social media, spends more time posting pictures of her kids than of herself.
Unlike other moms, she also posts promotional campaigns for the projects her super-famous children are working on.
When Ariana Grande's video for "Thank U, Next" dropped, everyone was floored when Kris Jenner appeared.
Honestly? Being the pushy showbiz mom who isn't a regular mom, she's a cool mom? That's the role Kris was born for.
