The Hamilton Spectator | Sybil Hicks

Cremated Woman's Obituary Truly Gives Her The Last Laugh

As much as some of us might dread thinking about it, we will all have to face our mortality sooner or later.

Although it's natural to feel scared, sad, or even angry when it seems like the end is coming soon, some people have the ability to deal with it the same way they deal with every other stage in their lives: By laughing at it.

And based on the uniquely funny way one Canadian woman decided to sign off for the last time, that method seems pretty effective at giving loved ones a gentle push towards the new normal.

On February 2nd, 81-year-old Sybil Marie Hicks of Baysville, Canada succumbed to complications from Alzheimer's disease.

The Hamilton Spectator | Sybil Hicks

However, that cause of death comes from a report by Yahoo Lifestyle and not the obituary itself, which appeared in The Hamilton Spectator

This is only the first clue that we have a unique obituary on our hands.

For one thing, this is one of the pictures of her that ended up in the paper.

The Hamilton Spectator | Sybil Hicks

Barb Drummond, one of her daughters, told Yahoo Lifestyle that it was taken around the time she and her husband helped their youngest son build his house.

As Drummond said, "[There was] no running water so she hadn’t showered. It was no big deal to Mom, and she made faces for the camera."

And yes, that photo's resemblance to a Melissa McCarthy character isn't lost on her family.

YouTube | Movieclips Trailers

Her other daughter, Brenda, said that many have mistaken that photo for the actor and believes that they would have been great friends.

Another interesting touch is that the piece is written in the first person and said that neither her husband, nor her oldest, nor her youngest helped with writing it.

Reddit | Izzilynn

Barring any paranormal explanations, it seems we can take this to mean that she had some idea of how she wanted it to go ahead of time.

Speaking of her husband, the fact that she affectionately called him her "horse's ass" is definitely a highlight as well.

Reddit | motherbread16

Yet, as with most of the obituary, the roast-level barbs are mixed with words that reveal her true sweetness, as she also gives her blessing to her husband's new "special friend" Dorothy, whom she is sure will lovingly take care of him.

There's a similar mix of dry wit and tenderness when she mentions her children, whom she said she tolerated over the years.


She goes on to mention her eldest son, Bob, whom she called her favorite, and Brian, who was apparently the "Oreo cookie favorite." That likely has some hilarious meaning to the family.

But her other children aren't left out and neither are her 13 grandchildren, whom she can't pretend she won't miss seeing.

But if there's one line that stands above the rest in this legendary notice, it's her joke about her own cremation.

Reddit | Movieclips

As she put it, "I finally have the smoking hot body I always wanted."

Yeah, she just slid that in right after talking about her gardening and what local clubs she belonged to for maximum whiplash.

And of course, an instant classic like this needed an appropriate final send-off to make it feel complete.

Reddit | emersonic420

For Sybil, she picked a nice classy way to close it out: "I am off to swim to the buoy and back, love Sybil."

h/t: The Hamilton Spectator

Filed Under: