I don't think anything can truly prepare you for being a parent.
It's like, how do you prepare for the most important job you'll ever have, but at the same time, be expected to perform it on minimal sleep and barely enough time to go to the bathroom?
Well, the good news is that these hacks will help a little. They might even trick people into thinking you've got this parenting thing all figured out.
I won't let on that you haven't showered in three days. We can keep that between us.