You probably know Evan Rachel Wood for her roles in Thirteen , True Blood , and Westworld .
What a lot of people don’t know is that after years of abuse, she attempted suicide, and checked herself into a Psychiatric hospital.
RELATED STORIES
Now, she’s sharing her story in a revealing essay for Nylon .
In the essay, we learn about Evan’s mental health struggles at 22-years-old.
“I am not a mental health expert, but I can share with you one of my experiences with it. When I was 22, I willingly checked myself into a psychiatric hospital, and I have absolutely no shame about it. Looking back, it was the worst, best thing that ever happened to me,” she writes.
She explains that she was abused and raped, and as a result, was struggling with PTSD.
She wrote about calling her mother for help after attempting suicide.
“For the first time in my entire life, I asked for help. I admitted I could not go on without someone intervening, to pick me up off the floor. I had collapsed under the stress and pressure of being alive.”
She dove into the very-common struggle that was finding “good” mental help for her mental health crisis.
In the end, she admitted that she had to pay quite a lot of money just to be admitted into a private room at what she refers to as a “decent place”.
“Mental health shouldn’t be a luxury for the rich. It felt like I barely made it in by the skin of my teeth—and I am privileged. Imagine how hard it is with no health insurance or money or resources?” she wrote.
Once admitted, she ended up changing her name and wearing sunglasses indoors, in an attempt not to be recognized.
After a few days of sleeping, she joined the other patients and wrote about how taken aback by how welcoming everybody was.
When she finally decided to attend group therapy, she listened to everyone’s stories and wasn’t sure that hers was “bad enough” to share, and worried that it wouldn’t compare to the others.
Still, she detailed the years of abuse and later felt that a burden had been lifted off her shoulders after everybody supported her.
On her final day, she was visited by a psychiatrist who had been giving her daily evaluations.
It was then that the psychiatrist revealed something that caught Evan off-guard.
“Can I tell you something now that you’re leaving? I didn’t want to mention it before.” I said, “Sure.” “When I was in school, I saw the movie Thirteen, and it made me want to get into this line of work to help people. You’re why I’m here,” she wrote.
It was during that conversation that for the first time in years, she felt that things happen for a reason.
“I had felt worthless, and like the world was better off without me. But it turned out I had helped myself in a way I never thought was possible. I gave to someone who then gave back to me. And for the first time in years, I felt like maybe things did happen for a reason. Maybe there was a reason why my attempt didn’t work. Maybe I was supposed to be here,” she wrote.
“There is no economic class, race, sexuality, or gender that is safe from their own mind,” she said.
“We know success doesn’t cure depression, we know that people telling you they love you doesn’t cure depression, we know that just thinking positively doesn’t cure depression. Depression isn’t weakness, it’s a sickness. Sometimes a deadly one. And sometimes all people need is to know that they are loved and that others are there for them.”
Her story is far from uncommon.
Celebrities who use their platform to open up about their own mental health struggles could mean helping even just one person dealing with similar struggles.
The entire essay is moving, and well worth the read.
We’re happy that Evan has decided to continue her therapy, and after almost a decade, has shared her story with the world.
