Getting married and planning a wedding is an incredible, wonderful, magical life event. It's also a minefield of financial woes, social niceties, and frayed nerves that rarely avoids drama.
One of the toughest parts can be picking the bridal party.
Getting married and planning a wedding is an incredible, wonderful, magical life event. It's also a minefield of financial woes, social niceties, and frayed nerves that rarely avoids drama.
One of the toughest parts can be picking the bridal party.
There's the question of responsibilities, as not everyone can make the time for bridesmaids' duties. Some people can't afford the extra costs of a custom dress. Inevitably, there's the question of whether to include members of the groom's family.
It's going to come up no matter what. That's just part of trying to choose a dress style that will flatter all members of the group, but one bride in particular is getting flack for the way she dealt with the issue.
There, she shared her story in the handy subreddit r/AmItheAsshole.
The forum is a place where one can get outside opinions on a situation when you're not sure who is in the wrong.
While they aren't as close as they used to be, they've maintained a group chat and regularly meet up for girls' nights.
But the bride didn't ask Erin to be a bridesmaid.
She became standoffish and lukewarm about invites to other wedding events.
The bride turned to Kristy, who made it clear why Erin's feelings were hurt and demanded to know why their friend was excluded.
Apparently, due to a hormone disorder, Erin's breasts are enormous and the bride couldn't figure out the logistics of getting a dress specially tailored for her. Plus, it limited style options in general.
There was so much planning going into a beautiful venue and ceremony.
She didn't want people to look back on her wedding and only remember the "bridesmaid with the giant boobs."
But the bride wondered if it is okay to be a little bit selfish on her wedding day.
It didn't take long for people to inform her that yes, she was being unreasonable.
User Justanothername16 said that after a bride's mom raised questions about having a pregnant, tattooed bridesmaid, the friend shut her down:
She ... told off her mother saying she wanted ME to be her bridesmaid because she loved ME as I was and she wouldn’t change me for the world. It was beautiful and loving and we’ve only become closer since.
"The only giant boob here is you. I'd reconsider before you lose a good friend over something as trifling as a dress," said ChaoticForkingGood
There were plenty who were dropped due to their body type, but also for reasons like not being able to afford the dress the bride insisted on.
No matter the reason, it hurts.
If they really are as large as the bride says, requiring things like extra padding on bra straps, then Erin is likely very aware and self-conscious of any "distraction" she may cause.
Excluding her specifically because of them will only increase her discomfort in her own body.
Later, she posted an update, proving that she's going to try to make things right:
Thanks for your thoughts. I posted this recognizing that I was being at least a bit of an asshole, but I failed to fully comprehend the depth of my assholery, and more importantly how this seemingly insignificant bit of shallow exclusivity could hurt my friend on a deep level.
I want to thank many of you for helping me to rediscover some perspective that I lost in the midst of planning for my wedding. I plan to sit down with Erin, apologize, and do what I can to fix the situation.
So perhaps this story will have a happy ending after all!